Meal prep can be an essential part of a person’s diet.
Some people prepare for the entire week to make the most of their time.
This alleviates a lot of stress.
However, stress can be compounded when another person comes along and dips their hands into the ready-to-go cookie jar.
Then the preppers can be caught off guard and scramble to replace the food that’s been eaten.
Redditor DroidFit3625 to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my husband not to eat the food I made for my lunches?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband (34 M[ale]) and I (33 F[emale]) had a little exchange yesterday morning.”
“He works remotely full-time, while I work in person all 5 days of the week.”
“I also do most of the cooking and cleaning.”
“Since I’m not home during the day, I make my lunch and make sure he either has leftovers or makes something fresh for him the night before.”
“On Monday, there was a crisis at work, and I realized I was going to have to work longer hours this week and won’t have a lot of time to cook.”
“I stayed up until 2 am on Monday night cooking a variety of food items to cover my lunches for the week and at least 2-3 days’ worth of meals for all of us.”
“He went to bed at 10 pm.”
“For my lunches, I made stuffed squash since I can just boil a little bit of rice to go with it every night while packing my lunch.”
“The next morning, as I was heading out for work, I started showing my husband what’s in the fridge so he doesn’t tell me later he didn’t see it.”
“He saw the stuffed squash and started taking one out of the container before I could tell him I made it for my lunches.”
“Here’s where I might be TA: as he was taking one out, I said a little too loudly, ‘No, that’s for my lunches.'”
“He looked a bit like how our daughter looks when I scold her for something.”
“The intention was to let him know I made it with a specific purpose, so he’s not just eating all the portions I made for my lunches and leaving me scrambling again.”
“I also told him that he’s more than welcome to try one if he wants it, I just didn’t want him to think he can have all of it.”
“He wasn’t saying anything more on it, and I was running late, so I left for work.”
“When I got home, he seemed unnaturally quiet and distant with me.”
“I asked him why he’s acting weird, but he said he isn’t and nothing’s wrong, so I dropped it.”
“At the end of the night, he told me he didn’t like how I spoke to him that morning about the food, and he felt like I was trying to control how much he was eating.”
“My husband is the sort of person who will eat half a pizza that was meant to be shared between 3 people because he really felt like stuffing it in the moment without asking if there’s enough for everyone.”
“Don’t get me wrong, he generally is very considerate, but he has some ‘cookie monster’ moments.”
“Even so, I’ve only ever commented on it if he’s being rude to guests by doing it or if he’s overeating something he needs to restrict for medical reasons.”
“Considering how much food I made to make sure he has plenty to eat during the day, that comment seemed to come out of left field and was honestly quite hurtful, but I apologized for my tone from the morning and for making him feel bad about it and explained the reasoning and the intention behind it.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA for telling him not to eat the food I made for my lunches? Is it reasonable for him to think I’m trying to control how much he’s eating just based on that one comment?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“My husband works from home, and I’m in the office 5 days a week.”
“He survives without me having to baby him and takes care of his own meals all by himself.”
“NTA. Your husband is lazy.”
“Stop catering to him.” ~ stellablue925
“NTA. Your husband needs to start pulling his weight.”
“I work from home, and my husband works in an office.”
“I do most of the cooking as I don’t have to commute.”
“This seems completely fair to me and helps our family run more efficiently.”
“The least your husband can do is get dinner started after work.” ~ Illustrious-Mirror85
“Why isn’t the lazy husband making meals?”
“He’s at home all day while the OP isn’t.” ~ CounselorWriter
“Period, honestly.”
“A 9-5 shift followed by an additional shift at home cooking and cleaning, when her partner has been home all day.”
“Then, when she snaps at him one time for trying to eat the meal she made for herself, she’s the bad guy… lol.” ~ bordennium
“NTA. There are plenty of issues in this relationship.”
“You are in a mother role- working, commuting, cleaning, cooking, and here he is, at home, contributing less to household chores, unable to control his urges even when indulging will hurt others, needing your reminder or scolding to be just basically considerate.”
“And you don’t do this for you, only for others.”
“You say he’s generally considerate. How?”
