We all know that appearances can be deceiving.
This doesn’t just apply to people though, the visual representation of a thing seldom tells us much of anything about the thing itself.
Whether it’s an old rusted car that drives like a dream or a shiny computer that won’t even boot up, the outside has little to do with the inside.
That doesn’t mean the outside isn’t used for judgments though.
So what happens when the judgments are made about something vital to you – a pet perhaps – and those judgments threaten more than just your feelings.
That was the question facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) thowraepickitty452 when he came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for some outside opinions.
“AITA for having a “scary” kitty around children?”
OP began with the background.
“I (male, 27) have a cat named stargazer.”
“I adopted her around 3 years ago and she’s truly a little survivor.”
He explained the special nature of his pet.
“She was abused and as a result has no eyes and only 3 three legs.”
“Nobody wanted to adopt her because of her deformities and she’s also a black cat so I did bc she was gonna be euthanized otherwise.”
“My sister moved into my city this week and her and her husband (both 43) needed someone to watch the kids since they were gonna have a grown-up celebrate party.”
“I agreed. “
“Both my nieces are 11 so they’re not too little for me to handle and I’d also be great enrichment for my cat since she loves children and women (i’m the only man she trusts).”
“My nieces loved her and while they first were a little scared they thought she was cute after a while.”
Everything was fine, until…
“My sister went to pick them up and as the bell rang my cat went running also to the door and when my sister saw her she freaked out and started screaming.”
“My cat ran away due to the noise and my sister started yelling at me that I let my cat around her kids and saying she’s demonic.”
“The next day her husband called and said unless the cat goes I’ll never have them over again.”
OP was left to wonder:
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some pointed out that OP’s Sister was only hurting herself.
“Guess they just lost their free babysitter then.”
“Sucks to be them. They sound horribly judgemental snd what a lesson to teach little children “things that looks different are scary and demonic”
“I’m sorry you have such close-minded family.”
“Your cat sounds awesome and good on you for the reacue. I love black kitties and my mom’s cats both are missing one eye, I’ve had cats with three legs and a deaf cat.”
“They were all super awesome kitties.”
“NTA” ~ SpaceCrazyArtist
“OP does them a favor, and they have the gall to demand that he get rid of a beloved pet, or he won’t be allowed to do them any more favors?”
“In his own house? Do these people hear themselves, or does the screeching sound of their own entitlement drown out all rational thought?”
“I would love to be a fly on the wall the next time they ask him to babysit, and he tells them, ‘Sorry, but I can’t help you. You said I could never have the girls over again unless I got rid of my cat, and the cat’s still here, so…’ “ ~ nottakinitanymore
Commenters found their own first impressions challenged.
“Damn when you said ‘scary’ cat I assumed that you adopted a rescue with behavior issues (that of course deserve love as well and can be retaught, but takes time).”
“Not a sweet little girl who’s had a really rough life and deserves just as much love, pets, scratches and belly rubs as any other kitty out there.”
“You love her and your nieces love her, end of story.”
“Just remember your BIL and sister came to you for help. THEY asked YOU to babysit your nieces, you are doing them a favour and they are being r/choosingbeggers.”
“If Reddit has taught me anything they will come crawling back the next time they need a babysitter and that is when you tell them stargazer (love that name btw) is a non-negotiable part of your babysitting package.”
“Take it or leave it.” ~ SandBrilliant2675
“Same! I started with, she should at least put her dangerous cat in the other room, and ended with, wow her family are really some sad bitter people.”
“Who hates on a cat with a disability?” ~ DepartmentWide419
Of course, if we’re talking about cats there must be stories.
“Ralphie. Bug is his nickname.”
“He’s a Ragdoll cat, adopted him from two people who were getting moved to an underdeveloped country for work.”
“He is special needs so didn’t want to risk limited access to quality vet care. His prior humans named him and he responds to it.”
“So didn’t change since he’s dumber than a box of rocks and it would confuse him.” ~ Rumpelteazer45
“I’ll give mine too”
“Lived in a hoarding apt for her first 6 months(she was born there) and was anti-social when I got her but she likes me now.”
“Locked in a small cage on a floor for 2 years and wants attention to make up for lost time.” ~ Trueloveis4u
Others suggested taking precautions against his sister.
“Keep them FAR AWAY from your home while you have this kitty. People suck.”
“I have seen posts from people whose pets were endangered or worse, usually by a jealous or abusive significant other.”
“But if your sister and BIL were so hostile that they called you the next day to rant and order you around, I would not trust them as far as I could throw them.”
“Make sure they are nowhere near your cat, ever.”
“You are better off with the cat close by and those particular humans at a distance.”
“Visit them or agree to see them in public places.”
“Don’t even have the kids unsupervised around the kitty, since who knows what their parents are saying to them that might brainwash them into thinking they need to do something drastic.” ~ Either_Coconut
There was also concern about what lessons were being learned by the kids.
“What is OP’s sister teaching her kids about people who have disabilities, disfigurements, and have been in accidents?”
“The cat is a perfect example of learning that ‘different’ doesn’t mean bad…and the sister undid that lesson in one fell swoop.”
“Thanks for saving a cat like that, OP. Stargazer deserves to be happy!” ~ Oneiropolos
“I wonder what the sister’s reaction would be to me.”
“Profoundly hard of hearing, so wear 2 hearing aids (and still have much difficulty understanding speech unless the speaker faces me so I can lip read and doesn’t have a high pitched voice) wear glasses, and due to medical issues, use a walker with 2 wheels on the front.”
“Would she scream at me too! Hope not, since can get rather salty, and talk like a sailor to tell people about themselves and wouldn’t want to do that in front of two pre-teens.”
“They pick up that sh— um, crap and run with it!”
“ETA: and from your description I think I love your kitty.” ~ Wattaday
Commenters also suggested spite.
“Time to screw with the mom.”
” ‘Don’t say “demonic” around her, we don’t want her to realize we know.’ “
” ‘I never adopted her. I woke up one night and she was in my room even though the doors and windows were closed.’ “
” ‘If she wants something, give it to her. Don’t ever upset her, it can get bad.’ “
” ‘I tried to take her to the shelter. As soon as we walked in the door with her in a carrier, all the animals freaked out. Some of the dogs sounded like they were screaming. They refused to take her.’ “
” ‘I tried to take her out and dump her in the country. I walked out to the field and let her out of f the carrier.’ “
” ‘I came back to the car and she was sitting in the front seat, just staring at me even without eyes, just…staring. I felt like she was trying to decide if she was going to kill me or not.’ “
“If she’s gonna call a little rescue kitty that you saved “demonic” and through a nasty fit, RUN WITH IT.” ~maroongrad
Though some pointed out that it might have an effect on the cat.
“DON’T feed the crazy. Believe me.”
“They will take your stories, repeat the believable ones to anyone who will listen, and force themselves in the meantime to believe the unbelievable ones so they have more ‘justifiable’ hatred toward the cat.”
“It’s not safe.” ~ MothFaery
Appearances can be deceiving.
But actions rarely are.