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New Mom Called ‘Gross’ By Mother-In-Law For Hanging A Breastfeeding Photo In Baby’s Nursery


Breastfeeding is a hot button topic, it has been for generations.

The struggle over when and where a mother should be able to feed her newborn is always argued over.

But no one anticipates having a disagreement about doing it in your own home.

Case in point…

Redditor throwRAtitsahoy wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for telling my MIL to either deal with looking at my t*ts or get out?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (28 F[emale]) just gave birth to twins.”

“They’re a month old.”

“My husband (32 M[ale]) and I really struggled with fertility, so I’ve gone a bit all out with our nursery.”

“There’s a black and white picture of me breastfeeding the twins framed on one of the walls.”

“I love it, my husband loves it and my mum loves it.”

“My husband had an unavoidable day trip for work last week, so he was gone all day.”

“My mother was due to come over to help me out with the twins after her doctor’s appointment.”

“My M[other] I[n] L[aw] stopped by unexpectedly.”

“I let her in because although she can be a bit annoying, she loves her grandchildren and she’s happy that we finally managed to have some babies.”

“I let her into the nursery to see them sleeping, and that’s when she noticed the picture.”

“She’s never seen it before.”

“I found them awake, so I let her join me in the nursery as I breastfed.”

“She couldn’t shut up about the picture.”

“According to her it’s gross and inappropriate.”

“I know breastfeeding with your t*ts out is a bit weird to the older generations, but this is my nursery.”

“If my t*ts were that annoying, she could just get out.”

“She kept saying that I should take it down, and then actually took it off the wall herself.”

“That’s when I snapped.”

“I put my son down, and I took the picture from her.”

“I said ‘you can either deal with looking at my t*ts or get out of the room.”

“She got extremely offended and left the house.”

“F[ather] I[n] L[aw] called me later and said the language I used was disgusting and that I should apologize.”

“I honestly just hung up without responding and decided to wait for hubby to get home.”

“I have post partum distress so I really cannot deal with bulls**t at the moment.”

“My husband told them to leave me alone, but then he said that I should’ve picked my words better.”

“I told him to tell his mother she wasn’t welcome in the nursery ever again.”

“MIL is still demanding an apology and FIL said I’m being a ‘total cow.'”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“Send him a pic of you breastfeeding with the caption ‘moo.'”

“When I was breastfeeding I felt like a literal cow, so that gives me a chuckle.”

“NTA. Perhaps your in-laws shouldn’t be allowed over when your husband isn’t home.”

“That way he can stand up for you and pick the words himself, since he is concerned about your phrasing.” ~ bright_copperkettles

“Wow, if she’s offended by boobs, your MIL would’ve been horrified when my daughter started singing along to ‘Uptown Funk’ in the car one day.”

“I’m driving, Mom’s in the passenger seat, and Ashley’s in her car seat in the back.”

“Halfway through the song we hear her attempting to sing along and turn it down a little just in time to hear her sing ‘uptown f**k you up, uptown f**k you up.'”

“We were practically in tears from laughter.”

“Another time, daughter came and found me and stated this gem: ‘Mommy, President Trump is fu**ing stupid, isn’t he?'”

“Her dad’s favorite swear word is the f bomb, if you hadn’t noticed.”

“And then there’s the time she was jumping on mom’s bed as a toddler and repeating ‘f**king’ over and over.”

“She got in trouble her picking up that word at the time.”

“And of course boob was popped out when she was hungry… until she started biting.”

“Then I felt like the cow with breast pump.”  ~ Waterbaby8182

“NTA and congrats on the twins.”

“MIL should know it’s a pic of what boobs are made for.”

“The super-sexy-funtime aspect of them is simply a bonus for what is, in essence, drink dispensers for newborns.”

“If she’s offended by your twins on your twins, then MIL can find the door.”  ~ ivanthemute

“NTA. You had the picture in the nursery, not the living room, for Pete’s sake!”

“Would she criticize an intimate portrait of you and your husband hanging in your bedroom?”

“These are private places.”

“Not public, where she might be justified to dish out her opinion.”

