No two parents have the same parenting style, particularly when it comes to rules and regulations.
Even two parents in the same house might have completely different ideas as to what is right and wrong when it comes to raising their children.
Such was the case with Redditor glued_to_the_TV, who found himself in hot water with his wife after being solely in charge of their children for a day.
Subsequently concerned about his behavior, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit, “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA I didn’t take care of the kids properly while my wife was gone?”
The OP first explained the situation which left him fully in charge of the house for a day.
“Yesterday, my wife had to go meet her mom who was sick.”
“She’s a Stay at home mom and our babysitter had college work so she couldn’t come.”
“So I took 2 days off to take care of the kids(11 M[ale] and 13 F[emale’).”
“My wife left home before the kids woke up because she had to catch a bus to her mom’s place.”
Seeing an opportunity for a little change, not to mention fun, the OP veered away from their usual routine when it comes to food and entertainment.
“My wife usually makes really really healthy food for the kids.”
“So I thought one cheat day wouldn’t hurt them.”
“I made eggs, bacon and waffles for breakfast.”
“The 13-year-old (yo) wanted to eat this curry that my mom makes.”
“So I took the recipe from my mom and prepared that for lunch.”
“The 11yo said that he wanted burger and fries for dinner.”
“So dinner was sorted as well.”
“They then wanted to watch the new ‘Spiderman’ movie and make peanut butter ice cream.”
“My wife doesn’t like those kinds of movies so the kids rarely get to watch them either.”
“So basically it was a full day of fun for the kids.”
Things went back to normal the day the OP’s wife came home, but when she heard about her children’s day of fun the OP’s wife was not at all pleased.
“Today, I made healthy meals for the kids.”
“Porridge and fruit for breakfast, cauliflower soup and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch.”
“When my wife came home at around 4 pm, she was really tired so she took a nap until dinner.”
“While we were prepping for dinner, the kids were sitting at the dining table and telling their mom all about yesterday.”
“She was smiling throughout the confederation so I thought she wasn’t mad at me or anything.”
“However, after the kids were put to bed and we were in our room, she started saying that I’m am irresponsible father and that I shouldn’t have been so lenient with the kids for an entire day.”
“She said that I’m a lost cause at parenting and that she shouldn’t have left the kids with me.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Not one person saw any way the OP was the a**hole in this scenario, with just about all of Reddit seeing nothing more than a loving, caring father.
Many felt a little change in their routine was probably much needed for the OP’s children.
“Lmfao absolutely not.”
“My dad (a wonderful father who was totally present in our lives) would do ‘lion kill’ dinner if mom wasn’t home.”
“Looking back, it was essentially a charcuterie board, but at the time it was SO MUCH FUN!”
“We’d stand in the kitchen, eat food with our hands and kind of randomly growl at each other.”
“Some of my favorite memories.”
“I do remember various sit down meals with the entire family when my mom was cooking, I don’t mean to denigrate her at all.”
“But that was just.. normal?”
“Something about the change from ‘normal’ and throwing the rules out with dad was so special.”
“He WAS NOT incompetent.”
“He just…. had us do things dad’s way, and it was FUN.”
“So I think that’s what’s going on here.”
“Your wife expected you to keep to the ‘normal’ routine.”
“You did something different and fun.”
“Your kids will remember ‘dad day’.”-kai7yak.
“Your kids had a fabulous day.”
“You still cooked 2/3 meals.”
“Also, living a healthy life is about balance.”
“Eating really super healthy all the time can actually be hard for kids when they are older.”
“It’s about creating healthy relationships with food.”-A5KALIC3.
Others felt the OP’s wife was clearly in the wrong for her hurtful words as she should have noticed the kids felt safe and loved under their father’s care.
“Eggs bacon and waffles can be healthy if eaten in moderation.”
“Curry can be yummy and it’s not like you ordered it out, you ACTUALLY COOKED!”
“Most women would kill to have a man that knew how to cook, would cook for the kids, and didn’t fuss about it, and knew enough variety to keep the kids fed and satisfied.”
“Cauliflower soup and ham and cheese sandwiches?”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME? “
“THAT’S IRRESPONSIBLE AND LENIENT?!?!”
“And Spiderman is not good for kids?!?!?”
“This woman needs some kind of counseling if she truly believes this.”
“The ONLY way you are TA is if you whipped up a storm in the kitchen to win the kids over, and then left a kitchen full of dishes in the sink and went to nap or play video games or watch movies instead of clean up.”-AbbyFB6969.
“Your wife sounds like she needs to have a firm grasp on their lives of something.”
“I was anticipating something like “left kids who can’t cook to cook for themselves and told them to leave you alone’ or something.”
“You sound like an amazing dad??”
“Would have paid to have this kind of parenting??”
“Is there a particular reason your wife feels the need to take all of their choices away? “
“Genuinely curious if she’s given you a reason for this kind of parenting?”-Arianna104.
“NTA when I read the title I imagined you’d been left in charge of two wee ones.”
“Now one has really bad rash as you didn’t change diaper enough and one has concussion.”
“So you made them proper food they enjoyed and entertained them.”
“I think she’s jealous.”
“They had an awesome time.”
“Think she expected moans about your parental performance and cries of ‘don’t leave us again, mom!’
“Keep it up. But work as a team so they don’t think she’s the bad one.”-SereneGoldfish.
After more and more Redditors took aim at his wife in the comments section, the OP stepped forward to clarify a few things, both in regard to their parenting choices as well as his relationship with his wife and children.
“[The OP’s Wife] thinks they’re still kids and don’t understand how to make proper decisions.”
“I however just set boundaries that cannot be crossed and let them do what they want within those boundaries.”
“For example, my wife tells them that they can have junk only on Sundays.”
“I tell them they can have it whenever they like but it’s only going to be a set number of times per month(4-5).”
“She tells them that watching the iPad can be done only after homework whereas I tell them that homework has to be completed before dinner everyday.”
“They can do it in whatever order they like but the homework needs to be completed and not more than 1 hour of iPad.”
It seems that this is very much a household to be envied, with two loving parents, who simply have very different ideas of enforcing discipline.
Here’s hoping the OP and his wife can find a way to work off one another, rather than take each other down when there’s a disagreement.