When a person is about to have a baby, move into a new home, or experience another big life event, they potentially will have many new purchases to make.
Receiving some of those items as gifts leave many of these people feeling grateful, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, but some people get surprisingly picky about their gifts.
Redditor dreamsleep7788 was surprised when they offered to give their pregnant coworker an expensive bassinet, only for the coworker to criticize the fact that it was used.
After the coworker made a scene, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure what to think.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for giving them a used product/bassinet for their baby shower?”
The OP’s coworker regularly talked about a particular bassinet she wanted.
“My coworker is having a baby in 2 months. She’s been gushing about the SNOO, especially after learning more about mine and watching my SNOO work on the nanny cam and how it rocks my baby back to sleep.”
“She’s been telling people she really really wanted a SNOO but cannot afford the price tag, which is about 1,500 USD for a brand new bassinet.”
“I suggested she can either rent the SNOO or get one second-hand on the Facebook marketplace for like between 900-1100 USD (which is what I did).”
“She said, it’s still too big of a price tag and not even sure if her baby would like it (some babies do not like the SNOO).”
The OP came up with an alternative for their coworker.
“Anyways, my baby is almost grown out of the SNOO (weight/age cut off) and would be weaned off the SNOO by the time she gave birth.”
“So she hosted two baby showers, one at work, and one at home with family/friends. I thought about getting one of the cute onesies from her gift registry, but I also thought a better gift would be to give her our SNOO since we’re done with it.”
“Even as a 3rd hand user, the resale value on the Facebook marketplace would have been easily between 600-900 USD.”
“When she opened my gift, it was a simple congrats card and I wrote on there, ‘We will give you our SNOO in a month.'”
“(Mind you, my SNOO is in great shape. No pee/poop ever gotten on it, very small wear and tear (complicated to explain, those who own a SNOO knows there is a velcro sleep sack that can get caught on the side of the bassinet, so there is some peach fuzz there).”
The coworker did not like this plan at all.
“Well, later I found out she was angry at me for throwing her my second/third-handed bassinet when I no longer needed it and couldn’t even be decent enough to just buy a 15$ onesie.”
“Well, I got p**sed. I told her, ‘Fine, I’ll keep my SNOO, and sell it on the Facebook marketplace for 600-900 USD. I thought you would like it since you are always gushing about mine and how it’s too expensive to buy even a second handed one.'”
“I added, ‘There is no need to be ungrateful. Here, just take 15$ instead,’ and I put 15 dollars in her hand and walked off.”
“Was I an AH for giving her a second-handed product (in great condition) and calling her ungrateful?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the coworker absolutely should have been grateful for the SNOO.
“Holy h**l, NTA. Most people would kill to be gifted a SNOO. They are wonderful and expensive as h**l.”
“She’s gonna regret her s**tty attitude when she’s up in the middle of the night trying to get her baby to sleep.” – Temporary_Badger
“NTA. That’s an expensive item even used. If she didn’t like the idea of something used for her baby, she could sell it and put the cash towards a new one.”
“She acted very entitled. Hope she enjoys that $15 onesie.” – seriouslywrestle
“D**n, if you wanted new, sell the old one and buy new. I’m too broke to even know what a SNOO is, but if you’re able to gush over one, I assume you have the money to pay half price.”
“Otherwise, you’ve got champagne taste on a Coors Lite budget, and need to get the f**k over yourself, and accept hand me downs.” – NancyNuggets
“A SNOO seems to be a smart baby bassinet that uses movement and noise to simulate a womb-like environment, which will help the baby fall asleep and stay asleep. It can detect when your baby is fussing or waking and raise the shushing and movement to get them to calm down.”
“Thing is, a baby bassinet is only used for about six months, and after that, they need a real crib. So this is a six-month-old item from a baby that’s not even old enough to get up on their hands and knees (aka, very little ability to destroy).”
“That costs $1,695 when bought new, and potentially more than half as much used. For six months of use.” – roseofjuly
“Holy h**l, they’re expensive and now I want one for my adult self.”
“NTA, by the way, that’s a very generous gift, too bad for her that she turned it down. I hope OP buys something nice for her family when she resells it.” – calminthedesert
“My cousin got one for his family, and that thing has been in constant rotation throughout his friend/family circle ever since. It’s seen 4 or 5 years of almost continuous use. They do not go bad after one baby!” – omgmypony
“We were given a second-hand SNOO and I don’t care how many babies it’s been through before-I got to sleep with a newborn lol. If you’re really that worried, buy a new mattress, covers, and straight jackets (I know they’re swaddles, but they look like straight jackets and are the best).”
“If anything, OP is a Saint for even offering it when they can resell or rent it for so much.” – Relevant-Ad6288
Others agreed and thought the coworker’s whole reaction was off.
“The coworker is TA for the reaction. Some new parents are very weird about used stuff for their baby. I don’t know why, but hey you don’t want to save money, that’s your right. But throwing the gesture in OP’s face like that? Geez!”
“OP, get her a onesie, sell the SNOO, and be done with it. This lady clearly has no real understanding of value.” – Graycat17
“I understand being weird about SOME things being new, I was always hesitant to accept secondhand car seats for example, but that’s because of safety issues.”
“NTA, OP, I have no idea what a SNOO is but on the price alone it was a VERY generous gift, especially for a coworker.” – An_Absolute-Zero
“Honestly, getting anything for free is super nice! My cousin gave me all his daughter’s old clothes when my daughter was born and I was so grateful. Not that you can’t afford them but the fact that I don’t have to is great!” – Always_Ailyn
“I used to love that as a kid, tbh. My sister is five and a half years older than me, and had a few friends without younger siblings.”
“So every year or so, I’d get a massive black bag of outgrown clothes to trawl through and take what I wanted, then the rest got donated on.”
“And the clothes were generally cooler/more stylish than the stuff sold to kids my age, coming from girls several years more grown.”
“An absolute boon for someone who hates clothes shopping as much as I always have!” – Self-Aware
“I have a son aged 16mo and thanks to some generous family and friends with kids a bit older, I didn’t have to buy a pram, bassinet, or much in the way of bedding and clothes.”
“He wears mostly hand-me-downs but since babies and toddlers grow so fast, mostly these were in great condition, occasionally not even worn. In turn, I’m passing on these things to a friend who will soon have her first baby.”
“Any dollar you don’t have to spend on baby gear is a dollar you can put towards something else you need or want. For instance, I never worry about buying my kid picture books, as I don’t spend much at all on his clothes.” – Sweeper1985
“I can’t believe there are people out there who behave like this when given a GIFT. Like, it’s a godd**n gift, you don’t have the right to complain about it! This woman really shouldn’t be having kids because she’s acting like one herself. *Shudder*” – sharraleigh
The subReddit could not believe that the coworker turned away such an amazing gift, just because it had been used by someone else. Bassinets typically are one of those products that can be used by multiple families before they need to be retired, and with the price tag of the SNOO being so high, it would only make sense to share it around.
But as the subReddit pointed out, since the OP had already attempted to be nice, they could turn around and sell their SNOO online, guilt-free.