“Even then… it’s your house!”  ~ micky584

“NTA. You should get a little knitted hat that looks like a naked t*t to put on your babies‘ heads when you breastfeed them though, for when she comes over again.”  ~ FeuerLohe

“My own mother was telling me recently how hard she was shamed for breastfeeding in the 80s.”

“Apparently it was not a popular option at the time.”

“So I’m less than shocked when boomers respond with ‘ew, boobs’ to young breastfeeding mothers.”

“They, themselves were bombarded with ‘ew, boobs’ messaging when they were raising their own kids.”  ~ DiTrastevere

“I’m sorry, OP, but you might start polishing your narrative writing skills, because I have a sneaking suspicion you’re gonna end up a regular on r/JustNoMIL.”

“Win for the rest of us, major loss for you.”

“Gleeful condolences. NTA. Obviously.”  ~ SaltRevolutionary917

“NTA. She can simply remove herself from the room if she is uncomfortable.”

“And what language did you use???”

“All you said was t*ts… did she prefer for you to say breasts? (insert annoyed eye roll towards MIL).”

“The audacity too?!”

“To actually remove the picture off the wall, out of line and unnecessary.”

“You did the right thing. Congrats on the babies!!!”  ~ fvckdxt

“NTA, but your husband should present a united front with you instead of language policing.”

“The whole family is way out of line.”

“If you really want to crumble her cookie, tell her to go to hell and go no contact.”  ~ HelpfulAnywhere3731

“NTA. This is your children’s nursery, not the living room (which would still be your prerogative).”

“The audacity of MIL actually taking the picture down is beyond unacceptable and rude.”

“If the word “t*t’s” sets them off? Tough t*tty’s!”  ~ BengalBBQ

“It’s not gross or inappropriate at all, breastfeeding has always been depicted in art.”

“There is a carved plaque of a woman breastfeeding in a museum in Iraq that is at least 3500 years old.”

“There were murals showing breastfeeding on the walls of Pompeii.”

“Catholics have always liked showing the Virgin Mary with her boobs out, art museums in Europe are literally packed with Renaissance paintings of baby Jesus having his lunch.”

“Your photo is part of a tradition older than history, your MIL has no idea what she’s talking about.” ~ MediumSympathy

“NTA. Your home, your rules. If they don’t like it, leave.”

“Not that hard to understand.”

“Your MIL is acting entitled and expects things to go her way just because she says so.”  ~ 9s2s

“NTA. She comes into your home and is rude af… and wants an apology?”

“That woman needs a reality check.”

“I’d let her and FIL know they aren’t welcome until they can remember that it’s your home and you can say whatever the f**k you want in your home.”  ~ Ok-Mode-2038

“NTA. You get to feed and decorate your nursery any way you see fit.”

“She has a lot of nerve a- coming over unannounced…”

“b- expecting to see the children…”

“c- complaining about the picture…”

“d- removing it from the wall. Why do you have to be polite to someone who is questioning and demanding?”

“You don’t owe her an apology, both of his parents owe you one.”

“Personally, if she continues to come over unannounced, I would put copies of that picture in every room.”  ~ unionmom4

“I’m a grandma, and I find your MIL’s attitude appalling.”

“You are NTA and you are not a ‘total cow.'”

“Your MIL and FIL both owe you massive apologies.”

“Your in-laws’ words were obnoxious, judgmental, disrespectful, insulting, and cruel.”

“Your husband should come down on his parents HARD, not criticize your choice of words.”

“Congratulations on your twins!”

“They are lucky little babies to have a mom who can breastfeed them (not everyone can).”

“I wish you and your babies a peaceful and healthy first year.”

“The first year is best if only shared with people who fully support you through the joys and challenges.”

“Keep the drama out of your home.”  ~ justmeat23

“NTA. An honest question, how does one breastfeed not one but two babies not taking them out??”

“I had those nursing bras were you pulled a piece down, but the whole breast was out.”  ~ Status-Thing-118

Reddit is with you OP.

Your home, your walls, your rules.

Hopefully the in-laws will come around and you all can move past this.

Congrats on the twins.