When you’re close to your family, there isn’t much you wouldn’t do for them. And when things are as difficult as the year 2020, you want to do what you can for the people you care about.
Which is probably why 29-year-old Reddit user gfkickout did what he did. As he explains to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
But the original poster (OP) wonders if he overreacted.
He asks:
“AITA for kicking my girlfriend out of my place on New Year’s Eve for scaring my little brother?”
His story goes:
“We can all agree 2020 was a sh** year. Particularly for my family.”
“We lost our dad beginning of the year after he had a heart attack and my little brother (12) had no one to take care of him. Our mom died when he was 3 so our dad was all we had left.”
“I fought for custody and was appointed his legal guardian.”
“Honestly it hasn’t been easy. We’re still adjusting to these life changes and my brother is taking it the hardest.”
“For months he was just not himself. Bad attitude, lashing out.”
“I got him in therapy because I knew he was just hurting, plus stress of pandemic.”
“His behavior has improved so much since then, even if sometimes there’s days where he’s withdrawn.”
“Days before Christmas he was feeling sad since it was our first holiday w/o dad. That day, he asked to be left alone.”
“We had a talk to discuss his feelings and I gave him his space after that.”
“My girlfriend was over that day and I went out to buy groceries. When I got back my brother was out of his room and helping out.”
“I didn’t think anything of it at the time.”
“Yesterday my brother and I were out having some guy time before going back home to get ready for New Year’s Eve.”
“My brother opened up about how grateful he is for everything and he hopes that I don’t change my mind about taking care of him. I asked why he’d think that and he told me what happened.”
“That day when I was out my GF went to his room to tell him he needs to change his attitude and stop moping (her exact words) because he should be grateful I’m taking care of him at all. And that we can still hand him over to the state if we wanted to.”
“I was furious about this and had to reassure him that was never gonna happen because he really was worried about it. We went home, I confronted my GF and she didn’t deny it.”
“She told me it’s true and there was nothing wrong with telling him to stop acting like that when he should be grateful I ‘gave up my life’ to take care of him. And the thing about giving him up isn’t that big of a deal to her because it’s not like I’ll actually do it.”
“I said she still scared him with that threat and told her to leave my apartment because honestly, I was far too mad and because I didn’t want her to be near him right now.”
“She started crying, there was more fighting but she left in the end. It was just me and my brother for New Year’s.”
“Since last night I’ve been bombarded with calls from all our friends for kicking her out knowing she has no family and nobody else to spend the holiday with. Everyone has sided with her and even my best friend says I may have overreacted by making her leave when she probably thought she was helping.”
“They’ve heard my side of the story but still think I was an a** for making her cry and spending the new year alone. I’m having trouble seeing how I could be so here I am looking for internet strangers to weigh in on this.”
On the AITA subReddit, posts are judged with the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
And OP was determined to be NTA.
“In what world are you the arse in this scenario? Time to get new friends to go along with a new girlfriend cuz none of the current ones sound up to snuff.”
“NTA at all, you were protecting Your brother, a vulnerable child whose only stability is you now.” – Amara_Undone
“NTA….. how is everyone siding with her? She must have told some twisted version of the story to your friends.” – mathxjunkii
“NTA”
“What an utterly horrible thing to do a child who’s lost his parents.”
‘I confronted my GF and she didn’t deny it’
“Has she expressed even the slightest hint of remorse since then? Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t kicked her out of more than just your apartment; is there still a place for her in your life at all after this kind of behavior?” – StAlvis
“NTA, you were nicer than most people in your situation would have been. The fact that she has no family and STILL said that to your brother makes it even worse!” – slytherinslt
A lot of comments were more worried about OP bringing his girlfriend back after she threatened his brother.
“You are most definitely NTA. But you will be TA if you stay with your girlfriend. Please update us when you can” – Secret_Siren
“Jesus f’king Christ”
“The only thing that worries me is that you refer to this person who hurt your brother like this as ‘your girlfriend’ and not ‘ex girlfriend’”
“YWBTA if you bring this woman back into your brothers life. This is straight up mental abuse” – yupanotherone12345
“you need to dump her and rethink about your friends who sided with her…NTA” – coolkidz002
In an update a day later, OP told everyone how he handled the situation.
“OK wow this has gotten a TON of feedback. Thanks everyone for your kind and encouraging words.”
“I might not have replied to a lot of the comments that made me smile but just know that I read and appreciate them!”
“I know I only posted this a few hours ago but I’ve had a day to clear my head and really think about this. I talked to my brother because I wanted to know if she’s said anything else to him.”
“Thankfully she hasn’t and we had another serious chat to remind him everything she told him is completely false. I would never in a million years give him up and that shouldn’t have been put in his head.”
“Another thing I told him was that I’m grateful he’s here with me. Without him I wouldn’t have made it through the year and I thanked him for giving me that strength to keep going.”
“Someone who DM’d me suggested reassuring him that he’s not somehow ‘ruining’ my life in case he feels any guilt for what she told him. Thank you for that suggestion!”
“Now, I know you were all waiting on this news.”
“Yes, I did break up with her.”
“Thinking about what a lot of you said, talking to my brother about how this made him feel, and my own thoughts about how badly she acted, I decided that’s not someone I want around me or him.”
“I can’t risk her doing something like this again and ruining any progress he makes in therapy.”
“I know many of you think I should’ve done it on the spot, but I wanted to make this decision with a clear head and not when my emotions were extremely high.”
“She came by my place earlier and we talked outside. Her reaction was as bad as you’d expect and she STILL believed she did nothing wrong, even after I explained it all to her.”
“There was just no making her understand and I told her it was over. I gave her a couple of her things that were lying around my apartment and she left.”
“My phone started going off like an hour later so I had to put it on Do Not Disturb. That’s all the drama I could handle for one night.”
“I’ll deal with my friends some other time.”
“Honestly, I’m exhausted. Mentally and emotionally drained right now.”
“I think this weekend we’ll do something to get our minds off this. I definitely need it after everything and I know my brother does too.”
“It’s been a hard year already without all this extra drama. Anyways sorry for the really long update you guys but I didn’t want to leave anyone hanging.”
“I’m sure more comments will keep coming. I probably won’t be sleeping much tonight so I’ll keep my mind busy by reading and replying to more of you.”
“Thanks again for the support! What a sh*tty way to start the new year but here’s hoping for better things :)”
Reddit has something of a reputation for telling people to cut out family at the slightest hint of toxicity. But as this story has proven, they’re more than willing to keep a family together too.