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Guy Called Out For Baking Girlfriend A Birthday Cake Instead Of Buying The Expensive One She Wanted

Sergei Solo/Unsplash

Most of us want to be made to feel special on our birthdays, but some people’s demands for their big day can go a bit overboard.

A woman on Reddit sparked this kind of drama with her boyfriend when her birthday requests strained his budget. She wasn’t sure about how she’d handled things, so she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.

The Original Poster (OP), who goes by _dissapointment_6 on the site, asked:

“AITA for being ‘ungrateful’ of the cake my boyfriend made me?”

She explained:

“I(33f[emale]) have been dating a man, ‘Alex’ (34m[ale]) for almost 3 years. Alex has a 13 year old daughter from a previous marriage that he has full custody of.”

“When we met Alex was doing very well, he made 6 figures and he had a decent house in a fine neighborhood. I had a slightly lower paying job. Almost a year and a half ago, his job had to cut some employees and he was one of them. He had to take on a job and he earned much less than he had before.”

“I moved into their house 5 months ago. Since I moved in I have helped a lot with the bills, usually half or more of them.”

“Yesterday was my birthday. I wanted to celebrate at a nice restaurant near us, however it was closed. There was another one a little closer to us, although it was more expensive.”

“I suggested going there for my birthday to Alex, and he said that he couldn’t afford to pay for dinner there and if we went we would need to split the bill. I was a little upset but he said he would make something himself.”

“The cake I wanted was, admittedly, somewhat expensive. I pointed it out to him, and he said again that he didn’t think he could afford it with Christmas coming up and we’d have to go half. I told him I wasn’t paying for a cake for my own birthday, and he said he’d see what he could do.”

“Well, yesterday came. He made dinner, and it was quite good, better than most meals we eat, although not as good as what it would be at a restaurant. However, when he brought the cake out it was just something he had made himself.”

“He said he was sorry he couldn’t afford the nicer cake but he had made this one and his daughter had helped.”

“I pretended to enjoy it but after I told him that I was hoping for a slightly nicer cake. He said he had tried his best and he couldn’t spend the money he had set aside for bills on a cake.”

“I guess his daughter heard because now he’s also saying that I made her upset after she helped make it.”

“He keeps saying I should apologize to her and say that I really liked it.”


Redditors were then asked to weigh in on who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Perhaps unsurprisingly, OP struck many of them as selfish, and they were not particularly sympathetic to her birthday plight.

“YTA, wow. You sound conceited and unappreciative of what you have. I would consider a homemade cake and meal much more of a heartfelt birthday gift than someone forking out $200 on me at dinner. You lucked out with this guy, but be careful because it sounds like you don’t realize it and soon enough he will end up with someone who does.” –EveningJellyfish1

“The boyfriend doesn’t deserve her.”

“He deserves much, much better. So does his daughter.”

“YTA times 100,000 (hope you like those 6 figures)” –blogsmcblogsalot

“My mind is blown that someone would complain about their SO making them a meal and a cake from scratch for their birthday!”

“OP clearly never read the AITA about the woman who had to cook EVERY meal, even special occasions…Except when her man treated them to Olive Garden because she loved it oh so much (spoiler: she did not).”

“Or a million other posts here where the person gets NOTHING dor their birthday. Here she is thinking she’s entitled to order her SO to pay for her whole birthday meal and fancy store bought cake. SMDH.” –EinsTwo

“I’d fall over myself if my bf made me a meal and cake for my birthday. It would taste so not great, he’s really not blessed with kitchen prowess but my god it would be super special.”

“OP, ya YTA. Should’ve been having great birthday sex with him later that night for his efforts. More fool you.” –Working-Impression75

“When I was reading this, I thought how sweet that was of him, how she really lucked out and I could only dream to find someone half as sweet. Then here’s OP complaining because it wasn’t expensive and up to her high standards.🤦‍♀️” –Bubbles033

“…My husband and I always make each other’s birthday cakes because it’s fun to see what we come up with for each other. It’s cake, who cares? Sounds like the partner tried his best to get it right on his limited budget.”

“OP if all you care about is how much money your partner spends on you, leave. YTA.” –MansonVixen

“She honestly sounds like a gold digger to me. I hope she’s not and this ends up being a wake up call that she needs to be better, or that she needs to leave because she’s only using him.” –KittyKittyKitten3

“omg a 33 year old bi*ching about a cake? When this is a responsible man, prioritizing his bills, providing for his child, and being an overall awesome guy.”

“sounds like you had no problem when buddy was making 6 figures but now that he’s an ‘average joe’ he’s below you? Let this man go, and sink your claws into the next walking bank account you find.”

“Edit: YTA who needs to remove their head from said AH…also your user name is fitting. You are a damn disappointment to this man.” –latefordinner__

Hopefully OP can learn to be a bit more appreciative in the future.

Written by Peter Karleby

Peter Karleby is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.