If everyone had complete and utter control of their emotions, one can only imagine that the world would be a much happier place.
Sadly, as we all know, that simply isn’t the case.
Even so, this doesn’t stop people from trying, and trying every method possible to keep their emotions in check.
Especially when they’re in the presence of others.
Redditor was well aware that they were likely going to be brought to tears at an upcoming event.
When the moment finally came, the original poster (OP) came up with what they thought was a solid and discreet solution.
However, when the OP’s family learned of their methods, they labeled their actions “disrespectful.”
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for muting my hearing aids during my sister’s wedding vows because I already knew what she was going to say?”
The OP explained why their family felt they were being disrespectful:
“She practiced her vows with me for weeks on end.”
“I was extremely emotional on the day of the wedding but wanted to keep it together, and so, during the ceremony, I discretely shut off my hearing aids.”
“Somehow all of my family found out and considered it to be ‘disrespectful’.”
“I was just trying to not cry, I was still there, still supportive.”
“Would I be the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided as to whether or not they thought the OP was the a**hole for turning off her hearing aids during their sister’s vows.
Everyone agreed that even if the OP’s emotions were bound to get the better of them, a wedding was an appropriate place for that to happen. Turning off their hearing aids was ultimately an unnecessary, if not a downright bad idea.
Others found their behavior to be just plain rude:
“Low key, yeah YTA.”
“Weddings are supposed to be emotional.”
“I cried seeing my beautiful wife, before saying our vows, and could barely say my vows.”
“XD.”
“I get you were trying to put on a good face, but if there was any time to be overly emotional, your sister’s wedding was the time.”- R4eth
“How did they find out?”
“If you couldn’t do it in a way that no one knew, then yes, YTA.”
“Frankly, I think it would be disrespectful even if they didn’t know.”
“But know they know and will be thinking of that during any family moment, important occasion, holiday celebration.”
“They will be asking of you tuned them out, if you purposely ignored them in the past, if they’re important to you now.”
“This won’t be something you live down and may change the way people view you in the future.”
“So was it worth it?”- CSurvivor9
“YTA.”
“Clearly you weren’t at all discrete.”
“Cause someone saw ya.”- SigSauerPower320
“Of course YTA if other people can tell you’re doing it.”
“It’s the equivalent of a non-deaf person whispering to everyone, ‘By the way, I’m not listening’.”-
denkmusic
“YTA.”
“specifically because they found out.”
“Imagine if during your important moment, your sister turned away and looked literally anywhere else other than you, how would it make you feel.”- Invisible_Dragon
“YTA.”
“Weddings are emotional, and it was the ‘real deal’ this time as opposed to the weeks of practice.”
“In a way, you missed the actual event.”
“Not a big a**hole because it wasn’t that ba,d but it qualifies for me.”
“Also depends on how your sister feels.”- Double_Pirate85
“People saw you do it at a wedding and told other people, though.”
“You weren’t being discreet.”
“Plus, it’s your sister’s wedding vows.”
“Mild YTA.”- FrostyIcePrincess
“YTA, what you didn’t want to feel anything on the day of your sister’s wedding?”
“That’s just one of those moments you should be feeling things.”
“You should be sharing those emotions with your family, the bride and groom, and honestly just letting it out for yourself.”
“Sticking your head in the sand when things get emotional is a good way to emotionally constipate yourself.”- HisuianDelphi
“I have family members that use a cochlear implant and another that uses aides.”
“I would be very upset if they had turned them off during my ceremony, why bother coming?”
“During the after-ceremony bits though?”
“Hell yeah and I would be jealous I couldn’t!!”
“Mild YTA.”- Deep_Ad_9889
“It seems a very rude and dismissive gesture, especially during the freaking vows that YOU helped her practice with.”
“Gonna say YTA.”- WholeAd2742
“Oh, come on, of course, YTA.”
“There was an entire ceremony you could have tuned, but you absolutely had to avoid hearing your sister’s wedding vows?”
“Which will hopefully be a once-in-a-lifetime moment?”
“And not only that, you were so obvious that everyone knows about it.”
“Congratulations.”
“You successfully made at least part of your sister’s day about you.”- OkIntroduction6477
“YTA.”
“My god that’s incredibly rude.”- McCaff01
“YTA.”
“That’s so unbelievably rude!”- c*ntmagistrate
“YTA.”
“You purposefully excluded yourself from the biggest moment of the wedding.”- SirSwagAlotTheHung
“YTA.”
“Honestly because.”
“You can suck it up in this case.”
“Why did you tell anyone?”- Individual_Physics29
There were some, however, who felt that the OP did nothing wrong, and that if anyone was at fault, it was the ones who brought attention to her actions:
“As a hearing aid user, NTA.”
“But how did people find out?”
“There’s no way someone could see your hearing aid was turned off, it not usually something people look for?”- Old_West_4481
“Ok so I’m going to say NTA because I don’t think hearing people have the right to judge what you do with your hearing aids.”- RepublicNorth5033
“NTA.”
“You did what you needed to do to keep your composure and avoid causing any disruption.”
“You helped her practice her vows for weeks beforehand.”
“Everything went to plan, with your help.”
“They’re being d*cks, let them be d*cks.”- SuperHeavyHydrogen
“NTA.”
“As someone who uses hearing aids, unless you know how they work, you cannot give a verdict.”
“Education: hearing aids come in all shapes and sizes and functions.”
“For the person or persons who saw her touch her aids, she may very well have been turning up or down the volume.”
“To automatically assume then tell others she turned them off, is AH.”
“As for her saying outright she turned them off, that still doesn’t make her an AH.”
“I can still hear without my aids on, and having them on can be overwhelming with all that is going on.”
“There’s so much more to wearing aids than just putting them in and turning them on, which I can’t write here because it’s too lengthy.”
“The truth is, OP, most of the people making a judgment here have perfect hearing and have no idea what we go through or how hearing aids work.”
“Unfortunately, by admitting to your family you turned them off, they will probably be upset at you for awhile.”
“I hope eventuality they’ll get over it.”- Marvie50
“I wish I had this superpower.”
“I say NTA because I find it really cool that you can turn off your ears.”
“How on earth did anybody find out?”
“Did someone try to get your attention, and you weren’t responding at that moment?”- CupcakeMurder86
“Nope.”
“These people are fussing over nothing.”
“You are not obliged to listen to your sister’s vows yet again.”
“Or ever even.”
“They are not being made to you.”
“If you don’t feel like having an emotional breakdown, that’s your choice.”
“If you had these same people, you would be moaning about you, trying to get attention.”
“This is a molehill, not a mountain.”
“And seems to be more about picking on you.”
“NTA.”- Homologous_Trend
While a few understood why some felt the OP’s actions could have been interpreted as disrespectful, but also felt the OP’s intentions were anything but:
“NAH.”
“I can get why they feel it’s disrespectful, but I just don’t see it that way.”
“If you feel like your reaction would have been distracting during the ceremony or in pictures, doing what you can to not pull attention away from the happy couple is the most important thing you can do.”
“In my opinion, this fight seems like more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Sometimes you’re just better off explaining that the slight was unintentional and just apologizing anyway so you can move on.”
“Everyone’s emotions are high at weddings, so everything seems more significant and impactful that it actually is.”- datedpopculturejoke
The OP’s intentions were in no way malicious.
However, they also should have predicted that they were not going to be the only one crying at their sister’s wedding.
And no matter how many times they may have heard their sister’s vows leading up to the big day, they will likely regret not having the memory of hearing her say them on the day of the occasion.