Break-ups can be tough.
Sometimes, they are for the best.. and sometimes, they’re because people behave badly.
No matter the reason, there will always be consequences.
The worst consequences can be financial or provisional.
Redditor Wise-Ride-4171 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for not allowing my ex and her new partner to move into my apartment?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My ex and I just went through a nasty breakup.”
“We were together 11 years.”
“I found out she was cheating on me with a guy from high school who lived out of state.”
“She said she was moving out, but I noticed she hadn’t packed anything and did not seem concerned about living arrangements.”
“I had a gut feeling there was more to this.”
“I resigned myself to the idea I’d have to live with my ex for the last 2 months of my lease.”
“We had 2 bedrooms; she moved into the other one.”
“She seemed agitated that I hadn’t left.”
“Finally she started an enormous fight that got so bad I had to leave and stay with a relative for the weekend.”
“While I was gone, my apartment managers contacted me.”
“They said she was willing to let me out of my lease, as she had a new roommate who could take over my spot on the lease.”
“She did this the day I paid rent.”
“I almost did it because I was so exhausted at that point.”
“But then I said no.”
“That person she was moving in was the person she cheated on me with.”
“I paid for all the furniture in there.”
“I paid for the bulk of our bills.”
“If she wanted a new start with this person, they needed to pay for it themselves, not do it off of my back.”
“I knew if I didn’t sign that, the new guy would not be allowed to park at the complex. They are very strict and would tow him.”
“It’s also in my lease that nobody can be moved in without my permission.”
“Spitefully, I was willing to pay the next 2 months of rent not to give them that.”
“It worked; their plans were ruined, and they had to leave.”
“I know I had somewhere safe to stay, but I was so done being used and manipulated.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. You don’t have to be out of a place to live because she wanted to drop it low and spread it wide.”
“It doesn’t matter if they had a safe place to live, they’re two adults that don’t get one or two months rent paid for them by the one they betrayed.”
“Good riddance.” ~ LouisV25
“NTA. Good for you! Proud of you!” ~ SliceEquivalent825
“NTA. She f**ked around (literally), she found out.” ~ IamIrene
“NTA. Your ex sounds like one of those people who just expect things to always be resolved in their favor.”
“Good for you for not giving in.”
“She can cheat.”
“She can end the relationship.”
“But she doesn’t get to dictate how everything plays out.”
“People like her sometimes forget that part.” ~ HandBananasRevenge
“NTA. Good lord, how can people be this mean?”
“You where together for 11 years and this is how she treats you?”
“It’s a good thing you never married her. Karma will come into play.”
“Good luck and take care of yourself first!!!” ~ Lower_Instruction371
“NTA. No reason that they should be able to move in together on your dime and at your inconvenience, not theirs.” ~ Own_Lack_4526
“NTA It’s yours for 2 more months right?”
“As long as you’re willing to pay then you did nothing wrong.”
“She started the fight to chase you out, but ultimately, her plan didn’t work.”
“You aren’t the AH for that.” ~ Deep-Okra1461
“NTA. And don’t forget to move every single thing that belongs to you out before the end of the lease.”
“If she and her new ‘roommate’ need to sleep on the floor and have no dishes, that’s not your problem.” ~ SavingsRhubarb8746
“NTA feels like it would be easier to just go take your stuff so you aren’t potentially left with a trashed apartment or she doesn’t pay rent for the remaining two months, but you do you.” ~ asurkhaib
“NTA. It’s always good to wake up from a nightmare.”
“Block her and move on with your life because she will come crawling back when her relationship with new booty ends.”
“Also, return all of her mail to the sender if you’re planning to stay in the apartment. Good luck.” ~ Necessary_Device_227
“NTA. If your name is on the lease and her name is not, then she should move out.”
“You should check the local rental laws and regulations to see if you will end up having to evict her.”
“Tell the apartment manager that you are planning on living in the apartment, but she will be moving.” ~ AgeLower1081
“Stop being an AH to yourself! If she has left the apartment, go back home ASAP and change the locks.”
“Pack up her stuff and arrange a time for her to come pick up her stuff.”
“Then set it outside your apartment before they arrive.”
“If you’re in a gated community, ask management for new access codes into the complex.”
“Otherwise, when you’re lease is up you may want to move out to avoid any future confrontations with her.”
“Frankly I’d move out anyway to forget the constant reminders of her in your home and get a fresh start.” ~ jackb6ii
“NTA. In fact, if there’s so much NTA that you’re out the other side and some kind of anti-AH that’s where you are.” ~ FairyCompetent
“Hell no, NTA.”
