It’s hard to imagine what things were like before the internet. There are relationships so complicated that you sometimes have no one else to ask but the Reddit hivemind.
And for one woman, the advice was sorely needed.
User ThrowRA-194802, the original poster (OP), explained the delicate and unique situation she was in.
“I (44F(emale)) walked in on my son (18M(ale)) having sex with my sister in law (34F)(brothers wife) in a cabin and I think they have been having sex for a while.”
Yikes!
OP goes on to explain that her brother and his family recently moved in with hers on her husband’s large farm.
“My brother(37M) moved in with us in February with his wife and 2 children, my husband(44M) and I have big house on a farm (my husband is a farmer) and with everyone working from home we thought it would be a good chance to stay together as family and for my nieces to spend time on the farm. I have 3 children and all of them live with us the oldest is 18M and the other two are 16F and 13F.”
But things started to get suspicious almost immediately.
“On the day my brother arrived I went to buy groceries with my son and he went to the pharmacy to get his gym supplements and I bought the food.”
“I saw condoms in my sons plastic bag when we arrived at the house two packs with 36 condoms each so 72 in total( didn’t think anything of it thought he had gotten a GF and wanted to be safe).”
Still, OP didn’t think too hard on it. After her brother’s family moved in, her SIL and son would go on morning runs together.
“Everything was fine every one got along my SIL and son would go on an early run around the farm everything seemed normal until last month when they left on their run but I was up baking and I never saw them make any rounds around the farm which was weird, I asked about it and they said they decided to hit the road (i thought nothing of this everything seemed normal). My SIL and son seemed to have a very good bond.”
OP was very happy that they seemed to get along. However, we all know where this is going.
“Yesterday I was coming from a friend’s house early in the morning the Sun wasn’t up yet and it was little dark but I saw that the cabin we have in the farm was open and the light was on.”
“I thought maybe one of the employees had forgotten to lock up, so I went to close the door and switch off the light as I got closer I heard people having sex and I took a peak and it was my son and SIL having sex, I didn’t confront them I was so in shock.”
“I still haven’t told anyone what I saw and I don’t know what to do, should I confront them, should I tell my brother, should I tell my husband I’m so confused.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I’m sure they have been having sex for a while from the condoms (my son was always at the house never brought a GF), the morning runs around the farm (do they really go on a run or do they have sex), the close relationship.”
This has gotten infinitely more complicated than most stories asking for relationship advice. It’s a delicate matter with family involved, but it’s also not one that many have experience with.
Who could you ask for advice on this? Hopefully, the internet can help.
The first thoughts were for her to keep everyone safe. Things are a little different when you live in a rural area, and people don’t want anyone to get hurt.
It never hurts to be careful.
“Your son (tbh all of your kids could stand to miss this event) needs to be off the property when you tell your brother. This is a traumatic situation and no one can predict how your brother will take the news. His wife has been cheating on him with his sister’s son.”
“Get the guns locked up.” – normanbeets
“I grew up on a farm and I’m just going to give you the advice no one here has yet- hide the guns. Lock them up in a safe if you have one and put the key in a new place. No matter how you handle this it’s gonna be bad.” – TreeCityKitty
OP updated that she was planning on doing just that.
“I know, this will be bad I’m even thinking of sending my son away before telling my brother.”
And Reddit was glad to hear it.
“Honestly that’s probably for the best. Don’t disclose where he’s going, either” – s_in_progress
Discussing things with her husband was another bit of advice people had for OP. This would allow her to have some support when she confronted the people involved in this scenario.
There was a still question on people’s minds though.
How long had something like this been going on with the SIL?
“Can’t believe [the son buying condoms] isn’t at the top.”
The son buying condoms on the day that they arrive implies that the sexual relationship has been going since AT LEAST before they moved in.”
“Based on the ages, the pre-existing nature of the sexual relationship, and her position as a close family member – this certainly looks as though it could be the result of years of SIL grooming the son.”– reddyBootboot
“Was anyone else concerned about the ages?? 34 and 18. If it has happened for a while now that’s definitely a major issue here! I would immediately tell my husband and then tell your brother. Talk to your son. I think you have deeper issues going on here than just a quickie in a cabin.” – estau329
“Make sure your son is okay, imagine this story if it was a 34M + 18f. Could easily be predatory/grooming behavior on her part.” – awesomedan24
The advice given by the internet can be hit and miss. Sometimes they get overzealous and suggest extreme action be taken almost immediately.
What’s presented here isn’t too bad, and for such a fragile situation it recommends some smart moves.
We hope things go as well for OP as they possibly can, but it’s understandable if it doesn’t. You can’t pick family, and you can’t predict how anyone will react to news like this.