Kids need supervision and rules constantly.
Havoc and mayhem can be caused when parents aren’t as vigilant.
And mayhem is messy.
Eventually the person always cleaning it up is going to reach their limit.
Case in point…
Redditor halfa**millennial wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for putting a lock on 4-year-old’s bedroom so the kids can’t trash his room?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Pretty straightforward… I got a lock for my four year old’s room.”
“My son is only four but he’s super in the collecting things.”
“(He has autism)”
“He has probably every single monster jam monster truck ever made.”
“He has every single marvel/DC/superhero action figure you could think of.”
“And he’s really into setting up these huge marble runs.”
“Everything is organized and put away nicely and my son likes to keep it that way.”
“The problem is that every time my best friend’s kids or my nephew comes over, they b-line it to his room and trash everything.”
“Literally from ripping off legs to the action figures, ripping off tires to his monster trucks and just trashing every single toy that they can get their hands on in general.”
“I’m not even talking about just normal wear and tear these kids are f**king like destructive and they will destroy almost everything they put their hands on.”
“The marbles end up all over my house and lost.”
“He also has a collection of those squishy toys and one of the kids literally will not keep their hands off of them and bites a hole in one every single time, ruining it.”
“I used to go through his room and have to hide everything before they come over to try to avoid this but I have literally had it at this point so I told them they are no longer allowed in my son’s room period.”
“They can play with the huge bin of toys that I have in the living room or one of the 100’s of toys outside etc.”
“Of course it didn’t go over well and the kids started throwing a fit because they know what’s in his room and the toys ‘aren’t good enough and they’re bored.'”
“And my sister and best friend are both saying that I’m being too much and saying that they’re just toys.”
“But these toys are expensive, we spent hours building the marble run just for it to get torn down the absolute second they walk in the door.”
“And after everyone’s gone and the room is trashed and all his toys are broken and misplaced he’s really upset over it.”
“Rightfully in my opinion.”
“They say I am teaching him not to share and to be greedy but I disagree.”
“I think they need to teach their kids basic respect for other people stuff and to not throw a fit when they can’t have something.”
“I wouldn’t have a problem with them going in there and playing with the stuff if they were even the least bit respectful about it.”
“But proven time and time again that they can’t handle it.”
“Now they don’t want to come over with their kids because they think I’m being an a**hole and I honestly don’t care.”
“I also believe that you should teach your kids to share but not everything HAS to be shared.”
“You can have specific things to just keep for yourself.”
“I’m just curious as to what everyone else thinks.”
“Am I the a**hole or no??”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
NTA – Not The A**hole
YTA – You’re The A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. These kids don’t respect ‘no,’ and they don’t respect your child’s belongings.”
“I’m sure your child is willing to ‘share’ every toy in the entire rest of the house – just not his special ones.”
“And that’s fine!!”
“As you said, not everything has to be shared.”
“And sharing doesn’t mean ‘I get to do whatever I want to your stuff.'”
“If a lock on the door is what it takes to keep the hooligans in line, then lock that door, and don’t feel bad about it.” ~ MbMinx
“Lemme guess, sister and bestie have never offered to help clean, fix, or reimburse for the damages either, right?”
“I wouldn’t be shocked in the slightest. NTA.” ~ Palindromer101
“I’d tell them ‘no I’m teaching him it’s alright to set boundaries and you’re allowed to say no.'”
“That’s all you’re teaching him.”
“They on the other hand are teaching their kids they are entitled to everything, other people’s boundaries mean nothing and if they throw a big enough temper tantrum they can get what they want.”
“Stellar parenting right there”
“NTA- we need to teach kids to advocate for themselves, that they can speak up if they don’t like something someone is doing and that they are allowed to have boundaries.”
“Also your son doesn’t have an issue sharing his favorite toys he has an issue with vicious little goblins coming over and purposely destroying his things.”
“This I don’t think is even an autism thing- who would be okay with someone doing this?”
“I doubt if you took your kid over to their house and he trashed everything he could get his hands on they’d just wave it off as nothing.”
“You said they are now refusing to come over?”
“Good- your little one doesn’t need these toxic influences and allowing them to continue is just telling your kid that his feelings and boundaries don’t matter.”
“You handled this entirely right (I mean I’d of just flat out banned them but the lock works too).” ~ acegirl1985
“They want you to cave because they don’t want to parent their own children.”
“This wouldn’t be an issue if they had raised children to treat other people’s things with respect.”
“Then maybe they could play in your son’s room respectfully and put things back where they belong and not tear things up.”
“You didn’t put a lock on your son’s door, they did via bad parenting.”
“I also think they are horrible for not cleaning up after their own children.”
“Frankly they are doing you a favor for not bringing their kids back in my opinion.”
“When they told me they weren’t coming over anymore, my response would have been a simple – OK. NTA.” ~ PotatoLover-3000
“NTA. And then multiply that a few times because your son has autism.”
“I have an extended family member with autism, and they don’t necessarily process these kinds of things like other kids.”
“You absolutely did the right thing.” ~ phydeaux44
“My cousins were like this when I was little.”
“It was like they honed in to the only toys that you loved the most and then tear them apart, they were older than me as well.”
“Stuffed rabbits head ripped off, doll house playsets trampled into plastic shards, dolls drawn all over with marker pen.”
“But when I went over theirs I wasn’t allowed to touch a thing!”
“I ended up gathering all my precious items and putting them in this wooden toy box I had and sitting on it the entire time they were there.”
“Of course I got pushed off by them 9 times out of 10.”
“My mum banned them from going upstairs but they’d find a way to sneak off and rummage upstairs.”
“I hated them.”
“Don’t bother with them at all.” ~ MeganeGokudo
“Many parents have a hard time seeing their kids the way they outside world dies.”
“Acknowledging their kids may have behavior issues to them is a knock on them and their parenting and they can’t accept that.”
“So… their kids are perfect and yours are the issue.”
“What people often miss is even kids are whole human beings with their own personalities we can’t control we can only teach and guide.”
“NTA OP your son needs his things in the way he likes them this isn’t a lack of sharing but literally how his brain processes.”
“Die on this hill!!!” ~ goldenmalamutemom
“First, you’re NTA.”
“But even if you were (and you’re not), who could blame you?”
“You’re looking out for your kid and you owe them nothing.”
“They’re the definition of entitled.”
“I hope he can find better playmates.” ~ WinnieTheBlueBear
“I think THEY need to learn to share.”
“Share the money those toys cost.”
“Share the time to put away the toys in their places and to rebuild everything they destroy.”
“Share their own toys… why don’t they bring any?”
“Then they would realize how fun it is to share!!!”
“Typical A holes love to demand ‘sharing’ from others, but never offer to share their own. NTA.” ~ EchoWillowing
“It’s pretty easy to understand.”
“I can’t stand it when those parents say the problem is with the other kid for not sharing.”
“One big reason people are getting less inclined to share is because those that want the item shared have no concept of respecting someone else’s property and taking care of it while using it. NTA.” ~ Accomplished-Group60
Reddit came back with deets…
“They swear up and down that they were going to clean up the room and they’ll put everything back where they found it.”
“But by the end of the night you know that never happens.”
“So yeah I think the lock is the best idea.”
“And the two specific kids that I’m talking about are 6 and 8 years old so they 100% know better they just blatantly don’t do it.”
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
First of all, your house, your rules.
Sounds like sis and BF need a crash course in discipline.
For their kids and themselves.
Good luck.