With a viral pathogen creating a worldwide pandemic, many people are working from home (WFH) for the first time.
As such, there are some growing pains as they get used to their new workplace. One woman thought she had it figured out until her husband voiced his unsolicited opinion.
The dust up that ensued sent the wife to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for some perspective.
Redditor dressupthrowaway asked:
“AITA for not dressing up for work?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband, 39 M[ale], and I, 37 F[emale], are in an argument right now.”
“I am currently [working from home] (WFH) and will be most likely until next year for obvious reasons. I work for a large law firm as a paralegal.”
“Since I have been working from home, I am not dressing professionally with full makeup and hair and all of that jazz. I typically wear jeans and a sweater or leggings and a sweater with more casual hair and no makeup.”
“If I have meetings with the attorneys or clients, I will wear jeans and a button down top/blouse or sweater and put on a full face of makeup and hair.”
“Today when my husband got home from work, he saw that I was wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt. I had no meetings today, and I just wanted to be comfortable.”
“He asked me if that is what I wore to work and I said yes. He then asked why I wore such sloppy clothes to work in.”
“I explained that I didn’t have any meetings today and that again, I just wanted to be comfortable while I was working.”
“He told me that working from home is no excuse to dress like a slob and that I should be embarrassed to look like that while I was working. I told him that his comments were unnecessarily hurtful and mean and that it didn’t matter what I was wearing to work, as long as I was actually working, which I was.”
“I told him that what I wear when I work from home is none of his business and as long as my job performance is not suffering, which it is not, then he should back off about it.”
“I told him that I see nothing wrong with what I am wearing or how I look when I am in my own home and nobody sees me. That if I was in the office, I would dress like I always did, but I am not so I will dress like this while I remain working from home.”
“He’s now angry with me and says that I am being unreasonably stubborn and is now requiring I apologize for being rude to him since he was ‘only making a suggestion’.”
“I told him I refuse to apologize because he was being very mean and his comments were hurtful.”
“So AITA for not dressing up to WFH?”
Redditors were asked to pass judgment by voting:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was definitely not the a**hole.
Her husband on the other hand…
“NTA and I’m really confused as to why your husband seems to have contempt for you and how you dress. It’s your job!”
“And you wanted to be comfortable! And no one was seeing you! I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”
“He WAS mean and his comments WERE hurtful. I know the pandemic stresses everyone in different ways, but you in no way owe him an apology.” ~ SurvIthrowaway
“My theory is on him being one of those guys who think women are supposed to be dolled up most of the time and now that she’s home most of the time and wearing casual clothes he’s had to *gasp* see her in sweatpants and not wearing make up.”
“The fact that he called it ‘dressed like a slob’ to me shows that that’s what he thinks of dressing casually regardless of it being for work or not. I think he used the work excuse to try (and fail) not to sound like a sexist prick.”
“Imagine insulting someone’s, let alone your wife’s, appearance and then demand an apology when they didn’t shut up and take the insult.”
“Now, alternatively, let’s pretend that he genuinely believes that you need to be wearing uncomfortable work clothes while working from home. In that case, he’s just plain dumb or has drank the corporate koolaid a little too much.”
“Like dude, connect your neurons and think: why are people required to dress ‘professionally’?”
“To appear professional IN FRONT of others. Is it because it makes you work better? NO.”
“Do you need to look PrOfEsSiOnAl while nobody’s LOOKING at you? NO. NTA.” ~ uhno28
“A phrase that completely changed my life and how I exist in the world = ‘Pretty is not the rent you pay to exist in this world as a woman‘.”
“It just set off a light bulb in my head and how much of my ‘grooming’ was the product of societal brainwashing and hyper-feminine marketing.”
“My boyfriend at the time was just f’king flabbergasted at why any woman wouldn’t WANT to have make up on unless it was right before bed in a dark room.” ~ kiwibirb95324
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around how rude he was to his wife. The first thing he does when he comes home from work is criticise her appearance.”
“Who does that???”
“I agree with you that he’s using work as an excuse. Not only is he sexist, he’s an abusive and controlling a**hole.”
“Imagine asking for an apology and making OP feel like she’s overreacting. Now she’s here asking if she’s an A**hole for not dressing up.”
“I would have told him to f’k off with his ‘suggestions’.” ~ TheFallOfTheSaint
“Wow, NTA, your husband is being a huge a**. He was rude and insulting and completely off base—who the hell cares how you dress while working from home if you’re not on camera?”
“I hope this is out of character and not his usual attitude towards you because that would be horrible and controlling. Wear what you like.” ~ lightwoodorchestra
Redditors were unanimous in their belief that the OP should wear whatever she wants. She owes no apologies.
Her husband on the other hand…