Battling cancer is already challenging enough on its own.
Add in the stigma of losing your hair due to the treatments, and things can get even more difficult.
But is there any instance where someone has the right to dictate how others should look while they’re recovering from cancer?
A Redditor recently ditched his brother’s wedding after his family made an insensitive request, so he turned to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) to see if he was in the wrong.
“AITA for not attending my brother’s wedding when he and mom wanted my girlfriend to do this?”
The original poster (OP) explained his girlfriend was recently treated for cancer.
“My M(ale)29 girlfriend 26F(emale) was diagnosed with breast cancer and it was one of the most devastating periods in my entire life. She’s the light of my life.”
“We’ve known each other for 6 years and hopefully we’re planning on spending the rest of our lives together.”
“Treatment was difficult. She started losing her hair after she started her treatment. She’s incredibly confident and it never occurred to her to wear a wig during/after her treatment.”
The OP’s girlfriend decided she liked her new look, so she stuck with it.
“Her hair grew back again. But she chose to keep her look from when she was receiving treatment saying it’s become part of her personality and it gives her strength just like it did in the past.”
“She’d shave whenever her hair grows. She’s not even bald. She does have very short hair and it really highlights her beautiful round eyes.”
“She even found a new style with her clothes that match with her new look.”
But the OP’s family didn’t care for the new look, and it sparked some controversy due to the OP’s brother’s impending nuptials.
“Although my family seemed uncomfortable with her new look. Especially my mom who asked why she won’t let her hair grow since she was done with her treatment.”
“I asked them to respect her and stop brining it up.”
“My brother’s wedding was last week. My mom pulled me aside and asked if my girlfriend already has a wig and if not she should get one to wear at my brother’s wedding.”
“I was taken aback. My brother seemed to agree. He kept huffing while I explained that it’s up to my girlfriend and whatever makes her comfortable.”
“My brother asked if I was serious. He claimed she’s probably trying to take attention away from him and his fiancée.”
When the OP made it clear he wouldn’t be attending without his girlfriend, the drama only escalated.
“I told them my girlfriend has no intentions on wearing a wig for any reason, period. They said fine, expecting me to come without her. But I refused.”
“Mom argued about how I’m going to make them the topic of gossip between guests. Called me stubborn and that I have to come since people with ‘class’ we’re coming.”
“I refused. And spent the day with my girlfriend making food, watching a movie and having some time alone.”
“The minute I turned my phone on, I got several calls and texts from the family calling me horrible, selfish, attention seeker etc. Saying I disrespected my brother and his wife and all my family.”
“Cussed me out and guilted me for not coming. I felt like it was a big deal since my uncles berated me too and I just felt bad.”
Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
They assured the OP he was NTA for sticking up for his girlfriend.
“It sounds like you were uninvited for shallow reasons, and that’s what you can tell anyone who’s confused. NTA.”—bertiek
“NTA. Warms my heart to see dudes standing up for their SO. ❤️”—smashmag