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Man Stunned After His Wife Suggests He Have Sex With Her Friend In Anticipation Of Having A Threesome

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Monogamy as the only acceptable or viable relationship model has given way in recent years. But no mater the dynamics of a relationship, all parties need to be comfortable.

A husband whose wife proposed some sexual experimentation with her childhood friend turned to Reddit for advice when he found himself uncomfortable with some aspects of the arrangement.

Redditor 3somehelpp posted:

“My wife wants me to have sex with her friend before us having a threesome.”

He explained:

“So this is a weird situation. I’ll lay it out and then give the relationship(s) background, incase you are interested to hear the whole bit before having all the details.”

“I have been married to my wife for 3 years. My wife and I have a good sex life, very vanilla, and are both seemingly happy.”

“For myself, I wish we had more frequency (about a week-week and a half right now), and she was a bit more active during the deed; both issues we’ve talked about, my but wife is content, so it’s not a big deal.”

“During conversations about our lives and past, my wife has never had an experience with a woman. She is very straight, and has been seemingly turned off by the idea of her with another woman. I believe all of this to be true.”

“So on Sunday night she approaches me and she’s being super apologetic and telling me she doesn’t want to scare me, and she loves me, and she thinks everything is going great, so I’m a bit worried, but not a lot because she’s being in a chipper mood.”

“She drops the bombshell that she wants me to consider the idea of having a woman join us occasionally for a threesome. She quickly said it would be something we’d have to work up to (??) and if I don’t like the idea she won’t bring it up again.”

“Again, very cautious and nice acting.”

“She said she was thinking about her friend Jane joining us, but before we all participated, wanted me to have sex with her a couple time until I was comfortable enough to try all three, and I could back out anytime I wanted or not want to do this at all.”

“I asked why, and she said that Jane has been through a lot lately, and just want some physical intimacy and they were talking about their past experiences and threesomes…and well my wife told Jane it might be something my wife and I want to try. I told my wife can I have a week to think about it.”

“She said sure, and hasn’t said anything since Sunday (now Wednesday). I think my wife thinks I’m a easily frightened character. Maybe I am.”

The Original Poster (OP) then added a few details regarding the relationship they all currently have.

“So background info: I’m an average looking guy, very tall, and fat.”

“Objectively, I’d probably be a lot more attractive if I lost a good chunk of weight. I’ve always complimented my wife on her looks, told she’s attractive to me, and I like everything about her (I do).”

“I don’t give her backhanded compliments or put her down. I think I have a good personality and sense of humor, but I’m not very outgoing and kind of introverted.”

“My wife is perfect for me. If I were trying to be objective for Reddit…I’d say she’s average+ looking. She’s overweight and has a scar above an eyebrow.”

“I know the latter two give her a lot of body image issues. She’s always very concerned on her looks, and won’t so much go through the drive thru as a passenger if she doesn’t think she looks presentable.”

“She’s a very sociable and well-liked woman. My wife relies on recommendations and advice from her friends and family for all matters of life. I’m not saying she’s easily persuaded, but she’s in that realm.”

“Jane is a very attractive, probably what many would consider to be a 10/10. She is divorced, has a 2 year old child, an estranged baby-daddy many states away, and has always had a rough time in relationships.”

“She isn’t arrogant, but I think she’s very high maintenance.”

“Jane and I: I don’t know her well. I’ve talked to her, I’ve never been to a party or event with her, and that’s the extent of it. I never got the feeling she even recognized my existence much to be honest. It’s very confusing on why/how I got suggested for this thing.”

“Wife and Jane were very close friends in grade school, drifted apart in middle school, and now are friends. Jane just moved back to the area, so they probably talk once a month or so and occasionally run into each other.”

“Jane was invited to wedding, so she’s that level of friend at least. I wouldn’t consider them great friends or even on a constant talking basis. They’re just friends.”

“The best I can surmise is that Jane was interested in something with somebody, wife and her got to talking, and it piqued Jane’s interest enough to start working on my wife and convince her to give it a shot. WHY it’s me and Jane first, and then all three, I have no idea.”

“Again, my wife has always come off to me as very very straight. The whole thing is mind boggling.”

“SO the reason I’m here on reddit asking advice is because I see both options are negative.”

Am I curious? Yes. Am I attracted to Jane? Not emotionally, and I certainly don’t stare at her body or anything.”

“I’m not against the idea of a threesome necessarily, but I’ve never put any real thought towards it, and not sure how it would impact our marriage in the long run. And the pre-sex thing with Jane ahead of time seems really strange, and not sure at all how I feel about that.”

“I’m worried ultimately about hurting my wife’s feelings.”

“I know her body image issues and I can’t ignore Jane is physically a better looking woman, so I don’t want that to be an issue. I don’t want to go along with this if it would upset my wife, or make her think I like someone else, or it’s a competition, or whatever.”

“But I don’t want to say no and have my wife disappointed and maybe find other avenues to express curiosity, or create further resentment…or I don’t know. Just feels like a giant powder keg.”

Redditors told the OP what he probably already sensed.

This won’t work if he’s uncomfortable for any reason.

“This sounds like a disaster in the making. It’s possible your wife may have a kink/fetish for seeing you with another woman that she has never explored. ‘Oh this super hot woman wants my husband XYZ… look at my husband bone this super hot woman’.”

“The reality of her watching that will be far different than the fantasy. I think this would end up making your wife insecure on a nuclear level.”

“I personally wouldn’t touch this with a 10 foot pole.”

“Wanna improve your sex life? I think there are about 1000 steps to take before considering adding another person into the mix. Both of you moving towards a healthy weight and better cardio would be the most obvious start.” ~ STOpeful

The fact the OP posted “I’m not against the idea of a threesome necessarily” gave people pause.

“Not good enough. If you aren’t both incredibly enthusiastic about the idea, a threesome can cause tons of relationship issues.”

“I’d walk away from the proposition entirely. Fantasy and reality are very different.” ~ xanif

“You sound like you both love each other a lot. I’m not sure this is something either of you really want.”

“You want her to be less inhibited, she wants you to be happy. Work on those issues and you’re sorted.” ~ humanriff

“To me this seems like a no win scenario. You said your wife is perfect for you, you’re happy with your sex life (wish it were more frequent maybe but content), and you have a healthy marriage.”

“Upside of sleeping with your wife’s friend and then having a threesome? You get to sleep with your wife’s friend you have no emotional connection to and your wife gets to watch you perform on another woman and it’s something you both continue to do.”

“Downside? You feel guilty for having sex with another woman, you go through with the threesome out of desire to please your wife, your wife sees you having sex with another woman and realizes this is a terrible idea.”

“She becomes so upset she can’t look at you or her friend. Your marriage dissolves and you’re left alone. Maybe you can still bang the friend.”

“I just don’t really see a big win for you here. Maybe more sex, but is that worth losing your wife? It sounds to me that Jane makes bad decisions and she’s put this idea in your wife’s head as ‘something every couples does once or twice to spice things up’.”

“Maybe she’s read into you wanting more sex with her and thinks maybe you’d like this. Not blaming you, it’s healthy to communicate.”

“I’d talk with your wife and ask why she’s offering this and tell her she’s more than enough for you and you’re not comfortable having sex with someone else and you wouldn’t enjoy it. If those things are true. Good luck to you!” ~ gingerpopfizz

The OP did not return to update if they came to a decision, but if they listened to the advice offered they decided not to go for the threesome. No one saw it ending well if they did.

Amelia Mavis Christnot

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka and Metis Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. She considers herself another proud Maineiac. Her picture is from 1984 for purely Orwellian reasons.