A child’s unbridled imagination can be a wonderful thing, but when it leads to the destruction of private property, it’s time to put some limits on their creativity.
A suburban homeowner whose neighbor’s child has decided to excavate their yard turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
TripleDigitMan asked:
“AITA for not letting my neighbor’s kid ruin my lawn in the name of imagination?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I live in a quiet suburban neighborhood with your standard backyard, some grass, a few old trees, a weathered shed. Nothing fancy, but I try to keep it tidy.”
“I’m on polite-but-not-close terms with most neighbors. We wave, sometimes chat about the weather, and that’s about it.”
“There’s a family two doors down with a boy who’s maybe 9 or 10. Lately, he’s gone full pirate mode.”
“I mean fully committed. Eyepatch, cardboard sword, yelling ‘ye be cursed’ at squirrels. Honestly? Pretty wholesome.”
“At first.”
“Then I started noticing small holes in my yard. Just little ones near the fence. I assumed it was raccoons.”
“But then the holes got bigger. One morning, I went out and found the ground behind my shed completely torn up, with clumps of grass tossed around and a ‘map’ pinned to the tree with a stick.”
“Eventually I caught him out there mid-dig. I asked him what he was doing and he straight up said, ‘I’m hiding my treasure. No one must know. This is the perfect hiding spot’.”
“I told him calmly, ‘Hey, this is my yard. You can’t dig here’.”
“He got a little huffy but ran off. I figured that was the end of it.”
“Nope.”
“Next day, there’s a new hole. Bigger. A tin lunchbox half-buried behind the shed.”
“I dig it up, and it’s full of Pokémon cards, fake jewels, toy coins, and a few crumpled five-dollar bills. I bring it to his mom and explain what’s going on.”
“She immediately gets defensive. No apology. Just a heavy sigh and a ‘Wel,l he’s just using his imagination. I think it’s sweet’.”
“I told her I didn’t mind the creativity, just not in my yard. She rolled her eyes and said, ‘Can’t you just let him have this? It’s not like your grass is that nice anyway’.”
“That one actually stunned me.”
“I said, as politely as possible, that I didn’t want holes being dug on my property by someone else’s kid. I handed over the box and left.”
“That night, she sends a long text telling me I humiliated her son, crushed his imagination, and ‘created an environment where children can’t feel safe being children’.”
“She said he cried for over an hour and now thinks I’m ‘the villain in his story’. Her words.”
“I didn’t reply.”
“I get it, he’s a kid. I didn’t yell, I didn’t shame him, and I even gave the stuff back. But I’m not thrilled about my yard being turned into a sandbox and getting insulted for not being okay with it.”
“So… AITA for drawing a line and not entertaining a pirate storyline that involved my yard getting wrecked?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“Action I took: I told a neighborhood child he was not allowed to dig holes in my yard, and I returned a buried box of his toys and cards to his mother. I explained calmly that while I appreciated his imagination, I didn’t want him using my yard as a digging spot.”
“Why I think I might be the a**hole: His mother was very upset and said I humiliated her son, crushed his creativity, and made him feel unsafe. She said he cried for over an hour and now sees me as the villain in his story.”
“I didn’t want to upset anyone, but I also didn’t want to allow damage to my property. I’m questioning whether I handled it too firmly or if I should have just let it go for the sake of keeping peace.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP wwasnot the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. His mom needs to teach him to respect others’ property. You don’t get to do whatever the hell you want as a kid in the name of ‘using your imagination’.”
“Maybe he should use his imagination to pretend that he buried his treasure in your yard while actually leaving it intact. I think that would be a more constructive use of it.”
“His mom is on the hook for teaching her kid to channel his creative impulses into productive endeavors, not destructive ones.”
“When he grows up unable to properly establish relationships, he’ll realize that his problems stem from the fact that he was never taught to respect others. When that time comes he’ll see that his mom is the actual ‘villain in his story’.” ~ SomeoneYouDontKnow70
“When my adult neighbor and his buddy decided to throw a football under my tree in the front yard, it was because ‘it’s better under the shade’. I said stop, he continued.”
