One piece of advice all parents hear and think they won’t need is to not pick favorites when it comes to their children.
But some parents are alarmingly obvious about who their favorite child is, often to the detriment of their other children, cringed the users of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor fortnite_meow had been adopted by her parents when they thought they couldn’t have children, and she immediately became their least favorite child when they surprisingly got pregnant.
When they went so far as to miss most of her high school graduation, because her younger sister really wanted a Labubu doll, the Original Poster (OP) realized she was now an adult, and it was time to cut ties with the family who didn’t care about her.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for ‘running away’ because my parents were late to my graduation over a Labubu?”
The OP knew who the favorite child was when her younger sister was born.
“I (18 Female) am adopted and was adopted as a baby.”
“My parents thought they couldn’t have kids, and even tried IVF, so when my sister Princess (10 Female) was born, it was a miracle.”
“Everything changed. Princess was spoiled and clearly the favorite. She never got in trouble, was always right, got WHATEVER she wanted and acted HOWEVER she wanted.”
“My parents didn’t treat me badly, but if I got one toy, Princess got five, for example. It sucked, I was jealous, and I got in trouble for it.”
The situation only grew worse when Princess realized the position of power she was in.
“Princess got worse around age six when she realized how much she could get away with. She broke my things, hurt others, stole, and hated when anyone else had attention.”
“I became a target. Luckily, I had friends, school, and relatives for support, though, so it wasn’t the worst.”
“I did great in school and joined clubs and sports just to stay out of the house. During summer, I worked or interned just to avoid her.”
“Now I have a car and a boyfriend (since sophomore year). I stay with him a lot, and his family loves me, so I’m barely home, maybe 24 hours at most weekly. My parents didn’t care, and this was my normal, so I stopped caring too.”
But their absence from the OP’s graduation was the final straw.
“Graduation was last month, one of the few things I asked my parents to come to. I was excited, they seemed excited, and some relatives came too.”
“But Princess had to ruin it. See, her current obsession is with these doll plush keychains called Labubus. She collects them, and that specific day, she found this super rare one for sale in our city.”
“Instead of contacting the seller and buying it the next day, my parents went to get it, and not only that, but they spent $350. (My grad gift was $150.)”
“Then they showed up so late, our caps were already being tossed. They completely missed the ceremony itself.”
The OP’s parents tried to “fix” things, but were too oblivious to the real problems.
“I was hurt. After graduation, I ignored them and went home with my boyfriend. I’ve basically moved in with him at this point, since anytime I went back ‘home,’ it was to get my things to go back.”
“My parents called, texted, apologized, even came over and begged me to forgive them.”
“The worst part of it all, they think it’s the money and sent me another hundred dollars. I refused to talk to them.”
“Now it’s serious as they’re threatening to report me as missing or as a runaway and contact my future college if I don’t go back home.”
“I feel justified in my actions and don’t think it’s that serious.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that she was better off with this toxic family dynamic out of her life.
“ABSOLUTELY NOT… sibling favoritism is so crazy to me, and I think it’s so unfair to the one being treated poorly. The fact that they only thought it was about the money speaks high volumes about their character. It doesn’t help their case either that they adopted you and can’t show you the same love they have for their ‘real’ offspring.”
“I hate that you’re experiencing this… I wouldn’t forgive them, nor would I go back to their house for a good while. Until they can understand what they are doing is completely unacceptable… which I’m sure they won’t… keep staying with your boyfriend and his fam!!” – Historical_Ice3189
“OP has been working for years, while Princess’s spoiled behavior, if it’s never reined in, can make her virtually unemployable.”
