in , ,

Mom Sparks Drama After Telling Her New Fiancé Her Daughter Will Be The Sole Heir Of Her Million-Dollar Home

Morsa Images/Getty Images

The subject of inheritance can be incredibly bitter.  The plots of so many books involve children being left out of the wills of wealthy parents, or else of money unexpectedly going to a family friend, or any point of dysfunctional drama.

Reddit user GiGiGi3 found herself at the inception point of one of these plots–except with her real life, when her fiancé was unhappy with her plans for the inheritance of their house.

Unsure if she was doing something wrong by planning out her will in this fashion, she went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for clarification:

“AITA for saying that my daughter inherits my house ‘no matter what’?”

Our original poster, or OP, set up the scenario by which her daughter and her house came to her:

“I’m a single mom in my 50s with one daughter. I got very lucky in that I bought a home in the Bay Area nearly 30 years ago for around $230K before the tech boom and now the house is worth about $1M.”

Her daughter has never been told one way or another whether she will own the house:

“I have a 23 year old daughter Camila who grew up in that house and she moved out last year to go live with her boyfriend.”

“I’ve never explicitly told my daughter ‘the house will be yours’ nor has she asked anything about it, but just sort of common sense – that’s my daughter. Who else would I give it to?”

But with SF prices, it just makes sense:

“One important note – There are 2 homes in the neighborhood that are owned by lower middle class people (me and a neighbor who’s been here as long as I have).”

“Otherwise, our neighbors are engineers and software developers. The Bay Area is simply un-affordable if you’re not in tech. My daughter is a hair stylist.”

OP and her fiancé are starting to make arrangements, and this is causing some friction:

“My fiancé Steven and I have been together for 2 years. He has 2 young children (elementary school) he has joint custody of who I adore and I’m excited to help raise them.”

“Steven and I don’t have a ton in the bank so a pre-nup seemed silly if it weren’t for the house. I told him that I’m ready to combine finances and plan long term with him, but I wanted a pre-nup agreement just for the house.”

The money and the two step-kids doesn’t fit for fiancé:

“It’s a non-negotiable for me that my daughter inherits the house. He wasn’t happy with this. He said that $1M split 3 ways is enough for all 3 kids to get a headstart in life. I disagree, I paid 80% of the mortgage by myself and Camila is my only child.”

“She can have her dream life (working as a hair stylist, living in the Bay Area) with this house but will be unhappy (have to move out to a less desirable area) if it’s split.”

“I spoke to Camila about this and she agrees that she should get the house and said she always planned on inheriting it, just like I always planned on giving it to her.”

Reddit helped OP understand her actions by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Reddit agrees that OP should be doing what she thinks is right with her property.

“NTA. You have been with this man 2 years and he is demanding that his kids receive an equal share of the home you paid for and raised your daughter in decades before he even existed for you? That’s absurd.”

“If you’re going to marry this man and merge finances with him, you need to speak to an attorney first and make sure your wishes you YOUR home will be followed in the event that anything should happen.”

“But first you should ask yourself, if you have to go to great lengths to protect your child from his greed and entitlement, if marriage and merging finances is something you really want to do with this person.”~SnakesCantWearPants

“NTA, OP.”

“That said, I understand both points of view – IF we are not assuming that the fiance is a gold-digger.”

“I totally get OP – my mom was fiercely protective of me, and if she ever had a house, I would have inherited it, no matter what. OP paid for the house herself, it’s the daughter’s childhood home – it’s a lot.”

“In my most charitable view of the fiance, I assume that he is looking into the future – when he and OP are very old, they raised his kids together, built memories with them, perhaps they called OP ‘mom,’ loved her as much as her daughter loved her.”

“And, in the end, they inherit obviously less, and on the day when they lose their parents, they are reminded that OP didn’t consider them as worthy of inheriting from her.”

“TBH, one solution would be to let the daughter have the house now, since it’s the fruit of OP labors alone and was meant for the daughter. OP and finace start together with a clean slate and whatever they build together will be inherited by all 3 kids in the end.”~uglykitten2020

“NTA and I second speaking with an attorney. A good prenup should address any divorce issues, but things could be tricky if something happens to you.”

“I don’t practice law in CA, so I have no idea what the rules are there, but some places have elective share rules that give a spouse the option to take a part of the estate even if it was not in the will.”

