Rules about food and cleanliness are taken very seriously for many people.
Like, no shoes in the house.
No food or drink near expensive things.
Feet on the floor.
People expect others to take that all to heart.
When others don’t, it can stir up some drama.
Case in point…
Redditor absolutirony wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for giving the silent treatment after my gf’s son spilled in my car?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I got a new car earlier this year and it’s the first big item I’ve bought for myself.”
“It’s my baby and I take good care of it.”
“This weekend I had to drive to town B for work.”
“To get to town B I have to drive through town A which is where my girlfriend’s mother is so my g[irl]f[riend] asked if I can give her [my gf] and her son a ride there to visit her mother.”
“We left yesterday and before leaving I reminded both her and her son of my number one rule: no food in the car.”
“She said whatever, agreed and we went off.”
“On the way her son complains about being hungry so we stop at a gas station and the two of them go off to quickly grab and eat something.”
“After about 20 minutes they come back to the car and both holding slushies.”
“I stop them and tell them that they can’t drink that in my car and she says they can’t possibly finish it fast enough without making us more late and that she wasn’t even willing to do that.”
“This resulted in a back and forth of arguing and the ultimatum was to leave them there or to suck it up.”
“I gave in and let them in cautioning them to be careful.”
“After about 30 minutes her son drifted off and dropped the melted slushy all over the back seat.”
“I yelled f**k and pulled over to clean it up.”
“After cleaning it up I got back in the driver’s seat and just drove.”
“I was bloody livid but knew fighting or arguing over this wouldn’t solve anything.”
“Still I was in no mood to talk so I just remained silent for the rest of the ride, only giving short answers when spoken to.”
“I dropped them off at her mother’s and kept driving.”
“When I reached my lodging I saw a message from my gf calling me d**khead for giving them the silent treatment and making her son feel like s**t over an honest mistake.
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, you made it very clear how important the car being clean is to you, they ignored your boundaries and exactly what you were afraid of happening happened.” ~ fnub577
“And huger is no excuse.”
“A hungry kid doesn’t need a slushy.”
“They could have grabbed a banana and a string cheese and a bottle of water, all of which can be consumed quickly and aren’t messy.”
“She had to know the slushy was a bad idea; she just didn’t care.” ~ BaitedBreaths
“NTA. Your rules and the slushy isn’t something you get for hunger.”
“Also, the silent treatment is far preferable to saying something you’re both going to regret.”
“We all tend to say really nasty crap when livid.” ~ tango421
“NTA. You clearly told them no food or drink before they got in.”
“If they were hungry, they could have had water or something with a cap or lid.”
“Did she even offer to clean it?”
“She should have used that opportunity to teach her son respect for someone else’s property instead of expecting you to give them a free pass.” ~ PopulationMe
“NTA – even if you wasn’t new and you hadn’t established rules for it, folks should know better than holding a slushy in their hand when they might fall asleep and spill it everywhere.”
“In your case, you had straight up warned them and they ignored you.”
“They should pay you to have it cleaned.” ~ EmeraldBlueZen
“NTA… Your car, your rules.”
“I also don’t allow children with food and drinks (other than water) in my car.”
“When your g[irl]f[riend] gets a car of her own, she can allow her son to trash it.” ~ OhioGirl22
“They were in the gas station convenience store for 20 minutes and didn’t bother to finish eating and drinking?”
“The whole slushy thing seems to have been a strait up disrespectful act, minimizing and ignoring your rules to do whatever they wanted.”
“NTA at all.” ~ EmeraldBlueZen
“I won’t even consume more than water in my car, the most I’ll do is bring drinks home, but I make sure the lids are on there tightly before I put them in the cup holder.”
“Like OP, my car is brand new and I can’t bring myself to risk it yet.”
“Hell, I put all fast food in a plastic-y reusable grocery bag because I don’t want to risk any grease leaking into the bag and onto the seat.”