“Unemployable, unfriendable, unlovable. Princess is never going to understand that she is the problem, guaranteed.” – Middle-Egg-5205
“I find that scapegoats tend to do okay later in life when they cut off the toxicity, but golden children end up with serious issues that impede their ability to function properly as adults or form healthy relationships of any kind.” – Lokipupper456
“OP’s been treated like an afterthought their whole life, and now their parents are shocked they finally walked away? Favoritism isn’t just unfair, it’s damaging, and OP’s doing the right thing by choosing peace.” – PuffNibble
“OP’s been carrying the weight of being second best their whole life. The moment they choose themselves, suddenly they’re the problem? That’s not love, that’s manipulation. Proud of OP for finally walking away.” – HopCuddle
“OP? When I was 33, I had life-threatening surgery. My parent prioritised a camping trip with their spouse over being at their child’s side when they could have died. I cut them out of my life one and a half years ago.”
“I wish I had done it when I was 18 and they kicked me out of home because their spouse doesn’t like competition.”
“Context given… I am so proud of you and your self-worth! You know what you’re worth, and it’s not feeling like an afterthought or a burden! I hope this self-worth follows you throughout your life and is never chipped away at because no one deserves to be treated like you or I were!” – kisforkarol
Others urged the OP to inform the police and university that she was safe to dodge her family’s obstacles.
“Nobody has to report safety, but sometimes it helps. ‘Hi non-emergency, my name is Elesia Redditor. I’ve had a dispute with my parents, and they’re about to report me missing. There’s no emergency; I just moved out. I’m an adult and a high school graduate, and they’re not coping. I just didn’t want you to waste resources if a call comes because I’m safe and happy.'”
“Honestly, most places won’t really care. I know my hometown didn’t give the slightest f**k. The embassy was grateful, though.” – Elesia
“I would also call the college and let them know that your parents are no longer in charge of your finances or education. Tell them if they have any questions, they should call you specifically.”
“Now, if your parents are contributing to your education fund, that’s another story. If that is the case, you’re probably going to have to deal with them until you graduate. In that case, go incredibly low contact and speak to them as little as possible, but just know you’re just going to have to create your teeth and bear it.” – Nervous_Explorer_898
“I answer 911 and nonemergency calls. When parents call for a missing persons report like this, I ask WHY the adult child left home. If they give an answer like this, that indicates that there’s nothing nefarious going on, and it’s a household disagreement, all we’re going to do is an informational report.”
“I will tell them that, and so will the responding deputy, ‘She’s an adult, and she’s allowed to not be in your house. If there’s a reason she moved out, you can think about why that might be, but we aren’t going to force her to come back.'” – ACERVIDAE
“Had a guy try to report his 18-year-old daughter missing, then say no, she was kidnapped! Actually, she called out of work on spring break week and went to a neighboring city with friends, and the dad was mad.”
“The deputy spoke to her on the phone and confirmed she was okay, and then told dad she had the right to do as she wished.”
“Depending on the circumstances, our deputies will also give instructions on how the adult child can file for a restraining order if the parents continually try to do things like this.”
“OP, if you read this, your parents can potentially request a welfare check where the police are sent to where you’re living. If this happens, make sure to get the case number, ask that it be notated that your parents are doing this in retaliation, and ask about filing for a restraining order.”
“That way it’s all documented, and do this each time it happens. Then, if you have to go to court for a restraining order, you make a records request for all those case numbers and present all the evidence of your family being harassed by the police to harass you. Judges don’t typically like people doing that.” – AprilRyanMyFriend
“I had to do this as an adult, and I would highly recommend that OP do this. Contact the closest station to her and inform them that she has left home (take ID showing age) and tell them that her parents have threatened to report her as a runaway.”
“This will then go on file, and if the parents try to report, it will be stopped at the station, and OP won’t have to stress about police showing up at her BF’s place.” – RustysGypsy
The subReddit was grateful that the OP understood her worth and that she deserved better than she was being treated at home.
If the OP needed to do anything, it was to separate herself from her family in any way she could, including her bank account, college plans, living arrangement, and work schedule.
The less the parents knew, and had access to, the easier it would be for her to move on and create the life for herself that she deserved.