Most adults know and understand that humans are scientifically classified as animals. In the old-school lingo, naturally occurring things are "animal, vegetable, or mineral," and most people aren't veggies or rocks, despite how they act.
Specifically, humans are scientifically classified as:
- Domain: Eukaryota (organisms with complex, membrane-bound cells)
- Kingdom: Animalia (multicellular, mobile animals)
- Phylum: Chordata (animals with a notochord or backbone)
- Class: Mammalia (warm-blooded vertebrates with hair/fur and mammary glands)
- Order: Primates (mammals with opposable thumbs and forward-facing stereoscopic vision)
- Family: Hominidae (great apes, including humans, chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans)
- Genus: Homo (bipedal hominids with larger brains and tool-making abilities)
- Species: Homo sapiens
However, some people reject this classification because they think it's a judgment on their perceived supremacy of humans over all other inhabitants of Earth. Resistance to classifying humans as animals, mammals, or primates is prevalent in some science-denying religious sects in the United States.
A woman who ran afoul of a mother at a kid's birthday party turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Goldencain1410 asked:
"AITA for 'parenting' someone else's kid by saying 'I'm a mammal'?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (36, female) was at a children's birthday party this past weekend. My best friend's daughter turned 6 and invited her whole class to a public park for games and cake. I showed up wearing a long-sleeved, knee-length dress, which is relevant."
"I've been really busy at work for the past week—'only 3-4 hours of sleep' type busy—so I had the energy to shower before the event, but I didn't bother shaving my legs. I'm not growing a national forest or anything, but the hair is visible if you look closely."
"Personally, I don't care, my husband doesn't care, and I didn't think any of the children/parents would either."
"At one point, I was sitting on a folding chair by the snacks table with my legs crossed, and a little boy wandered over. He was more interested in the snacks than me, so I didn't pay it any mind, but eventually he approached, pointed at my legs, and asked, 'Why do you have hair there?'."
"I wasn't prepared for questions, and honestly I had no interest in discussing this with a kindergartener. So I settled on, 'Because I'm a mammal,' and left it at that. The little boy looked kinda confused for a second but then said, 'Okay,' and zoomed off."
"I don't really know what happened from there, but my guess is he asked his parent(s) what a mammal is and then explained where he heard that word, because the next thing I knew, his mom stomped over. And I know it was his mom because her only introduction was, 'What the hell are you trying to teach my son?' To which I replied, 'Nothing. What? Sorry?'."
"She said, 'You should be sorry, because it was really inappropriate for you to try to parent my kid.' I immediately said, 'I wasn't trying to do anything of the sort,' but she replied, 'It's not your place to tell him right from wrong. And for the record, I have three kids and still manage to shave my legs every single day. What's your excuse?'."
"Which I guess was a dig at the fact that I don't have children? I was the only person there who wasn't a parent to one of the kids, so I guess I stood out."
"I probably shouldn't have replied the way I did, but I said, 'Congrats on your dolphin smoothness. It's genuinely impressive you have that kind of energy.' Then I got up and left without really listening to what she said next."
"I found my best friend and told her what happened. She was 50-50 on if I should have just kept the peace or not and asked me to avoid that lady/her children for the rest of the party, which I did."
"I don't know what I think about all this, so I'm asking you, AITA?"
Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
"NTA, that mom had no right to come at you like that." ~ Fiona_71170
"I'm still not sure what that lady's problem was. Is it wrong to be a mammal?" ~ Disastrous-Wing699
"Many young earth creationists do not consider humans to be animals. If she's going to pick a fight with anyone who says otherwise, that seems pretty counterproductive." ~ ImpressivePlatypus0
"Probably one of those people who haven't yet received the news that humans are animals, too, and think we are some extra special creation... Some people have somehow missed the last couple of hundreds of years of scientific discoveries." ~ ThrowWeirdQuestion
"It reminds me of an event that mystified me for a long time. I was at my babysitter's house after school, and telling her daughter all about the dinosaurs I'd learned about in class that day. All of a sudden, the babysitter swoops in and tells me to stop lying to her kid."
