When going out to dine with a large group, finding a restaurant that pleases everybody can be a challenge.
As some people might be picky eaters and tend to avoid various foods and cuisines.
This can be especially tricky when it comes to children, who are still learning what their personal tastes and preferences are.
Even though some children find their palates advancing faster than others.
A recent Redditor was out to a restaurant with their extended family for a celebratory lunch.
Thankfully, both the original poster (OP)’s children found something on the menu that excited them.
Unfortunately, their selection did not please the OP’s SIL at all, who felt the OP and their children “embarrassed” her.
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for letting my children order full meals instead of kids?”
The OP explained why a recent meal out with the family turned sour:
“We went to a restaurant for my MIL bday lunch.”
“When orders were being taken, SIL announced that ALL the kids would be having kids meal tenders and fries with juice.”
“My 9yo and 4yo eat adult meals, 2 chicken tenders and handful of fries will not fill them up so when the waiter got to me, I told him my kids will have adult meals since I’m the one paying for them, so they ordered their meals and my SIL was pissed.”
“She said I embarrassed her and made her kids question her, because she told them they were getting ‘the same thing all the other kids were eating’.”
“So, am I the AH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for allowing their children to order off the adult menu.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s SIL had no right to order for everyone, including her own children, who should have had a say in what they wanted:
“NTA.”
“Your sister should not have made an unagreed-upon pronouncement that applied to your kids as well as her.”
“This is on her.”- BeginningSun247
“NTA.”
“Why would she select your children’s meals anyway?”
“Maybe they wanted a burger or pizza.”
“That’s bizarre.”- ShyGirlWanting
“NTA.”
“Anyone ordering for other people is automatically TA.”- leovinuss
“NTA.”
“Your SIL has no say in what your kids eat, especially since you were the one paying for your kids.”- Mundane-Run6179
“NTA.”
“Your SIL isn’t in charge of the choices you & your children make.”- Traditional-Bag-4508
“NTA.”
“While I’m a bit surprised the 4 y.o. can finish an adult meal, even if they couldn’t, what if they just wanted something on the adult menu or had some issue where they couldn’t eat chicken tenders?”
“My niece asked for an adult meal instead of the kids’ meal, and while she didn’t eat most of it, at least she was able to eat and enjoy some and pack the leftovers for later.”
“Especially since you’re the one paying for them–she has no right to say anything when you are the one paying for them.”- DNA_ligase
“NTA.”
“Anyone who thinks they can order for me or one of my family members at a restaurant where I am paying is going to be laughed at, then overruled.”
“I had a college acquaintance like this, who had the idea that he knew better than everyone what to order at restaurants, and would try to talk over us when the server was at the table.”
“These people are the lamest of the lame.”
“It’s like their lives are so tiny and pathetic, they can’t even go out in public without trying to lord over others in the smallest, pettiest ways imaginable.”- gwie
“NTA.”
“You are paying for it.”- AdelleDeWitt
“NTA.”
“Your kids, your money, your decision.”- Brittany371
“NTA.”
“And yes, it does make your SIL look bad, but that’s her own damn fault.”- Organic-Class-8537
“NTA.”
“Your SIL can’t claim it’s okay for her to order for your kids, but it isn’t okay for you to order for your kids.”
“Your concern was the size of the orders, but I can’t help but take a moment to vent about the nature and quality of kids’ meals.”
“They’re the worst part of the menu!”
“I’ve seen restaurants with great menus otherwise, and then the kids’ options are boring as can be.”
“They sell kids short, and then we wonder why kids are such picky eaters.”
“It’s because they’re trained on crap.”
“End rant.”- Upbeat_Selection357
“NTA.”
“Your kids and you were paying.”
“SIL should’ve checked with you before making a proclamation on what your kids would have.”-Royal_Eye6517
“NTA.”
“Your SIL was presumptuous and out of line for trying to order your children’s meals for them.”-reallynah75
“NTA since you are paying for your own children.”
