Money changes lives.
Sometimes it changes lives for the good and sometimes, it makes life more stressful.
Many people believe that when a person comes into wealth, it should be shared.
That thought process doesn’t always go over well.
Redditor Important-Brain-2271 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for keeping inheritance from birth mother instead of splitting with adoptive siblings?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I just found out that my birth mother, who I have never met, left me her whole estate ($180k)!”
“I was adopted at birth by a wonderful family with two other adopted kids.”
“My siblings are now saying that it isn’t fair I got everything when they also ‘deserve’ it being adopted as well.”
“They want to split it three ways!”
“My parents are staying neutral which I can tell is uncomfortable.”
“The thing is, this was MY birth mother.”
“She chose to find me and leave me this money.”
“My siblings have their own birth families they could easily have a connection to someday.”
“For me, this feels like my one connection to where I came from.”
“Now family dinners are awkward because my siblings barely talk to me.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“Am I being selfish keeping money that was legally left to me??”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – your siblings are entitled and irrational.”
“It doesn’t matter if they are adopted too – your birth mom (not theirs) left you something.”
“It’s yours – the only thing you’ll have from a woman who birthed you and clearly never stopped loving you.”
“Use this for something big – an education or towards a house.”
“Don’t squander it.”
“Let it always remind you that the woman who conceived you never forgot you and always loved you.” ~ Kami_Sang
“This. How can they remain silent?”
“This is clearly something they need to set them straight on.”
“OP, NTA but your siblings are acting like profound, entitled AHs, and your parents are doing everyone a disservice by not speaking up.”
“To them by not educating them, and if I were you, I’d feel betrayed.” ~ Mamamamymysherona
“The adoptive parents might not be entirely happy about op getting this money and through it still having a connection to their birth mother.”
“To be clear I think this kind of attitude from OP’s parents is wrong but I could easily see their refusal to speak up as being some kind of passive punishment from them for accepting the money.” ~ Iookingforasong
“You are certainly NTA.”
“Your family is crude and greedy.”
“Your inheritance is a beautiful gift.”
“Your birth mother clearly loved you very much.”
“For future reference, keep your financial information very private.”
“Half the posts on this sub would be unnecessary if people would keep this kind of information to themselves.”
“No one needs to know how much money you have or where it came from.”
“I get it that you want to confide in your family but, trust me, that usually doesn’t end well when it comes to money.” ~ coldcanyon1633
“Please do not let your adoptive siblings bully you into sharing your inheritance.”
“It is YOURS from YOUR birth mother… it wasn’t meant for anyone else, and I feel your adoptive parents should say something to your siblings to help you.”
“They should tell them that this money came from YOUR birth Mom and she chose to give it to you and if that were to happen to either of them, they would be keeping it for themselves as well.”
“As others have said, do something worthwhile and great with your money.”
“I got $30,000 one time from a job because someone pulled sexual advances on me and I was so young I did stupid stuff with the money and I squandered it quickly.”
“Please don’t do that… and do NOT let the siblings have it or borrow any.” ~ IhavemyCat
“NTA. Your birth mother is not their birth mother.”
“She made the choice to leave her estate to her child.”
“Even if she had other children too, she made a will and it’s legal and binding.”
“She wants you to inherit her estate.”
“Your siblings are absolutely not entitled to your inheritance.”
“They’re entitled, greedy, and jealous.”
“Your biological mother has no connection to them.”
“Just because they were adopted too, doesn’t mean that everything you get is supposed to be split equally.”
“Your parents are doing you, and their other children, a huge disservice as parents by not intervening on your behalf.”
“They should be supporting you, and teaching or reinforcing their lessons that their other children are not entitled to everything everyone else gets or has.”
“Staying neutral is not helping the situation and only causing unnecessary animosity, anger, resentment, stress and conflict.” ~ Bluntandfiesty
“NTA. This was left to you by YOUR birth mother, who wanted to give you what she could to better your life.”
“She did not want to give anything to your siblings who have no connection to her. I think it would be unfair to her to give them anything other than a slightly larger-than-usual holiday present IF you still feel like it after this grotesque behavior.”