“I bet you’ll struggle to produce examples of worth.”
“Now he’s pouting and passive-aggressive because he was told 1 food in the kitchen is for your lunch while doing overtime?”
“What a weak little man.” ~ Viva_Veracity1906
“NTA… Yeah, this is on him.”
“If you’re working, commuting, and still doing most of the house stuff, the bare minimum is respecting your lunch.”
“It’s not hard to be a partner and not a burden.”
“His reaction says a lot.”
“If he wants to be treated like an adult, he should act like one.” ~ kcitlvn
“You have the same division of labor that my dog and I have.”
“I go out to work, and I do all the cooking and cleaning.”
“She stays home.”
“Sometimes I have to shout at her when she tries to steal my food.”
“Only difference is she doesn’t hold a grudge and is very grateful for the life I provide her, and she’s shown me lots of love and affection.”
“I also don’t mind doing all the work, seeing as how she’s a bloody dog so unable to split 50/50 like a husband should 🤣.”
“Get rid of the husband and get a dog – it’s a better trade-off. NTA.” ~ Impossible_Syrup_131
“Embarrassing for him that he can’t take care of his own meals while he’s at home during the day.”
“He’s not a child.”
“I choose to make my own work lunches, and my husband chooses to buy lunch when at work instead.”
“We split the cooking between us.”
“Stop being taken advantage of.”
“You deserve more.” ~ zipitdirtbag
“Why isn’t he the cook and meal prepper since he never has a commute? NTA.” ~ Salty_Sense_7662
“NTA – Why do you do all the cooking and cleaning?”
“And why doesn‘t he step up if you have to work late and cook for YOU?”
“NO, he does not sound considerate, or your bar is very low.” ~ BerneDoodleLover24
“NTA. You both work full-time, and yet you still do most of the cooking and cleaning on top of the time it takes you to travel to and from work.”
“I’m not at all trying to make assumptions about your relationship or how much he contributes, but it seems like this is a problem due to unrealized and/or undervalued effort on your part.”
“Yeah, maybe you could’ve used a better tone.”
“That being said, you’re putting a ton of effort and time into something he’s mindlessly taking from, without any consideration for why you might need those meals to function, the extra effort it will take to prepare new meals if he eats them, etc.”
“I think it was kind of you to apologize for your tone, but don’t let your experience go unrecognized.”
“I recommend sitting down with him and talking to him about how your average workday plays out and the effort it takes to prepare meals.”
“I think if he’s genuinely a good guy who loves you, that added context will help him understand why you snapped at him.” ~ bordennium
“NTA. Why are you cooking for him when he’s at home and can square himself away without you mothering him?”
“You were up until 2 am prepping.”
“Is he that oblivious?!”
“Unless you enjoy catering to him, he’s adding extra work to your pile and being lazy.” ~ PrincessCG
“NTA, but make him start cooking for himself if he works from home.”
“Why are you doing everything while also commuting?”
“That’s wild to me.” ~ lainmelle
“NTA, but at any point did you make it clear you were up to a 2 am batch cooking?”
“He seems to think it’s about something else entirely, and is oblivious to the effort that goes into keeping people fed.” ~ elpardo1984
“NTA. There is an uneven distribution of labor in your home.”
“The least you should get is to claim the food you made.” ~ XanaxWarriorPrincess
“Why did you apologize?! “
“I hate reading stories like this, and the woman always caves and says sorry. Why??”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“He’s the adult baby.” ~ Hour-Membership-6831
“Stop. Cooking. For. That. Man.” ~ Significant_Option34
OP came back to answer a few questions…
“Putting this here because almost every comment asked this: he used to cook/clean equally until a couple of months ago.”
“He was in a car crash and injured his back, so I’ve taken on the tasks that are painful for him or he just doesn’t have energy for.”
“He also gets 20 mins for lunch because of their team schedule, so making a lunch for himself is also often not possible.”
This is a stressful situation, OP.
It’s unfortunate that your husband is having some physical issues.
It was kind of you to apologize, but unnecessary.
It sounds like your husband is a touch too sensitive.
Maybe a more poignant discussion could be helpful.
Good Luck.