The sad truth is that many humans in the USA have no idea how the human body works.
Sound bite after sound bite from everything from conversations around the dinner table to congressional hearings show us that men in particular don’t know anything about women’s bodies. However, that sometimes extends to women as well.
Redditor nothrowaways2386 faced a moment of uncomfortably confronting someone who may have had an idea of how the human body worked, but thought it was disgusting.
The interaction was so upsetting he took to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” (AITA) for feedback:
“AITA for FaceTiming my wife in the store?”
He was at Walgreens when shenanigans began:
“I 42M[ale] got a call from my wife 40F[emale] when I was getting off work and she asked me to pick her up some pads from the store. I asked her to send me a text with a picture of the ones she uses to make sure I got the right kind.”
“I get to Walgreens and I cannot find the kind she texted me so I FaceTimed her in the pad aisle and was showing her the section where her brand is to see if I could find another kind. About thirty seconds in a woman comes up to me and tells me I am being inappropriate and she was going to report me.”
“Mind you my wife is on video with me this entire time. I tell my wife to text me a backup pad that I could get for her and end the call.”
Our original poster, or OP, actually found that this woman had the completely wrong idea about what he was doing.
“Right as my wife is texting me, a man (store manager) and a female clerk come up to me with the woman behind them and he asks what I am doing and that he got a complaint that I was behaving inappropriately. I explained that I was there to buy pads for my wife and couldn’t find her brand.”
“I told him that since I didn’t see it, I called her on FaceTime.”
“The woman then starts shouting that I was taking pictures of her and I was lying. I showed the manager the texts from my wife and I told him I just wanted to get my wife her pads and leave.”
The store clerk helped OP find what he was looking for, but it was a stressful situation.
“The manger and the woman went up to the front of the store and the whole time she is screeching to him that he needs to call the police and have me arrested for being a pervert. The clerk stayed behind and asked if she could help me find what I needed.”
“I agreed. I showed her the box my wife texted me and they were out. She then said that this other pad in the same brand would work just as well.”
“I texted my wife a picture of the pads the clerk picked out and she said they were fine.”
OP was very upset by this entire incident.
“I paid for the pads and left. And when I got to the car I cried.”
“A grown man crying in his car.”
“I have never felt more embarrassed and humiliated in my life. When I told my wife what happened she went pale and hasn’t stopped apologizing to me.”
So he wants to know if he perhaps did something wrong:
“Was I [the a**hole] for FaceTiming? I don’t think I was doing anything wrong.”
“But is there some unspoken rule about the pad aisle I don’t know about?”
Redditors ascertained where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
People were kind of confused about how OP could think this was his fault to begin with.
“Oh, OP. There are so many grown men who won’t even buy menstrual products for their partners, and you went the extra mile for your wife and just happened to encounter a crazy person.”
“You’re not the a**hole at all. You’re what healed masculinity looks like. I am so sorry that happened to you. Please know how much this grown woman appreciates knowing that there are men like you in the world. We need more.”
“I hope you got a hug. Sending you one.”
“Also, someday, down the road, this is going to be a funny story. Not yet, I know….but someday, you will dine out on it. (When we can dine out again.)”~GalacticaActually
“NTA. In fact, thinking of Facetiming her to show her the choices available was both creative and kind. You’re a good man and husband, and that customer had a few screws loose. Saying you were videoing her? Had to be obvious you were talking to your wife. SMH”~farsical111
“NTA, that woman was out to start a fight. And just for the record? It’s totally okay for a grown a** man to cry, let alone after some messed up situation like this.”~EastLeastCoast
“Absolutely in agreement. Not only were you NTA, you were unjustly humiliated by someone who either grossly misunderstood what you were doing or was spoiling for conflict while you were doing your due diligence in caring for the needs of your wife. You don’t need a ‘good excuse’ to cry just because you’re a grown man, but even if you did, this is one of them.”
“You’re a human being, you were insulted and embarrassed, the myth of your masculinity being contingent on you stifling your natural emotional response to that is what leads to resentment and bitterness and the misconception that the only negative emotion appropriate for men to display is anger. Zero shame in the cry, the cry means you know what you’re about and acknowledge it as a human being, real grown ass men know what they’re about.”~TheBathCave
Folks are also pointing out that not only is OP not at fault, but he’s being a really solid husband for his wife.
“NTA in the slightest bit!! You were trying to help your wife, and that woman was so far out of line. There was absolutely NO reason for her to suspect that you were trying to take pictures or doing anything perverse.”
“I’m so sorry this happened to you, that lady obviously have issues she needs to deal with. Just know that you were in the right in this situation.”~immamoose-_-
“God no you were NTA! That woman screaming at you clearly has issues seeing a man actually stepping up and getting his wife personal care items before she’s immediately associating it with something creepy! I can understand why that would have been such a horrible experience for you and I’m so sorry that happened I’m furious on your behalf! I hope the store ejected that woman for harassment!”~Laurenmmcp
“NTA. That lady is whacked. Just read a story the other day on here where a dad called his daughter disgusting for making him buy her pads (she was 14!!). And here you are, taking care of your wife like a good husband and get accused of being a pervert. Wtf.”~movingon1200
“NTA – You had the bad luck to run into a woman who seriously has issues- and those issues have nothing to do with you.”
“A normal reasonable person would have found your explanation sufficient. A mildly paranoid person would have stopped after the manager looked at your phone and verified your story.”
“This gal was WAY out of line, unreasonable, and behaved badly.”~HowardProject
People lined up to tell OP how NTA he was.
“MAJOR NTA! My husband has gone to the store at 2 am to get pads for me before. You’d best believe if someone tried to make him feel like a creep in the store, I’d be calling him back on FaceTime until he picked up to screech back at her for making it even more uncomfortable for men to do something nice to their partner.”
“OP, telling you that you did nothing wrong probably isn’t enough to make it feel less bad that this happened to you, I’m sure it was a really jarring experience. Sending digital hugs and sympathy.”~one_sad_tomato
“Right?!? Like, this person definitely deserves Husband of the Month Award: not only is he NTA, but he had to deal with a paranoid lunatic of a woman while buying sanitary products!”
“Dude, women should salute you, and men should learn from your bravery that; a) you don’t get cooties from buying period products, and b); IF the clerk checking you out wonders if you are a trans man when you are buying these products, it doesn’t mean you aren’t manly.”~ReluctantVegetarian
OP is NTA. That much is clear.
And we’re glad that OP’s wife got her pads.