“There are probably things you can do to ensure your wishes are honored, but check with a lawyer to be sure.”~qrpc

“NTA. The house was purchased 30 years ago, long before you met Steven, and it is your separate property. I would not add him to your house deed.”

“I am not a lawyer, but I certainly would consult an attorney versed in estate law. I have my eyebrows raised that a fiancé’ of 2 years thinks his two children should get an equal share of your house that is your separate property, and that you have paid the mortgage on for nearly 30 years.”

“Please, protect yourself and contact an attorney.”~Babybleu

Though OP doesn’t denote whether or not her fiancé is incredibly unhappy with this or not, Reddit has interpreted it as so, and is cautioning OP.

“I have lived in Bay Area. 1/3 of that house will not go far for giving Camila the future you and she want her to have.”

“You are passing your good fortune, and hard work, on to your daughter. Makes perfect sense to me.”

“Between Steven and his ex, they have the right and responsibility to provide for their two children as best they can.”~abcwva

“That house has 30 more years of inflation, minimum, before it becomes hers.”

“The bay area is not going to have the bottom drop out. As you said, the neighborhood sort of gentrified around you.”

“By the time you pass it on to her, she could live there, or she could sell it, move anywhere else in the country, buy a house in cash, and retire on the rest. And that would be her choice to make, as she would at least be your age by that point, if not older.”

“Long story short, you worked your a** off to give your daughter that life. Don’t let any man try to take that from her.”

“Another item of note. California is crazy about common law property splits. Make sure you are free and clear of any type of situation like that if he tries to draw this out.”~C3POsGoldenShaft


“Don’t marry him if he refused to sign a prenup and get that desire in writing with your will or he and his kids will have grounds to contest it later.”

“Please don’t marry without a prenup even if you have to make it a long engagement. Don’t even set a date until he agrees and signs.”~dragoneggblaze

“This guy is basically just paying rent and he wants to control 33% of your assets?”

“Regardless of his intentions, that house is YOUR property and a prenup is a reasonable request in this situation.”

“Don’t back down, at the end of the day that house is for your daughter and you need to stand your ground.”


And Reddit is asking OP to protect herself.

“NTA. Please, please, please:”

“Do not give in on this. It’s too important to let feelings get in the way.”

“Reconsider getting married. Really. This guy does not sound like a winner.”

“Go see a lawyer – yesterday. You need to be very careful to get this right, especially if you are determined to go through with marrying this dude.”~GloryIV

“NTA – it’s your house to do with as you please.”

“But, if you are positive that you will not change your mind about this, you may want to consider putting the house into an irrevocable trust for your daughter, it would keep your house from going through probate and would keep it from being part of any challenges to your will or to the prenup.”

“I’m not saying it’s definitely be a better option for you, but it might be worth discussing with an attorney or financial planner.”~sra19


“I want to note that in California, pre-nups aren’t always an iron-clad thing.”


“I would seriously reconsider a marriage to Steven. That he seems to think his children are entitled to 2/3 of the house you have pretty much paid off is actually worrisome.”

“Because that means he’s actually THOUGHT about how to distribute your personal asset to his advantage. (Not having to save ~$600K for his daughters is clearly something that passed through his mind if he came back with the “three-way” split so quickly.)”

“You need really, really, really good representation here – laws can favor one party over another across county lines in California.”

“You might even want to transfer ownership in part to Camila at this point to give her more rights, or just transfer ownership outright and help her with the property taxes going forward.”

“But you also need some financial counseling and relationship counseling to hash out these kinds of expectations now before you sign the marriage license.”~Chasmosaur

“NTA! You bought the house and you have been the only one consistently paying towards it.”

“I’m surprised your fiancé seems to not have that understanding, but I guess thats just my personality.”

“Both my husband and I owned houses going into our marriage, and have decided to keep those separate. Also, I grew up in the bay area and understand the prices.”~justincasio

Folks are urging OP to both protect herself and reconsider her marriage.  Something that a house should not necessarily represent.

We wish OP the best in navigating this.


Written by Mike Walsh

Mike is a writer, dancer, actor, and singer who recently graduated with his MFA from Columbia University. Mike's daily ambitions are to meet new dogs and make new puns on a daily basis. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mikerowavables.