“No good deed goes unpunished” traces it’s most likely origins to a 12th-century Latin text titled De nugis curialium by Welsh writer Walter Map. Latin was the language of the church and scholarship at the time.
The phrase described a character who “left no good deed unpunished, no bad one unrewarded.” The phrase gained popularity in the mid-1900s through American author, playwright, politician, and diplomat Clare Boothe Luce.
Luce’s most successful play was The Women. After success on Broadway, it was turned into a hit Hollywood film.
Regardless of origin, the phrase means attempts to help others or do the right thing often result in negative consequences, ungratefulness, or personal loss for the doer whereas apathy carries far fewer risks.
A neighbor who tried to do the right thing turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after their efforts were met with anger.
ShunnedForTheTruth asked:
“AITA for storing food that was mis-delivered to me?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I just moved into a new place and food was mis-delivered to my address. There were perishables, so I decided to store it in my fridge and freezer until the owner (would hopefully) showed up.”
“I didn’t want food to go to waste since I didn’t know if they’d show up today or next week, or at all. I kept everything in the original delivery bags with the original tags.”
“Initially, I assumed the old renters of my unit just forgot to change their delivery address. I had no way of knowing if they were still local or somewhere in another state or even another country.”
“Either way, I felt it best to not risk wasting food so I’d hold onto it for a reasonable amount of time until figuring out what to do with it.”
“Well, fortunately a few hours later, someone knocks on my door. I open up, and the lady shows me her phone that has a picture of the food that was delivered to my door. Awesome!”
“Well, she went off on me for ‘stealing’ her food. ‘You don’t steal people’s food! Why would you do that‽’.”
“I explained to her what I just explained to you all, and all she could do was roll her eyes and chew and cuss me out. ‘Next time you don’t touch my food! You leave it here!’.”
“I told her that I’ll just let her food spoil next time, then. I explained that I had no idea of who owned it, how long it’d take for someone to show up, and that I had everything in their original bags with tags completely untouched.”
“She just kept yelling at me.”
“Was I wrong in my thinking? What would you have done? Risk all that food going to waste?”
The OP later added:
“But to answer some of the questions I’m seeing:”
“• yeah it’s winter, that occurred to me as well. But the temps swing so much that it’s not safe to keep food outside.”
• I live in an apartment complex so I figured it’d be easy for someone to find my unit if they lived here. But I didn’t know for sure if it belonged to another unit or the previous renter.”
• I thought about contacting the delivery company, but I figured they wouldn’t be able to do much about it since I wasn’t the one who ordered it. It seemed to me that if someone was missing their delivery, then they’d need to decide to contact the delivery company personally.”
“I was just trying to keep their food safe if they ever decided to knock on my door.”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“I stored food in my fridge and freezer that was mis-delivered to me instead of keeping it outside. Could this make me the a**hole despite best intentions?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO – more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. ‘Next time’ she can send it to the correct f*ing address.” ~ _use_r_name_
“Next time its your food.” ~ internetisporn8008
“This time it should have been OPs food, too. After about 10-15 minutes of a courtesy window, I’d be considering it clearly abandoned and replaced by the delivery app. A few hours later? That a-hole neighbor definitely realized after the fact that they wanted to double dip and get twice what they ordered.” ~ Fancy-Trousers
“NTA, but next time tell her you will throw the food out. She can’t ask you to leave it there. Your home is not her drop-off point.” ~ lord_buff74
“NTA. Any reasonable person would’ve appreciated your kindness in keeping the perishable items in the fridge. Since you know she’ll chew you out next time, just leave any mis-delivered items in front of your door.” ~ Far_Quantity_6133
“I’d be throwing any mis-delivered items for this person into the street next time if it were me. That, or eating it if it looks tasty.” ~ zupto
“NTA. We get stuff delivered to our neighbors across the street CONSTANTLY (once, even got a confirmation photo with the absolutely wrong house number smack dab in the middle of it). I have no idea why.”
“They’re a lovely older couple that we have no expectation will schlep a delivery over to our place, so usually they just let the delivery hang out on their porch. Bringing it inside and properly refrigerating it would be going above and beyond standard neighborly graciousness.” ~ no_apollonia
“NTA. You left it in the original bags. That would have been a signal to me you weren’t stealing.” ~ norcalgirl95589
“I don’t think it’s stealing if it’s delivered to your address. You’re not a porch pirate when it’s your porch.”
“If it’s delivered to another address and you go there and take it, sure, but to your actual address? NTA.” ~ enjolbear
“NTA. If this had happened to me, I’d have been delighted that the person thought to put my perishables in the fridge and freezer!” ~ NarrativeScorpion
“My neighbour was grateful when his eggs got left at my door by mistake. They were dropped off at night during a rainstorm, and right then I did not feel like going door-knocking to see if anyone was expecting 60 eggs.”
“I asked around in the morning and, sure enough, they were for number 8a, not number 8. He was happy I stored them appropriately and got them where they needed to go.” ~ MillennialPolytropos
“I don’t understand. My neighbors did this for me once and I was so grateful I bought them a case of beer, because I thought I had just lost $200 in groceries. NTA, your neighbor is nuts.” ~ PM_ME_CAT_POOCHES
“NTA. Next time‽‽ Does she plan to have her food delivered to your house often?”
“Was the address on the receipt your address, or was it a different address (aka, the delivery guy messed up). If she is having the food sent to your address, next time you take it and don’t give it back. Your front door is not her personal delivery zone.”
“What you did was kind and respectful, by the way. I would be very pleased if someone thoughtfully stored my food for me.” ~ Condensates
“OP should have told her there better not be a next time.” ~ readergirl35
“NTA. No good deed goes unpunished!”
“Next time I’d eat it myself and pretend I never got it.” ~ GreekAmericanDom
“NTA. You should have just kept the food and told her you tossed it.” ~ thoracicbunk
“NTA. The neighbor can also reach out to the app and usually get it refunded for incorrect delivery…which she may have done and gotten the food for free.” ~ RockabillyRabbit
“NTA. I’d have told her to fu*k off and shut the door in her face. If items are delivered to my house, they are mine. It’s not your problem and you were trying to be nice. She’s a bi*tch.” ~ Missrdb79
“NTA. Thank you for being a good neighbor.”
“I see many comments on here blasting the woman for sending it to the wrong place. It may not have been her fault. Delivery drivers make mistakes all the time.”
“The woman was understandably upset that she had to track down her food, but she took out her frustration on the wrong person. You were kind. I hope this experience doesn’t stop you from continuing to be kind.” ~ donnacus
“NTA—she sounds like she’s just doubling down on her original thought that it was ‘stolen’ and isn’t listening to your very rational explanation.”
“You at least thought about what would happen to the food and tried to do what was best for the ‘owner’.”
“Tell her hopefully she does her ordering properly so there won’t be a next time, and she can be sure that you’ll just put her food on the sidewalk so she stays off your property.”
“What a miserable woman.” ~ LiveKindly01
“NTA, this was very thoughtful of you OP, OP. She was overreacting. The only thing that I can think is she probably had a bad experience in the past with people stealing her food, but you did nothing wrong.” ~ Lil_Sassy
“NTA…You did nothing wrong. She is ungrateful. She needed to say thanks for watching out for my stuff. I had this happen a couple of times in NYC, and never did I get yelled at.” ~ Cubadog
The OP provided a short update:
“Thanks for the reassuranc,e everyone. I love the sassy responses a lot of you have recommended.”
“Unfortunately, I have a disability, so it’s difficult to assert myself and to communicate as clearly as I would like to.”
No good deed…