"She didn't get any more specific than that, so I thought for a long time that I'd related a dinosaur fact incorrectly. It wasn't until I was an adult, and was made aware that some people didn't hold with the fact of their existence, that it all clicked into place. At least I wasn't wrong about dinosaurs." ~ Disastrous-Wing699
"No, it's wrong to treat women like equals and she doesn't want her boy getting any ideas that genders don't have specific roles and looks that must be adhered to." ~ sleepyj910
"Exactly, what if her boys grow up to think that a woman can just exist without spending hours every day making herself visually pleasing to men?" ~ Child_of_the_Hamster
"Yeah, I think her issue was more along the lines of worrying that OP was trying to normalize women having hairy legs. Which is normal, because we are mammals, and women absolutely do not have to shave their legs! But many women who feel self-conscious about maintaining their appearance tend to project that onto other women and become really upset at the mere suggestion that they don't actually need to shave/wear makeup/etc..." ~ tonicella_lineata
"The correct answer to the boy’s question, according to his mom, would be to explain that her legs are hairy because she has failed at femininity, which also explains why she doesn’t have kids, and then praise him for being such a smart and perceptive boy." ~ underboobfunk
"Mammal is an unfamiliar word to her that came from a situation where gendered beauty norms weren’t being strictly adhered to = liberal gay agenda indoctrinating children." ~ EasternAd9212
"She doesn't know what a mammal is and felt dumb." ~ invisigirl247
"Probably a combination of not knowing what a mammal is, having a lot of stress over keeping up her dolphin smooth appearance, and being upset when she realizes that some people don't care about such things and are still fine, life goes on, the sun still rises and sets, and nobody dies." ~ Whispering_Wolf
"I bet she doesn’t actually know what a mammal is and thinks they meant they were a furry." ~ FitsOut_Mostly
"NTA what are you supposed to do? Just ignore any kid that tries to talk to you?" ~ whatisakafka
"I guess OP shouldn't tell children such controversial things like animal classes. Or the evolution theory. Wouldn't want those children growing up to know natural sciences, or God forbid, get vaccinated!" ~ Adventurous_Storm356
"If OP wouldn't have acknowledged the kid at all, the mom STILL would've stomped over there. I literally pictured a child when that woman stomped over there to OP."
"I personally believe NTA for OP. Simply because I don't think she said anything rude. She answered the question in a way to prevent the 20-question session from the kid."
"At the end of the day... people are going to be people. They will complain about ANYTHING. They also will start a confrontation about ANYTHING."
"Also... kids are going to be kids. They ask questions—that's just how they are. That's how they learn.
"Although if the kid is acting rudely in any way... to me... that's the kid's parents' fault for the response they receive. Ask rudely, you will receive the response rudely. Kids have to learn somehow." ~ Kiki_515
"Yeah, parenting would be telling the kid that he was being rude and then not answering the question. NTA, OP." ~ alex3omg
"NTA. Giving children factual information after they ask a question is not 'parenting'."
"This reminds me of when I was learning this information as a kid and asked my very bald grandfather if he was a mammal." ~ Environmental-Ad1247
One Redditor asked the really important question:
"INFO: Are you, in fact, a mammal? I am SO SICK of reptiles posting on Reddit to get likes." ~ revdj
To which OP replied:
"Of course I am! . . . *skitters away*"
"Skittering is a reptile move, we're going to need a warm-blood check." ~ Realistic_Powers
"Hairy legs? Don't you fricking lie to us. YOU'RE A SPIDER!" ~ KohShiki
"How many eyes do you have!" ~ Tante_Krampus
"I'm willing to give OP the benefit of the doubt...maybe they are a platypus." ~ WhimsicalKoala
"Do not get distracted! The likelihood of OP being a member of the platypod is suspiciously low. A lot of the reptilian ilk pretend to be platypusses, but then their IP address clearly shows they're on a rock under the heat lamp." ~ PhatCatTax
OP may or may not be a mammal, but whether they're a human or one of our clandestine reptilian overlords or an alien spiderwoman, they still didn't tell the child anything but the basic facts.
Humans are hairy because we're mammals.
At least most of us.
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