“I have to say, I don’t think your parents are behaving well at all here.”
“They should be firmly correcting your siblings. I suspect they have some jealous feelings themselves, that your birth mother was able to give you this.” ~ Greenelse
“It would make absolutely no sense to split an inheritance from someone they’re not even related to with them.”
“It’s weird that they’re asking you to.”
“If you wanted to give them some money just because you love them, that would be fine, but I don’t think they have any right to demand it.” ~ Brief-Hat-8140
“NTA. Your parents shouldn’t be neutral at all.”
“They should say, while maybe ‘unfair’ in their eyes, they aren’t entitled to other people’s money or possessions.”
“It was your birth mother’s money.”
“It was your birth mother’s choice to leave you her estate.”
“She felt that pull to you and she has ZERO relationship or reason to have that split among your siblings.”
“It was never intended for that. What was once her’s is now yours.”
“If you want to share a little bit with them, that’s your choice.”
“But you have no obligation to do so.”
“If you decide to keep it all for yourself to set your future on a strong path forward, then you enjoy that path.”
“Life can be very unfair at times, unfortunately, and we have to learn to just deal with it the best we can.”
“I would love to have been born into a wealthy family or have a supermodel body… but I am very happy with who I am and where I’ve gone with my life.” ~ CheeSupreme1743
“Your siblings seem to have gotten it into their heads that this is, like, compensation for being adopted rather than what it is: a person who has a connection to you and not them made a decision about how to spend their own money.”
“The only people being selfish here are your siblings.”
“I don’t think much of your adoptive parents either.”
“As the parental figures of these leeches, it is their job to teach them good values.”
“Like that they are not entitled to things that don’t belong to them.”
“’Staying out of it’ isn’t good enough. NTA.”
“As a side note, $180K might feel like a lot of money, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s a modest sum.”
“Like, set against the expenses of modern life.”
“However, there is a lot of potential here if you manage it right.”
“I strongly advise that you go to your bank and talk to a financial advisor about what’s possible.” ~ DemureDamsel122
“NTA. They are NOT and will never be entitled to it.”
“The valuable lesson you just learned is that they value money over their relationship with you.”
“Which means they are not good people. Keep that money safe and away from vultures.”
“Sorry, but the only thing you can really do going forward is spend less time with them and be evasive.”
“And be wary of them apologising and asking you for money, thinking they’ve softened you up – people can get manipulative when it comes to money.” ~ Upper-File462
“NTA, that money was meant to go soley to you.”
“Your birth mother didn’t know your adoptive siblings, just you, and wanted you to feel set.”
“Not to mention all the legal stuff that goes along with it.”
“You might not even get to access it until you’re older! Your adoptive parents should be shutting down your siblings and telling them to stop.”
“Your siblings are being greedy.” ~ cupcakemon
“NTA. Your adopted siblings have no claim to your inheritance.”
“They are just being jealous and greedy.”
“And, to be honest, your parents should be shutting this down instead of being cowardly and staying neutral.”
“It was your birth mother’s choice to give you this.”
“If she had wanted you to split it with any siblings, she would have said so in her will.” ~ bamf1701
“NTA, I’d like to know how your adopted siblings found out about the inheritance?”
“If it’s because you’re a minor, I could understand it getting out somehow due to adoptive parents inadvertently spilling the beans.”
“Lesson learned: If people don’t know about the money you have, they can’t ask for it.”
“There is a lot less drama in life that way, just my opinion.” ~ Sure-Victory7172
“NTA. This is your money from your birth mother.”
“If they inherit money from any birth family in the future (parents, grandparents, whatnot) then that’s their money.”
“If you wanted to share a bit with them, that’s up to you, but they’re not entitled to a cent of your money.”
“Just because you’re all adopted doesn’t mean they have a claim to this inheritance.” ~ AltruisticCableCar
“NTA – Your adoptive parents really should be shutting this down.”
“Because how DARE they try to take money from someone they’re not connected to, nevermind YOUR birth mom.” ~ Squaaaaaasha
Reddit is with you, OP.
This is your money, from your mom.
You have no obligation to share this blessing.
If you want to be generous, that’s up to you.
But your siblings are out of line.