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Ex-Maid Of Honor Called Out For Cancelling Wedding Cake After She Was Disinvited From Ceremony

A baker prepares a wedding cake

Weddings aren’t always a fun time.

And wedding planning stage can be the most disastrous time of all.

Emotions are high.

Stress is off the charts.

And communication can be muddled.

Which can lead to A LOT of issues.

Case in point…

Redditor jisoojelly to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not bringing a cake to a wedding I was uninvited from?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My (ex) best friend got married this Saturday.”

“I was supposed to be the maid of honor, but she removed me from the wedding over a dispute regarding my makeup, hair, and ‘disinterest in the wedding.'”

“She uninvited me from the wedding after I told friends my side of the story.”

“I was responsible for the cake at the wedding, but canceled the order because I was uninvited and wanted to be reimbursed for all of my investments in this wedding.”

“I told the bride I wasn’t going to bring the cake over for them.”

“The new maid of honor went to pick up the cake and learned that I had canceled the order.”

“They were able to get another cake, but it apparently wasn’t as nice.”

“The bride, groom, and my sister (who attended) told me it was unfair to cancel the cake.”

“My sister thinks I should have let them enjoy their special day and then later discussed getting my money back.”

“The bride refers to the cake as a gift and claims that a gift cannot be returned.”

“The groom just agrees with literally anything his precious wife says.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“You don’t disinvite someone from a wedding and STILL expect a gift. NTA.”  ~ Rigpa_Dakota

“OP proposed a cake and then decided not to give it after the bride broke up with her, despite the bride then demanding OP still give her the cake.”

“There never was a cake, just the promise of one.”

“This entitlement takes… the cake. NTA.”  ~ Which_Ideal1867

“Right? First, I want to say OP it sucks that you and the bride are now ex-best friends because of the wedding planning.”

“It’s never a good feeling to lose a friend, especially a close one.”

“That said, you are NTA for canceling their cake order/gift/whatever.”

‘They don’t get to have a cake when they ended a friendship and uninvited you over a disagreement about the wedding.”

“They don’t get a gift when the giver isn’t even allowed to attend the party.”

“Secondly, I’m surprised you were okay with your sister attending your ex-best friend’s wedding.”

“What caused the rift between you and the former best friend that wouldn’t cause a problem between their relationship or your relationship with your sister?”  ~ SageRiBardan

“100% this.”

“OP could be an AH in many other ways, but she is absolutely NOT an AH for canceling the cake she ordered and paid for for a wedding she was uninvited from.”

“At the point the bride said ‘you are no longer invited to my wedding,’ she should have had zero expectations for OP to contribute to the event in any way.”  ~ Xilonen03

“Exactly my thoughts.”

“OP, you did nothing wrong.”

“For the people that tell you that you were wrong to do that, tell them to mind their business.”

“Why would you waste your money on someone who doesn’t value you and uninvited you to their wedding.”

“Girl, you better take this money and buy yourself your own cake and some wine.”  ~ No-Secret-1397

“Right. You can definitely cancel a gift if you haven’t given it to the giftee.”

“OP was going to give the bride the cake on the wedding day.”

“Hell yes she can cancel it at anytime prior to physically handing it over, and the bride was incredibly entitled and foolish to expect OP to not cancel it once she was uninvited from the wedding.”

“The bride is a true piece of work.”  ~ Ok-Succotash7483

“NTA. So they uninvite you from the wedding but believed they were still entitled to the cake you had paid for.”

“They are all ridiculous if they think that is normal.”  ~ Fun-Two-1414

“Completely agree. Also messed up that your sister is saying you’re unfair.”

“She’d be upset too if she were uninvited and still expected to GIFT a cake. NTA.”  ~ REDDIT

“I can’t believe I actually have to say this, NTA.”

“Why they assumed you’d still pay for a cake for a wedding YOU can’t even attend baffles me.”

“If they can take the time to uninvite you, they can take the time to book a new cake.” ~ bluewolf6000

“One of my bridesmaids had her mom make a cake and like 100 cupcakes for my wedding.”

