We’ve all been through an experience at some point where someone we know shares more than we’re interested in hearing.
We might do what we can to help, but at some point, it feels like enough is enough.
But sometimes we’re just being impatient, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor PretentInstance1532 was fed up with her mother’s exhaustion and crying after having a baby and decided to be blunt with her about her behavior.
But when her mother stopped speaking to her or her father, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was too harsh.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my mom she is too old to be crying about a man?”
The OP was tired of her mother’s recent behavior.
“My (15 Female) mother (37 Female) had a baby six months ago and she has been acting very sensitive about everything.”
“It has been really annoying for me but I have tried to be tolerant with her.”
“The issue is that yesterday when I was hungry and wanted to order a pizza, I found my mom in her room crying.”
“It is not weird for her to cry, she has been very emotional, but this was different. She was really crying in a very intense way.”
The OP’s mother shared what had happened.
“I asked her what happened and she told me.”
“She said after putting the baby to sleep, she went to see my dad and tried to kiss him.”
“But he didn’t let her because he said she smelled like baby puke and that he was busy working.”
The OP openly criticized her mother.
“I became frustrated with my mom.”
“She was a grown woman crying because of a man not kissing her, it is so dumb. I haven’t kissed anyone yet. Should I be crying all day?”
“I told her that I was hungry and asked her to be more mature.”
“I just said she needs to start acting more like an adult again.”
“She has been distant since that moment, barely talking to me or dad.”
“I think that maybe I was too harsh on her, but I was just being honest because I am tired of her acting like this.”
“Am I the A**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP’s mother deserved much better treatment than she was getting.
“I came to say that OP and her dad are both being cold-hearted. That doesn’t mean they’re cold-hearted in all aspects of life, but in regard to OP’s mom, they definitely are.” – lisa111998
“It really doesn’t sound like OP realizes just how young her mom really is. The late thirties isn’t that old, especially when you spent your twenties raising a child.”
“And you’re never too old to have your heart broken by being treated cruelly by both your partner and your child.” – calliatom
“Why bother the mother when she’s upset? OP could go to the dad. Is the mom the only person who can provide meals? Just because her body can feed the baby doesn’t mean she’s the only one who can feed the oversized babies in the house.” – JessiFay
“I’m 37, and when I cry, my kids comfort me. Even when it’s silly. A song reminded me of my grandfather recently, and I cried, and my kids told me it was okay, and they knew how much I missed him.”
“Does OP have some kind of condition where she doesn’t feel empathy for others? It would legitimately scare me to see a person speak to another person like this… like goosebumps watching someone who seems to lack human emotions.” – crystallz2000
“I have empathy problems sometimes (autistic) and get easily overwhelmed and angry when people are emotional.”
“One time, I got annoyed and upset at my mother crying once. I don’t remember what it was about, I think she was sick? This was when I was likely around OP’s age.”
“Know what I didn’t do? Tell her to stop crying. I stood awkwardly and silently holding her hand because I didn’t want to blow up over something unreasonable to blow up over. Because I f**king knew better.”
“OP may have a lack of empathy but she should know better for sure. Lacking empathy is no excuse to be an a**hole and a brat.” – HiQueerbert
“Right before turning 37 last year, I had a baby. If the man who supposedly loved me denied me giving him a kiss of affection because I smelled like the puke from OUR BABY I JUST SPENT ALL DAY KEEPING ALIVE, YOU’RE WELCOME, I’d probably be crying too.”
“This 15 yo sounds exactly like what tv shows think 15-year-olds are like.”
“I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to ever get upset or be affected by having a baby now that I’m my old old age. Did you know women are at risk of developing PPD and PP-PSYCHOSIS up to THREE YEARS after birth?” – MaximumGooser
“I have a 14-year-old who is a d**k sometimes like all kids, and a baby. My oldest would never leave me crying, especially sobbing like the OP described. I was just told by my neighbors last night what a sweet kind compassionate kid she is.”
“OP needs to realize they aren’t the center of the universe. Even if and especially because mom may have treated them as such, and then this new devil baby came along and stole their pizza-making slave.”
“Grow the f**k up. Make your mom a godd**n pizza and help out.” – Initial-Promotion-17
“YTA majorly. Your mother grew a human being in her body AND PUSHED IT OUT. Her body is a mess, she has a crying child, a distant husband, and a snotty-a** teenager.”
“She is hormonal and probably dealing with postpartum depression. Of course she’s crying.”
“You and your dad are the ones who need to grow up and start acting ‘mature.’ Stop being so godd**n judgmental and help her out.” – frick298
Others agreed and scolded the OP for not being more independent at the age of 15.
“No one is ever too old to have feelings or express their emotions.”
“But you’re too old to need your mom to spoon-feed you pizza while you turn up your nose at her distress.”
“Give your mum a kiss and go ask your dad to make you a snack, and perhaps you can both go on an adventure to look for a working heart. YTA.” – could_not_care_more
“At 15, I was making supper for my little brother because my parents were working to pay the bills. She has no excuse to make a snack.” – Quirky_Routine_90
“I was cooking/cleaning for a family of 5 starting at 11. I was making my own lunch to take to school from age 6.”
“I can’t imagine barking at my mother to make me a snack at 15, I would have had the bejesus smacked out of me.”
“But do you blame this entitled and spoiled girl or the parents who raised her to be this way?” – SammyLoops1
“Seriously, I made my own lunch and dinner every day from 12 on. I was definitely neglected, but OP is definitely coddled. Teenagers have the ability to make a sandwich.”
“If you want to talk about acting mature, can you grow up enough to put on a pot of rice, chop some veggies, and make dinner? It’s not hard. Grow up and stop bugging your mom for everything.” – EarlAndWourder
“Even given the level of obtuse selfishness that might be expected in a 15-year-old, I feel like OP should be able to at least dimly intuit that, ‘I guess he’s not into me’ is a different realm of sorrow and pain if you’re talking about the cute guy who smiled at you once in chemistry class vs. the father of your new baby with whom you share a home and life, J***s.” – NotAllOwled
Some even wondered if the OP was jealous of the baby.
“There’s nothing more narcissistic than a teenager who believes their parents didn’t exist before they were born.” – DingosTwinZoot
“OP is definitely too old to a) not be able to feed themselves and b) be jealous of their baby sibling.” – babygirlruth
“YTA. Your mom is almost certainly suffering from perinatal depression or anxiety, and your father is being WILDLY and INAPPROPRIATELY dismissive of her.”
“Plus, you’re taking after him. You’re supporting… your neglectful father? Not your mother who needs help?”
“You are young, I get it, and it must be hard to have a baby around when you’re 15.”
“But I sure hope you understand that your father is being cruel to your mother and your mother needs to see a doctor. Convince your father that your mother needs care and help, and push until he listens. If he won’t, go to your mom and offer to babysit while she goes to a doctor.” – BeholdMySideAccount
While the OP insisted she was fed up with her mother’s behavior and wanted her to act like an adult, the subReddit insisted she set the same standards for herself. Not only had her mother just had a baby, but it seemed from the post that she was not receiving support during a particularly difficult time in her life. The least the OP could do is grow up enough to order a pizza by herself.