“I also actively discourage them from ordering chicken strips & fries or the generic mac & cheese most places serve, we can eat that crap at home or a fast food place.”
“Restaurants are special occasions, and they have specialties to try.”
“People are always shocked my son wants a salad vs fries.”- Fickle-Goose7379
“NTA.”
“She wasn’t paying for it, she has no right to dictate what your kids eat.”- nitro1432
“NTA.”
“If her strategy to get her kids to go with something is ‘everybody else is doing it’ that’s not your problem.”
“She doesn’t actually get to control what the rest of the world does, and today was her first lesson in that I guess.”- infinitebroccolis
“NTA.”
“You were paying.”- West-Improvement2449
“NTA.”
“Even if your 4yo doesn’t eat the full adult meal, it’s your money, plus you can always take leftovers home.”- StructEngineer91
“NTA.”
“You can always bring home leftovers.”
“At 9 years I was ordering off the adult menu.”
“I feel like there should be an in between size that is available to children that I’d basically a lunch portion.”
“Bigger than kid size but not quite adult size.”- WyvernJelly
“Your SIL has no business decreeing what other people will eat unless she’s paying the bill.”
“She just didn’t want to deal with her own kids – but that isn’t your problem.”
“You are absolutely NTA.”- wesmorgan1
“NTA.”
“Your SIL embarrassed herself by thinking she could dictate what your kids were allowed to eat, when you were the one paying for the food your kids were having.”
“She needs to learn where her lane is and stay in it.”
“The level of sheer audacity that it takes to make an announcement like that and just expect you (and your kids) to fall in line is something else.”
“She decides what her kids eat; she does not get a say in what your kids eat.”- No-Assignment5538
“NTA.”
“You were paying for your kids’ meals & have done the rare thing (nowadays at least) of helping kids expand their palate beyond chicken fingers & French fries.”- DGinLDO
“You paid, so 100% NTA.”- Illustrious-Bus-3396
“NTA.”
“You know what your children want and can handle.”
“Like you said, you’re the one paying for them, so no one else should be dictating what they get.”
“How her parents aren’t your concern, and getting kids to be upset with her is her issue.”-capriciousbird
“NTA.”
“You are paying, and they are YOUR kids.”
“Why is SIL ’embarrassed’?”
“Sounds like she likes to pick fights.”- MarionberryPlus8474
“NTA.”
“Your kids are your kids – not hers.”
“She doesn’t have the option of forcing your kids to eat whatever she wants hers to eat, just so she doesn’t have to allow her kids to order adult portions which are more expensive.”
“Period.”
“Your kids, your rules.”
“Her kid,s her rules.”- HappyGoLuckyOcean
“NTA.”
“Unless it is a situation like a wedding with preplanned meals, your SIL doesn’t get to dictate what your kids eat, just like you don’t dictate what her kids eat.”
“If she were paying, she could ask, not dictate, that they order a kids’ meal.”
“And since she wasn’t paying, she really has no room to declare their meals.”- glueintheworld
“Your SIL really overstepped by trying to define what your children eat.”
“NTA.”- laughingsbetter
“NTA.”
“My kids used to get adult meals, too.”- jmsst1996
“NTA.”
“She embarrassed herself.”
“She needed no help. If she wants her kids to eat a cereal meal, she talks to them about it.”
“If she can’t afford for them to eat adult meals, everyone in her family gets the kids’ meals.”
“She can talk to her kids about what the expectations are for her family.”
“I bet she has told the kids that they can only order off the kids’ menu.”
“And that is why they are now questioning her.”
“I would also remind her that she is not going to be parenting your children, or telling you how to spend your money.”
“If she is continues to make announcements about what other families are going to be doing she will continue to embarrass herself.”- KittyC217
If the OP’s SIL was the one paying for lunch, she possibly could have had a bit more say in what everyone ordered.
Seeing as it wasn’t the case, however, leads one to wonder why what the OP’s children at was any concern of hers.
Nor is it very easy to understand why any parent would be disappointed that their child might be interested in food beyond chicken tenders and French fries…