It’s almost 2026, so we all need to stop and agree about something right now: food allergies and sensitivities are real, they can be highly dangerous, and they should be respected.
This is especially true for young babies, who need to be introduced gradually to allergen-prone food, as they may be too young to receive certain life-saving medications, pointed out the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor a_k_mcc’s six-month-old baby had been born with several complications and health concerns, so they were being especially careful about introducing allergen-prone food.
They were only introducing one at a time to isolate potential symptoms, and they were also being mindful of only eating the foods when they could receive timely care at the hospital.
When their husband deviated from the plan and gave their baby peanut butter on a busy Friday night, the Original Poster (OP) panicked when their baby began to throw up.
They asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting for being upset that my partner gave our baby peanut butter on a Friday night?”
The OP was being very careful about introducing allergens to their sensitive baby.
“Our six-month-old baby has just started weaning, and I have had to plan and research everything.”
“Prior to starting, I explained to my partner that we would introduce allergens one at a time and do exposure for a week before crossing it off. Some allergens won’t show a reaction until the third time.”
“He doesn’t do any research when it comes to the baby. He relies on me, which is fine, because I have science degrees and more prior knowledge. When we discussed starting weaning, though we did talk through the plan, and he agreed to introducing the allergens one at a time and said that sounded logical.”
“This has been our first week, so our baby has just been eating carrots, broccoli, etc. We had discussed doing his first allergen (eggs) this weekend, so I’d looked up a few different ways to serve them, including making a huge batch of banana egg pancakes.”
But then the OP’s partner deviated from the plan.
“Around 7:30, I left for two minutes to pee before starting our bedtime routine, and he shouts up to me, ‘The baby likes peanut butter!'”
“He had given him the peanut butter on the toast he’d made as a predinner snack.”
“I told him it was stupid to give an allergen on a Friday night when hospitals are at their most stretched, not to mention outside of our schedule. He said it was ‘no big deal,’ and we argued back and forth.”
“When I fed the baby, about 15 minutes later, he projectile vomited everywhere. It looked like a TV gag, just this white stream, and over the sofa, my arm, my legs, my stomach, all covered.”
“We tried to settle him, thinking it was a one-off. Thirty minutes later, he’d repeatedly vomited, but by then, it was bright yellow. The National Health Service’s advice is to go to the nearest hospital, so we got in the car straight away.”
“Honestly, at the time, I didn’t think it was the peanut butter, as he has some gastro issues that are being investigated by the hospital and his gastroenterologist. It was the Accident and Emergency (A&E) doctor who seemed to think peanut was the most likely.”
The OP was furious with their partner for not thinking things through.
“To be honest, it’s more than rushing to the hospital on a Friday night, which shows how terrible a time it is to go. So why introduce a risky allergen to a kid with allergies already at this time?”
“The children’s A&E was packed, and we waited for over an hour to be seen. The dinner was left half-cooked, so he had to go out and get us a meal deal. It’s miserable. I’ve been to this A&E in the day, and they are so fab, but 8:30 on a Friday night…”
“The doctor couldn’t say for definite what caused this reaction. Our baby does have quite a few underlying health issues, including a cow’s milk allergy and digestive issues. She couldn’t pinpoint it but did say, ‘It’s suspicious the reaction was 15 minutes after peanut butter.”
“We’ve been advised to avoid exposure and cautiously reintroduce when older.”
“When going home, he made a comment that I had overreacted.”
“Ultimately, our baby is now fine, which is the most important thing, but all of today, I couldn’t shake this anger that he risked everything. We had to seek medical help at the worst time, when we were both exhausted, too. He says everything is fine, so I’m overreacting.”
“He hasn’t apologised once and is still acting like I’m overreacting and blowing this all out of proportion. That’s why I wanted to post here to check my sanity a bit.”
“AIO?”
As feedback started to come in, the OP added some clarification.
“I think my post is being misunderstood as being reluctant to introduce allergens. I absolutely wanted to introduce them early, as I know this is what the latest research shows.”
“But the agreed plan was not to randomly introduce them, but to have a key allergen per week to be introduced. This way, if any reaction occurred, we would know the culprit straight away. And this exposure would have obviously been at his mealtime in the afternoon, so any reaction would be spotted too, not right before bed.”
“As he continued to throw up for over 45 minutes, until it was clear, then bright yellow, it seems unlikely it’s from overfeeding but a reaction to something that could have been avoided.”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some were angry over several different things the OP’s partner did.