“Having to put up with her to the end of your lease is annoying enough without her moving her bang buddy in to salt the wounds.” ~ WholeAd2742
“NTA. Nope. Why should you just leave all your stuff to her? No.”
“She wanted the easy way out, and you didn’t give that to her.”
“No matter your reasons, you’re not obligated to make her life easier, and it doesn’t make you an AH if you choose not to.” ~ SubstantialQuit2653
“NTA. Stop being nice to that woman, and stop paying all; you should only pay half.”
“She is the one that cheated. She is the one that should leave.”
“Tell her you are not leaving, and tell the owner that she is trying to sneak her new boyfriend, and she cannot pay half of the lease.” ~ Bacteria_Friend
“NTA. Well done to you for the pushback and for doing the right thing By You.”
“Yes, sometimes you have to make your own justice.”
“My only hesitation would’ve been as long as it didn’t prolong any mental anguish you might have felt over the situation – if it did then it would’ve been better to just cut your losses as soon as possible.” ~ gordiesgoodies
“Let this stranger from the internet tell you: it will get better eventually.”
“And: Hats off – I celebrate your revenge.”
“I’m proud and amazed.”
“I was in a similar situation – my ex cheated on me when I was at university, got someone else pregnant three times during our engagement, and forged my signature for a house.”
“Long story in a nutshell: I tipped off her HUSBAND to investigate the paternity further and sued him out of the land register with the help of my lawyer.”
“He had to file for personal insolvency, and maybe, maybe, I told his insolvency administrator that he wasn’t complying with the conditions.”
“After 7 years of no dating, I’ve now engaged again, I have found a great guy who also supports my creative work and my ex?”
“I’m just waiting for his own trash TV show.” ~ Excellent_Rise7636
“NTA – You did the right thing to stand your ground there.”
“It wasn’t even petty, it was the fair thing to do.”
“They were trying to take advantage of you, and you aren’t an a**hole for not letting them.”
“Doesn’t matter if it inconvenienced them; they were trying to start a new life ‘off your back,’ as you put it.” ~ FalsePrerogative
“NTA but make sure you change the locks.” ~ WineChick23
“You absolutely are Not the A-hole!!! You are right!”
“Why should you give away all your stuff because she wants to live in the apartment with her cheater boyfriend?”
“Gee, how nice of her to let you out of the lease… she’s quite the snake!! “
“I don’t see any reason that you should give the cheater a break.”
“Especially after having been together for 11 years.”
“The least she could have done was end her relationship with you before she started a cheater relationship.”
“You did good!” ~ Hoganunh105
“NTA …the audacity of your ex to try to kick YOU out of the apartment YOU mostly paid for.”
“What an opportunist malevolent person.”
“I’m glad you put your foot down, and they left and didn’t take it any further.”
“Imagine moving a mistress to the home a man shared with his wife.”
“It would all feel so wrong and messed up.” ~ NomadGabz
“Woah buddy, I don’t know what guilt ferrets made you think this, but you are most definitely NOT THE A**HOLE.”
“Not only did she cheat on you, but she tried to squeeze you to pay for her and her lover’s accommodations, basically living off you after screwing you over. NTAH.” ~ BlackbeardSanchez
“Good for you for saying no.”
“I think it’s funny her plans were thawed and had to scramble.”
“Keep the apartment and all your belongings, and let her figure out her own life.”
“When she reaches back out when her new relationship fails then remember this disrespect and cheating.”
“I promise there are better ladies out there.”
“Sorry, you’re having to go through this. If only people would be honest.” ~ False-Bandicoot-6813
“NTA at ALL!”
“She cheated on you; she attempted to manipulate you into getting out of the apartment; she attempted to manipulate you into breaking your lease so that she could move her affair partner in.”
“You can be that she was going to manipulate you into leaving her most of the apartment things.”
“I assume you could have left her on the hook for the two months of rent at the least, but I think you made the right choice!”
“Her being out of your life two months sooner; two months less of her manipulation; two months to get a bit of space before you might choose to take on a new roommate.”
“I think it was worth every penny.”
“If your ex had to find a new place to build her life with her new/secret lover, that’s not you being an AH.”
“That’s her getting her karmic payback.” ~ swillshop
“Not even a little bit. “
“She didn’t get half of what she deserved.”
“I hope you move on and find someone who treats you well. NTA.” ~ Striking-Estate-4800
Reddit is fully with you OP.
You were wronged. But you made it right.
So sorry for the heartbreak.
You’ll find better. Good luck.