Art is subjective. What one person might consider a work of exquisite beauty, others might consider a piece of total garbage.
It can be pretty surprising to discover that those near and dear to you might not share your opinion of a specific work of art.
Even more awkward, however, is when you don’t particularly like a piece of art created by someone close to you.
Redditor paintypaint23’s girlfriend felt that he needed to brighten up his home a bit more, so she gave him one of her paintings, which she took great pride in.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) was not particularly fond of this painting and was even embarrassed to display it in his home.
Feeling honesty was the best policy, he made it no secret to his girlfriend why he chose not to hang up her painting.
His honest opinion, however, was anything but appreciated by her.
Concerned about how he handled things, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to hang up the artwork my girlfriend got me for my birthday?”
The OP explained why he couldn’t bring himself to display his girlfriend’s painting in his home:
“My (26 M[ale]) birthday was a few weeks ago.”
“My girlfriend, 24, and her friend are into things that I find a little outlandish and weird.”
“I love her and her uniqueness, and I appreciate what she does, but I do think some of their habits and interests are unusual.”
“We do not live together.”
“She’s made comments about how I need more artwork, and I agreed.”
“She got me artwork.”
“A homemade piece of artwork that she was given the idea through TikTok or something.”
“Her best friend also did the same thing for her boyfriend.”
“The best I can describe it is like she made a print of her a** and legs/thighs on a canvas.”
“It’s like she sat in paint and then sat on the canvas.”
“Or something like that.”
“Honestly, It must have turned out really well because you can clearly tell it’s an a** and legs.”
“The problem just arose recently because she came over and found the painting in my closet.”
“She asked why it’s not up, and I tried to dance around it.”
“I did tell her (the truth) that my parents stop by sometimes, and I didn’t want them to see it.”
“She started telling me that the picture is ‘beautiful’ and I should want to ’embrace her’ and some more lines about how I should ’embrace our intimacy’.”
‘I told her that, honestly, I find it off-putting. I think it is weird and borderline creepy.”
“I told her I am very uncomfortable hanging up something like that, and if she checked with me first, I would have told her.”
“She asked if I truly wasn’t going to hang it up.”
“I told her no, I will never consider putting that on my walls, but I appreciate the thought.”
“She started crying, said I’m an ungrateful ahole, and she took the painting and said she will hang it up at her place.”
“She said her friend’s boyfriend loves the one he got, so she can’t get why I’m being such a jerk about this.”
‘I don’t think I’m a jerk for not wanting an, albeit artistic, nude of my girlfriend on my walls.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole\
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to display his girlfriend’s nude portrait.
Everyone agreed that regardless of the content of the painting, the OP had the final choice of what he did and didn’t display in his own home, and his discomfort with displaying this particular painting was more than valid:
“NTA.”
“That’s the kind of gift you only get someone if they’re 100% into nude artwork and are comfortable with displays of sexual intimacy.”
“Plus the length of your relationship comes into play here: I wouldn’t want the a** of my gf of 6 months on the wall, but gf of 2 years could be a different story.”- allkindsoftired
“NTA.”
“I think you handled it well.”
“Maybe ask if her she could paint something else that plays into her creativity and still meets your boundaries?”- Abject_Inside7644
“NTA artwork in one’s home is very personal, and you shouldn’t have to display something you don’t like – especially when said artwork is just her sitting in paint.”
“I’ve seen that trend. Personally, I think it’s tacky and stupid, but to each their own.”
“And your opinion is no.”
“Go to a local art fair or Etsy or something and find some pieces YOU like.”- Jerseygirl2468
NTA. I wouldn’t want my partner of over a decade’s body art on any of my walls either. But that art isn’t to my tastes, nor would I want my body displayed for randos and strangers to view in someone else’s home. It might just be that you have very different tastes in artwork and are incompatible in how sexually explicit you’re willing to have your home decor.
“The comments about it being creepy would be worse if she hadn’t kept pushing on the issue.”
“If you were polite about it until backed into a corner, it’s somewhat understandable.”
“I assume your gf was expecting her sexual vulnerability to be met with a similar appreciation her friend got, and she’s reacting badly because society doesn’t condition women well for the idea that they may be sexually rejected in any way.”
“I hadn’t heard of this on TikTok, but my friend has mentioned a similar thing happening on reality shows she watches where they had couples make these paintings together (I don’t watch those but I think it was the Bachelor/Bachlorette?).”
“The concept has always seemed extremely awkward to me unless you have a really specific art taste.”
“It seems weird to explicitly display yourself, even in paint form, for whatever guests you have over.”
“And that seems like a really weird thing to decorate around.”
“This also is a terrible gift.”
“She wanted you to have more artwork.”
“She wanted you to respond to her in an appreciative way.”
“It’s in the same vein as ‘gifting’ wearing lingerie and has a lot of the same issues as that concept does.”
“I think responses would be very different if a guy made a clone-a-willy into the base of a table lamp and his girlfriend didn’t want that on her bedside table or in a small apartment where guests see most of the space.”- notthedefaultname
“She’s weird.”
“NTA If there was a place in your house that guests typically don’t go (master bathroom? Bedroom?) maybe that would be a good spot to hang it up?”
“But honestly I think it’s weird that she’s upset you won’t hang it up when your parents and any visitors could see it and by the sounds of it, easily tell it’s an a**.”
“Anyone can do what they want with their home decor, but I wouldn’t want people to be subjected to that or explain what it is haha.”- CrazyCranberry3333
“NTA.”
“Most people do not want intimate or sexual art displayed in their homes, period.”
“It’s a very specific person who is okay with that.”
“I have friends bringing kids to my house.”
“One day I might display fine life drawing art which are usually nudes, but there’s a big difference between that and a literal A** PRINT.”
“Assuming it would be fine and then shaming you for not wanting to display it is not cool on your gf’s part.”
“I understand being upset a gift is not received well, especially a homemade one, but she’s taking it out on you instead of dealing with the feelings herself.”- earthenlily
“NTA.”
“Your girlfriend has equated you not liking the painting with you not liking her when that’s not the case.”
“Surely she knew this kind of art wouldn’t be to your taste, but went ahead anyway.”- RoyallyOakie
“NTA.”
“It’s totally reasonable to have boundaries about what kind of art you’re comfortable displaying, especially with family around.”
“You appreciate her effort, but everyone has different tastes when it comes to personal or intimate decor.”
“It’s more about mismatched expectations than ungratefulness.”- Moist_Programmer_560
“NTA.”
“Of course, you’re NTA for not wanting to put pornography art on your walls.”
“Your gf sounds very immature.”
“No I don’t want your butthole on my walls for my parents to see, wtf.”- buttpickles99
It was generous of the OP’s girlfriend to provide him with a work of art for his walls.
However, maybe she could have asked him about what sorts of things he might like displaying.
And if she really did have some concerns about their “intimacy,” as the OP mentioned, the best place to do that would probably be with a therapist, not with one of her own paintings.