“NOR, but the thing to be mad about isn’t Friday night. The thing to be mad about is that you guys had discussed an allergen plan, and he deviated from that plan, apparently on a whim, and hasn’t apologized for that.” – clairejv
“I can’t believe he disregarded the plan like that, AND then there’s the gaslighting about overreacting. This man is a danger to the baby if he can not see his fault in the entire ordeal.” – Seeayteebeans
“The baby has a health history that mom refers to, and we do not know. Mom, even if anxious, did the research and developed a plan. Discussed it with her husband, who was happy to let her do all the work.”
“Then he pulls a Homer Simpson-level idiot move, and the response from the crowd is ‘Relax, mom, you’re too anxious, that’s not reality.'”
“The issue here is that dad made a dumb, careless decision and then was too emotionally immature to own it and apologize. He’s trying to gaslight mom.” – One-Hamster-6865
“It’s not about when to introduce it or if he has a right to feed the kid, or whatever. It’s about him doing it at a time that was irresponsible, if a reaction was to occur, and then not acknowledging that it was a dumb thing to do.”
“She’s going to the effort of thinking about it, and he’s just doing whatever he has the vibes of in the moment. It’s disrespectful to her when she’s shouldering the mental load.” – hoardbooksanddragons
“My pediatrician always advised to bring out kids in for their firsts (first vomit, first fever, etc) cause you don’t have a baseline yet. You definitely weren’t overreacting; you were being careful.” – Rough-Preference-502
Others reassured the OP that they were not overreacting about the possible food allergy.
“Wow, I was going to say NOR when I assumed the baby had no reaction. I’d be much more mad than you are.”
“You do not mess around with introducing allergens, and this is a huge slap in the face to the mental load you’re carrying, planning out first foods for your first baby. And he hasn’t even APOLOGIZED.” – FalconAlternative282
“You are absolutely not overreacting, and quite frankly, I would be a bit worried about his future food interactions with the baby too if he thinks that everything wound up ok. Like, yes, your baby is fine, thank GOODNESS, but throwing up like that is very taxing, and him not seeming to have that on his radar worries me a little bit.” – pastelponyprincess
“You asked him not to introduce a potential allergen in the evening, which is in line with the advice given (so that you don’t put a baby down to sleep and then not notice them having a reaction), so I think you were justified to be bothered and then to be very upset when it led to you needing to go to the hospital.”
“I’m not sure it’s necessary to spread introducing new foods out a week at a time, (but maybe that’s the advice when there’s already one allergy confirmed/ I can understand your caution because of that).”
“I was the parent that did all the research and decision making about how and when we were doing things for our baby, and my partner mostly just went with whatever I suggested, but he also did start new foods randomly without telling me/ buy foods that were meant for older babies, etc, so if I was you I would expect that your partner will probably continue being as blasé as he has been.” – Fit_Satisfaction_287
“I think it’s especially irresponsible given that your baby already has known allergies. If you have one allergy, you’re more prone to developing others. And then, given you’d talked it all out and had a plan and he did this on a Friday night, I think you’re right to be furious.”
“How can you be overreacting when the exact reason you had a plan and didn’t want to test things on a weekend came to pass because of his actions? It’s extremely frustrating. This is why you had planned it!”
“I don’t know what he’s playing at, but he made a massive mistake and should apologise to you. I’m glad your baby is ok now.”
“There seems to be this weird rule that babies only get ill on the weekend when you can’t see the GP and end up having to go to A&E. I think almost every time my daughters needed a doctor, it’s been on a Friday night or Saturday-Sunday. So maybe it was the universe guiding your husband’s hand to ensure this rule remains in place. No, I’m joking, he did the wrong thing and made life scary and difficult for no reason.” – KittyGrewAMoustache
“To OP, I grew up with a father who didn’t believe in my food allergies/sensitivities. He called them “psychosomatic.” He refused to cater to my sensitivities when cooking, and this messed up my stomach for many, many years. I am still having problems with my immune system.”
“Please have a think of this and talk to your partner.” – IsaSnel
The subReddit completely understood where the OP was coming from, and while being frustrated about the timing might seem weird, they could understand the OP’s worries about getting to the hospital and receiving treatment on time on a busy day.
It was clear that the OP and their partner needed to talk through this and discuss their plan going forward for introducing allergens, including the prime times during the week to avoid in case another possible reaction arose.
Now that their baby had possibly shown a reaction to one food, it was more likely for them to show a reaction to something else.