It’s been said time and time again that being a grandparent is considered one of life’s greatest joys.
When a person becomes a grandparent, it’s like they’re new parents all over but only experience the highs: the hugs, the cuddles, the spoiling, the laughing.
Parents can handle the rest.
But sometimes grandparents just aren’t the best… not even good for that matter.
And if they were not great parents the first time around, do we really expect them to be stellar grandparents when they get another chance?
A man on Reddit kicked his parents out of his house after they displayed behavior toward his daughter that he tolerated as a child, so he turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
The Reddit user asked:
“AITAH for kicking my parent out and saying ‘this is why I was so f**ked up as a kid?'”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I had my parents over for dinner this weekend (60s), and after, my daughter (10) asked if she could play us a song she had been practicing on her keyboard (she gets lessons)”
“It wasn’t perfect, few missed notes, a couple of pauses, but she did really well.”
“She looked up at the end, massive smile, and I started clapping and my parents started f**king laughing.”
“Not just a little chuckle.”
“A massive f**king belly laugh.”
“Them both”
“My mom asked if it was her first time playing it, and my dad said it had to have been.”
“A dog could have played that better.”
“It was like my daughter was shrinking on the spot, and she looked down and said, ‘No, I’ve had 2 lessons, but doing it with 2 hands is hard,’ and they just laughed even f**king harder.”
“I just stood up, took their cups and said leave.”
“Now. My mom tried to say about how they hadn’t finished their drinks, they wanted to hear another song etc and said ‘get your stuff and get the f**k out of my house right now'”
“My dad started doing this huffing thing he does when someone dares to speak up to him, and my mom said that ‘there was no need to be like this.”
“That I can’t protect her all the time, and she is preparing my daughter for the real world.”
“I said ‘it’s not teaching the real world, they’re just nasty little bullies picking on children and sh*t like this is why I was so f**ked up as kid.”
“Now leave”
“They got their stuff and left.”
“I sat with my daughter and explained how proud of her I was and how well she was doing.”
“To ignore them.”
“They were just being cruel because they don’t know any other way to be and asked if she could please play it again, which she did.”
“On the Sunday, I messaged and said that until they can behave like decent human beings we’re taking a break away from them.”
“My dad replied that it was my choice, but he didn’t realise he raised me to be so precious”
“Now my lovely brown-nosing golden child of a sister is getting involved.”
“She phoned me today with my parent’s version of events, telling me that I was a ‘nasty piece of work’ and should never speak to my parents that way.”
“That I’m wrapping my child in cotton wool and blah blah blah.”
“I just told her to go f**k herself and hung up.”
“I’m not asking if I’m in the wrong for standing up for my daughter.”
“I’ll always do that.”
“But I did go pretty 0-100.”
“I kicked them out straight away.”
“I swore at them and in front of my daughter.”
“I did raise my voice at the end when I said leave.”
“I was and still am angry.”
“I don’t think I’d even accept an apology from them at this point.”
“This behaviour isn’t new, it’s decades old.”
“But this is the first time it affected my daughter.”
“Did I go too far? React too much?”
“Should I have tried to be calmer? Talk it out?”
“I dunno AITAH?”
OP offered some clarification after reading through a few comments.
“Lots of people think I’m a mom lol”
“Nope, single dad”
“Also, thank you all for your comments.”
“Def calming the anger I felt and making me feel less shit for the way I reacted”
Redditors weighed in on the situation and overwhelmingly agreed OP was not the a**hole (NTA) in the situation, but they think his parents certainly are.
“NTA, you’re a goddam hero.”
“If your parents think that’s an acceptable way to talk to a child, they had it coming.”
“Bullies always whine when the tables are turned.”
“At most, you might want to talk to your daughter about how they’ve always been like this & a confrontation was bound to happen.”
“She may blame herself, or wonder if you’ll yell at her like that someday.”
“Knowing there’s a history would help her understand.”
“At 10, she’ll have encountered bullies already, but may not know they don’t change when they grow up.” – 2PlasticLobsters
“NTA who laughs in a 10 year olds face when they are just starting to learn a new skill?”
“Their actions were out of line and uncalled for.”
“Protect your daughter.”
“Keep those horrible people far away from her.” – Think_Limit_8724
“NTA.”
“Your daughter is never going to forget you standing up for her.” – NeeliSilverleaf
“NTA. You are correct, they are ‘just nasty little bullies picking on children.'”
“What normal human would belittle a child’s attempt to perform for them?”
“I know three people who never need to darken your door again.” – Accomplished-Emu-591
“I’m so sorry you were raised by those people yet have not normalized their behavior.”
“NTA” – CaliforniaJade
“PROUUUUUD. OF. YOUUUUUU.”
“My parents have made me the butt of jokes for more than 50 years.”
“The only one who ever stood up for me was my late husband and it made me feel so safe with him.”
“Protect your baby girl. She’s only this age once.”
“Seeing you stand for her counteracts the BS bullying and lets her know she’s not alone.”
“Stellar parenting.” – WidowedWTF
“Nta protect your daughter and standing up for her was the most important thing you could’ve done.”
“My mom tried to bully my daughter at one point about vacation and said some nasty things.”
“I went NC with her for six months and are just starting to rebuild relationship.”
“My daughter and I have a good relationship, and I don’t force her to interact with grandma.”
“It was 4 years ago, and daughter still brings up occasionally.”
“Always protect the kids. Adults should not act that way” – crankthewhitepony137
“NTA – if my parents treated my kids that way, I would cut them out of my life.”
“Think about what they say to your daughter when you are not around?”
“I don’t think you want your daughter to experience what they put you through.” – swingerdbledown
“NTA . You were just being the Mama/Papa bear your daughter needs.”
“You had her back.”
“F*** them and their flying monkey” – Useful_Context_2602
“NTA – 0-100 is what was needed.”
“Anything less, and your daughter would be questioning her self-worth.”
“Do not let them destroy her as they destroyed you.”
“NC, f**k these immature, brain-broken people.”
“Your sister can be the one to care for them as dementia sets in a few years down the line and makes them even more horrible.” – Barracuda00
“NTA, so they expected her to perfect right out of the gate?”
“Like, who does that?”
“Who doesn’t encourage people at ALL ages when they start learning new skills?”
“Apparently your parents.”
“And yes, they are bullies.”
“I’m sure they are proficient at every new task they try.”
“I bet they are the type to tell professionals how to do their job and THEY could do it so much better.”
“Insufferable twits.” – MNConcerto
OP found comfort in his fellow Redditors messages and took the opportunity to share his gratitude as well as an update.
“I really appreciate all the comments.”
“Even the ones calling me mama bear lol”
“I never doubted I was in the right to stand up for my daughter. Just how I went about it.”
“I’m gonna sit and talk with my daughter about it all either tomorrow after school or on the weekend.”
“My parents and sister can just disappear for all I care rn.”
“To all the commenters that said they wish they had someone like me when they were younger, I get it man. I really do.”
“I hope you got someone now or are able to be that someone.”
“Reading all these comments def changed my anger into sadness/realization that I’m not alone with the sh*tty parents.”
“Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the comments guys (even the trolls, you were great)”
OP ultimately decided to delete his account due to the overwhelming response, but he once again thanked others on the platform for their kind words and advice.
“Really appreciate all the comments and dms.”
“But my phones going a bit mad with it all so I’m gunna delete the account.”
“I’m gunna keep the post up tho coz people have posted a bunch of links I’d like to look into this weekend”
“Thanks all”
We applaud this father for stepping up to advocate for his kid.