Your upbringing often has a bigger effect on your societal views than you’re willing to admit. While we all understand that somethings are a product of “how we’re raised,” it’s rare for humans to deep dive into exactly what that means.
A Redditor, throwswaynannies899, had to ask himself that question after a conversation with his girlfriend. The original poster (OP) was unsure if he acted wrong, and so asked the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit about it.
“AITA for telling my girlfriend her Nannies were paid to raise her?”
He recounted the events that led to this:
“I (21m[ale]) have a girlfriend named Anna (21f[emale]) who comes from a very rich family while I came from a middle class family and while I did grow up with a lot of privileges none of them were in the same level as hers.”
“Anna grew up in a home where house staff, nannies and body guards were common place and while she’s a very nice and down to earth person she always had a very sheltered reality. For example, she’s the kind of person who has a savings account, doesn’t eat out every day and regularly donates to charity but thinks that apple products are perfect gifts for whenever she doesn’t know what to get someone.”
“A few days back we were talking about holidays and I asked her how she spent mother’s day, since her Mother died when she was a baby and her father never remarried. She just said that the only unusual thing she did on mother’s day was that she visited her mom’s grave in the morning with her father.”
“I got confused by that then I asked her how she spent the rest of the day and she mentioned that growing up she would make cards and give them to the Nannies and they would spend the day playing and eating the sweets she asked her father to order.”
“I just kinda laughed at that point and she asked me what I was laughing about, then I told her ‘You know the Nannies were just doing their jobs, right’ she got annoyed and told me that she knew but they raised and loved her and the least she could do was to give them their due.”
“Annnd that’s where I think I might be the a**hole.”
“After she told me that I joked ‘Yeah, I bet the fat paycheck certainly helped them to love you’ because when I said that she got quiet, grabbed her things and left.”
“Since them she’s been cold towards me and told me she’s rethinking our relationship but I really think she’s overreacting.”
“What do you guys think, am I the a**hole?”
On AITA, people are judged with four voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody sucks here
It was quickly determined that nearly everyone thought OP was the a**hole here.
“YTA – speaking as a nanny, wow!? You’re not just an arse hole you’re nasty.”
“The paycheck pays my bills it doesn’t make me love my charges any more or less.”
“You literally told your girlfriend people were paid to love her.”
“You owe her the biggest apology and months of begging for forgiveness.” – sjjskqoneiq9Mk
“YTA – just because you can’t imagine having any affection for someone that you work with doesn’t mean that is impossible for everyone. Nannies can love, don’t gatekeep the feelings of the caretakers who were filling an important role formerly occupied by your girlfriend’s DEAD MOTHER.” – finchdad
“It’s mind boggling that someone can be totally devoid of empathy.”
“No one is a nanny because they love the fat paychecks and the paychecks aren’t typically that fat. They do it because they like kids.” – astrobuckeye
You’d be hard pressed to find a comment that disagreed.