“So my sister and I got a six-pack and hung out on his front lawn with a radio and listened to music, singing with the radio. He said stop. I said we liked the sun and we’ll continue. You know, like you like my shade tree!”
“He stopped, we stopped.”
“Sometimes someone has to experience their own behavior done back to them before it gets understood. It shouldn’t be that way, but many times that’s the only way they’ll see it.” ~ katwagrob
“OP…NTA. Mom is handling this totally wrong.”
“I wasn’t a pirate…I was Indiana Jones slashing my way thru the jungle—aka the corn field we rented to Mr Milton.”
“My dad found my jungle path. He made me apologize to Mr Milton and pay him the market rate for the 5 bushels of corn I chopped down out of my allowance.”
“I never did that again, and 50 years later, I still remember that lesson.” ~ LvBorzoi
“Mom needs to imagine what the inside of small claims court looks like.” ~ vwscienceandart
“Also, it’s a liability concern for OP to allow the neighbor kid to play on & dig up their yard. What if the kid trips in one of the holes he dug or otherwise hurts himself in the process of digging?”
“If so, then OP could be facing an injury claim—and given the neighbor mom’s attitude, she seems just the type to blame OP & make a stink if her kid were to get hurt on OP’s property.”
“In fact, I would suggest OP put it in writing to the parents that their yard if off limits to the kid, & probably consider posting a couple no trespassing signs as well.”
“And, obviously, NTA OP.” ~ SunnyBunnyHopHop
“Save those texts. Kids are kids. They do dumb sh*t, and sometimes it’s destructive. That is where their parents are supposed to come in. Unfortunately, his are not willing to be parents.”
“If you reported this before talking to his mom, authorities would have just told them to knock it off.”
“Since you have proof you brought the issue to her attention, the mom can be in trouble if the kid continues to trespass.”
“It might be smart to contact the non-emergency police line now and ask about making a report. ‘This kid is causing damage to my property, and I am potentially liable if they hurt themselves. Their mom is not taking the situation seriously. I don’t want to press charges or anything now, but I do want it on record that the parents have been informed to keep their kid off of my property’.”
“If you can, get some cameras up. NTA.” ~ TogarSucks
“Yeah, definitely a good idea to keep those texts. The mom isn’t taking it seriously, and if the kid keeps sneaking in, OP could end up dealing with an even bigger headache.”
“Setting boundaries isn’t rude, it’s just common sense. Might be worth getting it on record now before it escalates.” ~ Extension_Log2887
“NTA…You didn’t cross any boundaries. He did. When a kid oversteps, you inform their parents, and they have a teaching moment with their child. You have every right to enjoy your property , even if she’s an ineffective parent.” ~ RoyallyOakie
“The sense of entitlement is just so gross to me. It’s kind of like saying my kid likes your car more than mine so I’m gonna start using your car.”
“It’s your property, you do what you want with it. If it’s not her property, she gets zero say in what happens to it case closed. The nerve of some people is just crazy!” ~ SassyPikachuu
“NTA. Some parents really are firmly in the ‘it takes a village’ mindset, but moreso, ‘the entire village should love and entertain my child’.”
“Nope. I mean, might you engage in some ‘aarrgh matey’ talk with him? Sure! but letting him dig on your property? There is literally no need for that.”
“I encourage you to dig a hole on HER property and tell her you are burying his treasure for him. She should be totally cool with that.” ~ LiveKindly01
“There’s a saying that’s perfect for this: ‘It’s OK you cast me as the villain in your story.
Because you’re the clown in mine’.” ~ MohawMais
As many pointed out, safety and liability are issues here that supersede the neighbor’s sense of entitlement.
For OP’s own sake, they need to put a stop to the scourge of this lawn pirate.