“I’d be livid too if someone dumped a slushy on my back seat.” ~ ScroochDown
“NTA I’m so confused about the YTA verdicts.”
“The boundary was clearly set, GF crossed it and didn’t try to fix it.”
“Had you been screaming AT a child who made a mistake, then YWBTA.”
“I’m not really sure why people are expecting you to be happy and jolly when you’d already said no food in the car to keep this exact situation from happening.” ~ diabeticcappuccino
“Yes I came into it ready to say YTA for the silent treatment (when done deliberately as a punishment it’s no bueno) but that’s not really what he did.”
“He kept his mouth shut rather than say something he would possibly regret later.”
“He has a right to be upset.”
“Getting a slushy was a purposeful choice.”
“She’s lucky all he did was silently fume to be honest.”
“He could have really been closer to being an a**hole and told them to Uber to Grandma’s if they want their slushy so bad.” ~ DataIsMyCopilot
“That’s exactly where I was at with the silent treatment.”
“Totally ready to declare him an immature AH for that but upon reading it, he actually did the mature thing recognizing he was in no place to have an actual conversation about it so he kept his mouth shut.”
“I think OP needs to understand just because you’re choosing not to talk to someone isn’t necessarily ‘the silent treatment.'”
“It’s only that if you’re deliberately doing it as punishment for them not behaving as you’d like.” ~ Embarrassed_Pain7247
“Same page as you, why would anyone think OP would just quickly be, ‘ok yeah, that happened but everything’s great!’…hell no.”
“He didn’t even really give them the silent treatment with his one word/short answers, but was clearly not in a chit chat mood.”
“When the gf buys her own brand new car, then she’s free to make her own rules, but completely disrespected and even fought OP’s boundaries, while doing her and her child a favor.”
“Your car, your rules as far as I’m concerned, and it’s not a crazy rule by any means, which he now unfortunately knows first hand. NTA.” ~ therealmrsbrady
“NTA. Honest mistake? No. She bought slushies.”
“They can not be consumed quickly, so she knew they would end up in your car.”
“This is a perfect example of the difference between ‘accident’ and ‘unintended results of taking an unnecessary risk.'” ~ 2_old_for_this_spit
“NTA. You set a firm clear boundary.”
“Your girlfriend ignored it.”
“And that resulted in your car getting messed up, which is what you feared.”
“Your response ignoring her was proportionate to her offense.”
“She doesn’t care about you, Dude.” ~ dekebasswood
“NTA bordering on ESH.”
“Only because, even though he’s 9, I feel like this was his mother’s fault.”
“I can see her being upset if he feels bad about your reaction.”
“But she shouldn’t have suggested this or even let you clean it up.”
“She should have been immediately apologetic and remedying the situation herself.” ~ Aggravating_Start411
“NTA. I remember when my husband got a nice sports car (this was 12 years ago at least) he didn’t allow us (me and the kids) to eat in it for several years.”
“The difference was we had a family car for travels with the kids… so we had options.”
“Your GF should have never ever gotten in the car with the slushies… ugh all that sticky sugar and the color could permanently stain your interior.”
“If she doesn’t offer to pay for the cleaning… or if she has skills-offer to clean it up (correctly) herself.”
“Then this isn’t the woman for you.” ~ countrymousecitymous
“NTA. You were angry, and she knew, and the only way you could control your anger is to stay silent.”
“I think she would have rather you be silent instead of screaming at them.”
“She needs to apologize and get the stain out herself since she completely ignored your request for no food or drinks in the car.” ~ nursephilipina
“NTA. Normally, I’m not a fan of the silent treatment, but it’s understandable in this situation, given that you were very upset about what happened but were nonetheless stuck in a car with nowhere to go to cool off.”
“Your girlfriend really sucks.”
“Not only for completely disregarding your one and only request when riding in your car.”
“But also for teaching her son that it’s perfectly fine to ignore and disrespect other people’s boundaries.” ~ prairiemountainzen
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
Your car, your rules.
It maybe time for a serious chat about this relationship.