You’re either a cat lover or you’re not.
Unfortunately, there is a couple that clashes when it comes to their stance on being smitten with kittens.
A man’s said that his wife “rescued” a cat and since then, things haven’t been the quite harmonious between them.
When things reached a boiling point, he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
Thre, Redditor First-Park1413 asked:
“AITA For telling my wife she can either sleep with the cat locked in with her or get rid of him?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My wife ‘rescued’ a cat a year ago. He is the most frustratingly annoying creature on the planet.”
“He screams for attention 24/7. He does not allow us to do anything without his input. I haven’t slept through once since we got him. He wails all night, incessantly.”
“He’s cost us thousands of dollars in vet bills and behaviorists trying to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it.”
The OP continued:
“Ultimately, he’s an orange cat, and apparently, they’re prone to being a**holes. He’s healthy and has all of his needs met. He’s treated better than most cats.”
“I am at my wits end. He wants wet food 24/7, and he screams all night until someone gives in and feeds him. He has kept me awake for hours.”
“If he’s not screaming he’s scratching at the wall or door. He just stands there, scraping his feet against the wall, staring into my soul.”
The OP didn’t hold back on their true feelings about the cat
“I was a single father for the first seven years of my son’s life, and let me tell you, working 14-hour days and coming home to a colicky newborn was easier than whatever f’king torture methods this cat is trained in.”
“I want rid of the cat. My wife knows how hard he is and doesn’t think he’ll be adopted so doesn’t want to give him up. At this point, I do not care.”
An ultimatum was presented.
“I told her she can either move into the garage with him at night and deal with him solo or we can get rid of him. But I refuse to suffer any longer because this fat orange cat can’t survive an hour without a meal.”
“My wife is pretty upset – we took on the responsibility of a cat together, and we should keep looking for solutions together. She shouldn’t have to suffer solo just because she doesn’t want him to end up on some euth list. I do not care. I am exhausted.”
“My kids think I’m evil but also refuse to do anything to help with the cat, so I’m not super keen on listening to them.”
“My son, upon hearing about my dilemma, asked me to post it here. I’m happy to hear any and all judgments, so why not?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“NTA. You are at your wit’s end, and it’s clear that something must change. But before you accept a euthanasia solution for this orange oligarch, consider an intermediate solution.”
“Make a nice little area with water, food, litter box and a comfy bed for him in the garage. Be kind to him and feed him well during the day, and put him with some provisions, in the garage at night. Away from you both and the kids. Get him in the morning. Keep to the same times each day. Treat him well, but make it clear that this is a permanent schedule.”
“He will complain. Your wife and kids will complain. But you deserve the opportunity to have peace and a full night’s rest, and it’s not cruel to the cat.” – Euphoric_Travel2541
“To this, I would add that I play with the cat during the day. Laser, flirt pole, cat hamster wheel, something. I wonder if he’s just bored and eating is the only interesting thing that happens during the day.” – not_tellingu
“The other issue is when you give into it crying for food, you’ve just reinforced this bad behaviour and the cat will double down if you ignore it next time because ‘do you not hear me’.”
“You need to create a routine for the cat. Meals at predictable times. Smaller meals more frequently if you need and gradually get it to something predictable like morning midday bedtime (if you have to weight manage this cat).”
“Predictable play times. Predictable walk time if the cat takes to harness training. Do your best to clear your energy and bond , let him come to you and don’t punish or reject him. The more secure he feels the less he will act out in anxiety.”
“He may have had outdoor access previously and may be having a hard time adjusting to indoor life. An enclosed safe catio or vertical wall perches may give him some relief.” – ReadIllustrious4580
“I had an orange cat whose behavior changed over time into what you’re describing. He was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism (thus the need to eat at 4 am … .and then a couple months later at 2am and waking me up by trying to eat my hair…).”
“His case wasn’t treatable, and he was literally starving. We had to put him down. During his illness, which lasted well over a year, I didn’t sleep through the night, and I didn’t realize the impact until after he was gone.”
“It had practically driven me crazy. Get the cat checked for hyperthyroidism, and make sure you’re feeding him enough. Good luck. NTA.” – Separate_Print_1816
“NTA I wonder if your wife realizes that the cat has trained the two of you to feed him every hour. Clearly the wailing and crying is working for him!”
“An animal behaviorist should have told the two of you a long time ago to give the cat two reasonable portions of a nutritious cat food per day and remove uneaten food until the next meal no matter how much he carries on.”
“With some tough love you could have gotten this behavior under control if you’d started right away. However, it’s clear that you’re now at your wit’s end and need sleep, and a less stressful home situation. And you’ve tried many things that didn’t help.”
“Therefore getting rid of the cat is the right thing. However, I suggest that looking for a cat rescue that might be able to rehome the cat would be the most humane solution.” – Leading-Knowledge712
“Nailed it with the cat having trained the people! I was going to say the same- he’s like a toddler throwing a tantrum. He’s realized now that the more he carries on, the more likely you’ll give in and feed him. So you have to break the habit of getting up to feed him in the night somehow, either via timed feeder, the above suggestion, or a good old fashioned squirt bottle.”
“My cats started yowling at 4am to be fed (breakfast is between 6 and 7) for a few months until we figured out that a) they were literally manipulating us into feeding them earlier and earlier and b) if we split their kibble rations up to be morning and night they waited until a reasonable hour to come bap my face. OP may be able to solve this if they just break kitty of the habit.” – It_stimefortea
“NTA – As someone with a cat that has a very loud, very horrific sounding meow that used to wake me up multiple times a night… I totally empathize. We ended up putting him in our downstairs laundry room (with a cat tree, bed, litter box, water, treats, toys) right before we go to sleep and we let him out first thing in the morning. Can you do something like that?” – Complete-Design5395
“NTA, but if you were a tiny bit of an AH, it’d be for trying to turn this into a ‘me versus the wife, I’m not suffering so she should’ mentality as opposed to cooperative (what if we try a catio, what if we make him a nice spot in the garage or basement as others have suggested). Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, everyone deserves a good night sleep.”
“I’d suggest apologizing for your part ‘hey, I’m sorry for the way that came off. I’m not mad at you, just beside myself at the situation and frustrated when it feels like my needs aren’t being heard. But shoving you off into the garage was never going to make you feel like I was looking for anything but punishment, and that’s not going to be helpful here. I should have taken more time to calm down so we could communicate.’ “
“If that goes well and no one’s being dismissive or throwing low blows, restate your own needs ‘I was hoping you could agree to work on alternatives if you don’t feel comfortable with his odds at a shelter. And if I feel like my needs are considered last, I’d like to be able to pause the convo.’ “
“Then, make it clear y’all are on the same team, ‘I had some ideas for how we could make him a home in the garage; maybe you and I can get a babysitter and spend a night out’, and open it up to her. ‘Did you have any ideas for [name of orange menace] you wanted to talk about?’ “ – friendly-skelly
Pet owners continued offering suggestions that might help alleviate some of the stress in the situation.
Hopefully, the OP will be able to reach a compromise to prevent further resentment.
Cat owners, what wisdom would you impart to the OP, or what would you do if you were in his shoes?