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Teen Lashes Out At Her Intrusive Mom For Constantly Trying To Pluck The Hairs Off Her Chin

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Each of us has our own idea of what looks good appearance-wise. But even if we have these opinions, we only have the right to express those opinions on our own bodies.

When we try to impose our beliefs on someone else’s body, we have gone way too far, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor Pinhead_Larri felt the need to stand up for herself and how she wants to look, unfortunately to her own family.

But when an argument ensued, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was somehow in the wrong for standing up for herself.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for telling my mother she’s not entitled to my body?”

The OP wasn’t bothered by her body hair. 

“I (17 [Female]) have like 3-4 hairs that grow on my chin.”

“I personally don’t mind them and don’t see why I should bother plucking them.”

“They aren’t noticeable unless you are inches away from my face.”

But her mother sure was.

“My mother (43 [Female]), however, thinks that these hairs are the end of the world.”

“She checks my chin d**n near daily and plucks them as soon as they’re long enough.”

“Today, she checked my chin as usual and plucked one.”

“She proceeded to make comments about how it was so big and noticeable.”

“She even went as far as to say that ‘It’s big enough to have its own area code.'”

The OP wasn’t comfortable with this attention.

“This bothers me because it feels like a violation and her comments are unnecessary.”

“I don’t feel like I have a choice but to let her pluck them.”

“Every time I ask her to leave them and me alone, she very quickly gets angry and is ready to argue.”

The two women eventually argued.

“Today, I finally told her that she is not entitled to my body and has no right to violate my wishes.”

“She got very upset and immediately went on a tangent about how it’s unladylike and how it’s dirty.”

“I asked her why I should care and she couldn’t give me an answer.”

“She stormed off and is giving me the silent treatment.”

“Am I the a**hole?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some were appalled by the mother’s behavior. 

“NTA. Next time she tries, tell her you are perfectly capable of grooming yourself to the standards you hold. Then walk away.”

“If she continues, you repeat the phrase and leave again.”

“If she comes at you with tweezers, you yell at the top of your lungs, ‘You do not have my permission to touch my body!'”

“When she gets angry, remind her no means no. Every woman has had this drilled into us for years, so maybe she will get it.”VerdeEyed

“NTA, your mother is projecting her fear of chin hair onto you. Stay strong, the older you get, the more there are. Not the end of the world, chin hair.”Snorblatz

Others said the OP had the right to do whatever she wanted with her body.

“I don’t shave my legs regularly anymore and it makes it just that much more delightful when I randomly decide to shave them some days. It’s so much nicer to do things for yourself rather than because you feel obligated.”BrittLee8

“Good for you! You do not have to shave if you don’t want to.”

“And a lot of women don’t ‘need’ to, anyway. Me, my calves are covered in hair, but it’s quite fine. Plus I have a skin condition that makes most of me from my shoulders down covered in reddish dots.”

“So between those two things, you can hardly see the hair. I’ve had people who’ve known me for years double take in surprise when I point out to them my legs are hairy. They had no idea.”

“Then you have sort of the opposite in my sister, who shaves her legs fastidiously … not for looks, but because her leg hair comes in so coarse, long, and curly that it tangles. Her options were to shave it or comb it. So she shaves.”

“Then there’s all manner of leg hair in between.”

“Anyway, if you’re comfortable in your skin, and you don’t smell bad enough other people have to breathe it in, your hygiene is your business.”Starlight_Shadows

“I usually check my chin every couple of days, but sometimes one long black one pops out of nowhere, seemingly overnight. I see them better in natural light from the window. I don’t like them, so out with the tweezers, but if OP is cool with them, more power to her.”Far_Administration41

A few suggested reaching out to the OP’s brother.

“You are definitely NTA. You may still be a minor, but you are more than entitled to a significant measure of bodily autonomy.”

“It sounds like there’s a really unhealthy dynamic in your relationship with your mother. Do you have another supportive parent or adult sibling you can reach out to?”

“Honestly, I would recommend checking in with your school guidance counselor, in part to have an impartial adult to talk about this with, but also to have a professional aware of the situation in case things escalate at all.”ThomMerelin42

“As the older sibling of a kid who still lives with our parent who I know was toxic when I lived there: my sister doesn’t need to tell me about a serious problem in order for me to be welcoming and take her in. The only reason I’m not suggesting that is because I don’t want to push my own feelings towards our parent on her.”

“If I were your brother, I’d really hope you’d come to ask for help the moment you wanted it. Not for you to wait until it’s almost too late. I’d want to be there as soon as I could. Maybe your brother feels the same.”

“Anyway, NTA. Good for you on standing your ground. Your mother is indeed not entitled to your body. Only you are.”nzkfwti

Though the OP wondered if she was wrong for standing up for herself in this way, the subReddit disagreed and said she had every right to stand up for her body.

Though the mother may have thought the chin hairs were a little unsightly, the best thing for her to do is to take care of her own chin hairs and allow her daughter to pluck or leave them as she pleased.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.