“But even then, I paid her a stupidly low price of $200 for materials, but still paid her to make them, even though she told me not to worry about paying for it because she ‘wasn’t a professional.'”

“So it can happen, but it’s super trashy to expect it, especially when it is from a professional and Bridezilla uninvited her to the wedding.”

“You cannot expect to use someone’s ‘perks’ when you exclude them.”

“NTA, and I hope you get reimbursed for what you did spend for their wedding.”  ~ Sallyjo2572

“You hadn’t given it at that point, so it wasn’t a gift.”

“They uninvited you but thought they were still entitled to your gift.”

“I’m afraid not. NTA.”  ~ TrayMc666

“NTA. You went from M[aid] O[f] H[onor] to being told not to come.”

“To me, that means you don’t have to give a gift and since you were ordering cake as a gift – it then becomes the bride and groom’s responsibility to order it and pay for it.”  ~ laughter_corgis

“NTA. First, I’ve never heard of a MOH being responsible for the wedding cake – was that an agreement in lieu of a gift or something?”

“When I was getting married, I was way excited about the excuse for cake – I don’t think I would have let someone else make those arrangements.”

“You said you told them you weren’t bringing the cake over.”

“Did you mention that was because the order was canceled, or just that you weren’t transporting the cake?”

“It’s weird that she didn’t clarify this point when she uninvited you.”

“Sounds like they want to have their cake and eat it too, without you around.”  ~ Dangerous_Apricot_51

“OP I don’t know if this is helpful or not, and weddings are stressful and many times after the event is over all the strong feelings dissipate.”

“For our wedding, we did a small cake with cupcakes for guests.”

“The bakery stated we never paid for the order (we did), and that we would not be getting cupcakes for 150 guests until we paid again.”

“This was maybe 2 hours before the ceremony was to start.”

“We didn’t yell at them, just stated that we paid for everything else in advance (we ordered multiple items from them for the wedding).”

“Why wouldn’t we also pay for the cupcakes at the same time?”

“In the end, they agreed to give us the cupcakes ‘without paying’ and we would work with them the next day to figure out what to do.”

“By next day they found the receipt showing our payment and called us saying so and to disregard what they had said the day prior.”

“Honestly throughout that whole endeavor, I wasn’t mad at anyone and found it a bit amusing.”

“I was just happy I got to spend that time with family and friends and that I got to marry the love of my life that day.”

“I hope your (ex) friend realizes that too and I hope y’alls friendship can endure this.”  ~ foxyshazam16

“NTA. It’s ridiculous.”

“A couple of years ago, a bride pulled up the same stunt.”

“She invited her ‘bestie’ (a professional baker) and asked her to do the cake, candy bar, etc. as a wedding gift.”

“Baker friend agreed, she was also a MOH, everything seemed cool… until 2 days before the wedding, when the bridezilla asked for her boyfriend’s name.”

“Upon learning that she was single, bridezilla disinvited her, offered to meet for lunch the 2 of them instead and asked for the whole for free.”

“Became way aggressive when the ex-bestie said ‘no way.'”

“Ex-friend exposed this all on social media.”

“Turns out, fiancée had actually paid for it, bridezilla gave all away for something else and ended up not getting married.” ~ Bell957

“I still think you’re NTA.”

“It seems the bride didn’t bother to clarify what that means.”

“She also made a big assumption that the cake was paid for, fully knowing neither she nor the groom paid for it.”

“She didn’t bother to clarify what you specifically meant, just assumed you just weren’t hand-delivering the cake.”  ~ ImagineSnapDragons

“NTA. Letting the order stand and being paid back later is nice in theory, but considering there was just a major fallout here, I think it’s fair to assume there wasn’t going to be an amicable return of costs to you.”

“You were no longer responsible for wedding gifts or procedures since you were no longer involved in the wedding, and you gave them a heads up.”

“It was their responsibility from that point forward.”

“They could have immediately called and re-ordered the same cake to maintain the bakery’s planned schedule, but didn’t.”  ~ CocoBee88

Well OP, sounds like Reddit is with you and your decision.

No invite, no present… no cake.