Everyone has their own relationship with alchohol.
Some people want nothing more than a good, stiff drink when the clock strikes five, and having learned how to drink responsibly, have no trouble enjoying a beer, cocktail or glass of wine every now and then.
Others however never touch alcoholic drinks, owing to an unfortunate personal association with it, their own religious beliefs, or plainly and simply because they don’t like the taste of it.
Redditor EtherealEagle1776 was among those who refused to drink alcohol owing to their own personal beliefs.
with their beliefs being what they are, they decided to make an upcoming party celebrating a major milestone in their parents lives alcohol free.
Something the original poster (OP)’s sister believed was a very bad idea indeed, and wasn’t afraid to tell them so.
Wondering if their sister was right, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Would I Be The A**hole” (AITA), where they. asked fellow Redditors:
“WIBTA for not serving alcohol at my parents 50th anniversary party?”
The OP expressed how despite their sister’s protests, they planned to make an upcoming family celebration they were throwing dry, owing both to their own personal beliefs, and also as a cost-cutting measure.
“I am throwing a party for my parent’s 50th anniversary.”
“They mentioned wanting to have one a few years ago, so I took it upon myself this year to take care of the invitations, food, music, decorations, party planning, and paying for it all.”
“The party is this weekend, so I’ve been prepping for it this whole week.”
“So far, 40 people have RSVP’d yes.”
“As I mentioned, I am paying for everything, including the food/drinks.”
“My parents have not been super involved with planning, since I offered to do all the work.”
“My sister came over today while I was prepping the backyard for the party, and I ran her through what I was going to have at the party.”
“She had no problem with the food or desserts, but she hated what I had planned for the drinks.”
“I want this to be a dry event.”
“My husband and I don’t believe in drinking alcohol, and we don’t want to pay for other people to drink.”
“My plan is to just have sodas and water for people.”
“My sister says that people will expect alcohol at an event like this, but it’s a backyard party in the afternoon.”
“I don’t see how my refusal to buy alcohol will stop people from having a good time.”
“She got really mad when I put my foot down, and said that the party will flop without the social lubricant of alcohol to smooth the way.”
“So reddit, AITA for not serving drinks?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally sided with the OP’s sister, and found that the OP was, indeed, the a**hole for refusing to serve alcohol at their parent’s anniversary party.
Many felt that the OP was trying to inflict their own personal beliefs on others, when the party is for their parents, believing they could still serve alcohol and just not drink it themself, and if money was an issue, they could simply make the party BYOB.
“ESH.”
“I’m not a big fan of forcing your own beliefs on others.”
“Your sister is right, people will probably expect something.”
“Why not tell your sister if she feels strongly about it, she can pay for some beer for a party, that seems reasonable for an afternoon event.”
“That way, you and hubby aren’t paying for anyone to drink and sister is happy.”-Nishi621
:Not the AH for not wanting to foot the bill, yes TA for drawing some sort of moral line in the sand at your parents anniversary.”
“Tell sis to cover the booze, or make it BYO, though BYO is a little tacky in my mind for an event like this.”- Acceptable-Jelly-768
“YTA.”
“Do your parents want a dry event?”
“Just because you and your husband don’t drink doesn’t mean everyone else won’t want to drink.”
“If you don’t want to pay for alcohol make it byob.’
“But Don’t force your views on others.”- Majestic-Meringue-40
“You sound like someone who should not be planning a party.”
“This party is for other people, not for yourself, and other people will want to have a few drinks at a party.”- ChumbaWumbas323
“Honestly, ‘I don’t believe in alcohol so don’t wanna pay to anybody’ is very lame and an ah move.”
“Unless your parents don’t want alcohol in their party then YTA.”- Dum_UserIdk
“NTA for not buying the alcohol, but surely you can let guests know to BYO?”
“Why is it everyone else’s problem that you and your Husband don’t like alcohol?”- BrissieSandy
While almost everyone agreed with the OP’s sister that most people will assume alcohol will be served at an anniversary party, so the OP should at the very least inform people it will be a dry party
“YTA if you don’t inform people that alcohol will not be served.”
‘Anniversary parties usually mean people making toasts, and toasts require drinks, traditionally alcohol.”
“I don’t drink much, and wouldn’t care if it was a dry event.”
“But if I didn’t know in advance, I would expect there would be at least a glass or two of wine to cheers the couple.”
“If i know there’s no alcohol, I will drive, versus spend the money on a taxi round trip, or try to figure out the public transport.”- emersj
“I agree with your sister.”
“It is expected.”
“However, you are throwing the party and paying for it.’
“So you don’t have to pay for the drinks.”
“I would suggest making it BYOB or informing people it’ll be dry.”
“My judgment is YTA for insisting on a dry event.”
“It’s pretty much as if you were vegan and they weren’t and you had a vegan event.’
“It’s fine if you don’t want to spend your money on meat, but you can’t stop other people from bringing it.”
“NAH, if your parents are cool with it.”
“Then it’s fine.”
“But your sister is still right.”
“To answer one of your questions, people can go 2 hours without food but it’s pretty weird to show up at BBQ and not be offered food.”
“Kinda the same with alcohol at an anniversary BBQ.”
“Not necessary but still weird if it isn’t there.”- WaywardPrincess1025
“NTA for not wanting to buy the booze.”
“You’re already paying for everything else and I understand not wanting the extra expense.”
“Your general attitude is coming off as superior and a**ish, though.”
“Especially the way you keep asking in comments whether serving alcohol is truly the norm, why people can’t have go a few hours without alcohol, etc.”
“Given that your parents are celebrating their 50th, I imagine you’re well into adulthood and have navigated the world as a teetotaler for quite a while.”
“You should know by now that people like to drink at social events, and continually questioning it makes you seem like you’re looking for some argument where you get to come away feeling superior for your lifestyle choice.”- LowKaleidoscope5869
“YTA.”
“If your parents and friends are expecting a normal party they will be disappointed.”- JeepNaked
“YTA.”
“You should tell people soda and water will be served and anything else is byob.”- classicgirl1990
A select few, however, felt that the OP had every right to decide what will and won’t be served, as they are the one paying for the party.
“NTA.”
“You are not obligated to buy alcohol for a party you are hosting at your home.”
“Your sister is wrong.”- Pinkie_Flamingo
“NTA.”
“I go to events without alcohol more than I do events with alcohol.”
“It’s not weird to have a dry event.”
“Your the planner, no one should expect alcohol.”- Level-Particular-455
“If you had just said you didn’t have the money to supply the alcohol I doubt you’d see this many.”
“It’s your money, your rules.”
“And your parents are fine with it.”
“NTA.”- nicolesky6
“NTA.”
“I’d recommend telling people ‘bring your own beer’, but if not at least say it’s a dry party.”
“You are NOT required to buy and serve alcohol at a party, but people should be aware as it is assumed at events like these.”
“I dunno why people think you HAVE to buy and serve the drinks.
“Do y’all know how expensive that is?”
“Lmao.”- DatKewlGuy10
No one should be made to feel bad about their personal beliefs, providing those beliefs don’t bring harm or shame to others.
But on the flip side, inflicting one’s personal beliefs on others isn’t right either, and the OP should remember that the party they are throwing is not for themself, but for their parents.
And if their parents want a little bubbly to celebrate their 50th anniversary, they should have every right to enjoy some.
But then again, if they OP is the one footing the bill, then they have the final say regarding the food and drink.
Though they better prepare themself for some confused and disappointed guests.