A deal is a deal, right?
For Redditor International_Set522, wrong.
The Original Poster (OP) made a deal when taking their sister’s family out for steak that they would only pay for their nephew’s giant steak if he ate it all. The OP’s brother-in-law agreed.
However, when the OP’s nephew failed to finish the meal, his brother-in-law got mad about keeping his end of the deal.
This led the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
He asked:
“AITA for making my brother-in-law pay for his son’s meal after I said it was my treat?”
He went on to tell his story:
“I don’t see my sister and her family very often, so when I do I tend to splurge on them. I am child-free for now and the foreseeable future. But probably not forever.”
“I took her family out for dinner and I said it was my treat. So it was my sister, her husband, his mom who lives with them, myself, and three kids ages 15, 12, and 10.”
“I took them out to a steak place on their city I always wanted to try. My 15-year-old nephew looks at the menu and says he wants the tomahawk steak.”
“I said it was three pounds of meat plus three full sides, and he should probably pick something smaller.”
“My BIL says his kid can eat it all, and I said it was my treat and that I’m trying to cheap out. It is $190 for the steak.”
“I said fine, but if he doesn’t eat it all, then you have to pay for it. He agreed.”
“We order, and the waiter tells us the tomahawk is usually shared between several people since it comes with three sharable portions of sides as well.”
“I ask my BIL if he is sure. He looks at the kid and smiles, and says no problem.”
“We ordered and when the food came out, the tomahawk and sides took up almost half the table.”
“The kid finished less than a quarter of the steak and only a little bit of the sides.”
“When the bill came, I asked to pay for seven meals, all the drinks, and all the tip. The Tomahawk steak on a separate bill for my BIL.”
“He paid with ill grace. My sister said that he used the budget that they had earmarked to take the family to see the new Spiderman movie.”
“I felt bad, but I think that he was an a**hole to try and waste my money. He thinks I’m an a**hole for following through and making him pay for something that mostly went to waste.”
“Yes, they took the leftovers home.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA”
“‘My treat’ does not mean abuse my generosity.”
“It would have been one thing if the teen had actually eaten the entire thing. You said, if he eats it all I’ll pay. If not, you pay. Good for sticking to that.” – Algebralovr
“NTA”
“Ordering a $190 steak on someone else’s tab is rude and enough to make them the AH, regardless of it was all eaten or not.” – gnothro
“NTA”
“‘I said fine but if he doesn’t eat it all then you have to pay for it. He agreed.’”
“Enough said. He agreed.”
“He either thought you’re a pushover or that his kid is the quintessential growing teenage boy who vacuums up the contents of the fridge with his mouth in one day.”
“Also, it’s not like your sister, as the other parent, stopped the shenanigans either.” – Poesy-WordHoard
“NTA”
“‘I said it was three pounds of meat plus three full sides, and he should probably pick something smaller.’”
“You checked if they should order a smaller meal”
“‘the waiter tells us the tomahawk is usually shared between several people since it comes with three sharable portions of sides as well.’”
“The waiter tells your BIL that the meal is usually a shared meal. That alone should have been a clue to your BIL”
“‘I said fine but if he doesn’t eat it all then you have to pay for it. He agreed.’”
“Your BIL agreed to pay for the meal if it wasn’t all eaten”
“‘The kid finished less than a quarter of the steak and only a little bit of the sides.’”
“Your nephew didn’t finish the meal – BIL has to pay as per the specified agreement.”
“‘He paid with ill grace.’”
“That’s totally a him problem – make stupid deals and pay the price – literally”
“‘My sister said that he used the budget that they had earmarked to take the family to see new Spiderman movie.’”
“Not your problem, if your sister knew where that money was going to come from she should have spoken up before the meal was ordered. She should have known her son wouldn’t finish the meal.”
“She is just as entitled as your BIL and nephew.”
“‘and that I’m trying to cheap out. It is $190 for the steak’”
“Blanching at having to pay $190 for a steak for one person is not cheaping out!”
“I think I’ve only paid close to that when I treated myself to an aged steak at a restaurant on my wife’s and my anniversary – with her blessing.”
“I certainly wouldn’t expect someone who was treating me to a free meal to pay $190 for one course of a meal – the entitlement from your BIL and sister is staggering!” – Sajem
“People that order the most expensive item because they aren’t paying are always the AH. NTA.” – aeroeagleAC
“NTA, fk that sh!t. I would’ve straight up told the nephew, ‘Nope, you’re not getting that, I don’t care how much you can eat.’”
“Your BIL is a first-rate a**hole for letting him do it.”
“If I had tried that crap when my one of my uncles was treating us when I was that age, my Dad would’ve smacked me upside the head right there in front of God and everybody.” – Sure-Victory7172
“NTA.”
“Also, what kind of man allows his son to order a $200 STEAK and then is mad bc the payment for it ‘came out of his budget to take the family to see SPIDER-MAN?’”
“If he has to budget for that, then what kind of jerk would just abuse someone else’s hospitality like that? You’d think he’d be sensitive about prices..” – Big-Ad4382
“NTA”
“Do they usually try to take advantage of your generosity??? I’m so embarrassed for them.”
“Hoping this is a lesson well learned.” – AshlynM2
“NTA. Let your sister and BIL be salty about it, it was his dumb decision that led them to use their Spiderman movie fund. Tell her if she’s upset she can take it up with her husband.”
“Maybe next time he’ll just be quiet.” – LeisurelyLife710
“NTA”
“Your brother-in-law:”
- “Should have taught his son better than literally biting off more than he can chew/abusing the kindness of others.”
- “Agreed to pay the bill, well aware of how it would impact his budget.” – ForkMinus1
“NTA … A bet is a bet, and a $190 is way too much for 3 pounds of steak for a teenager.” – WinterDecay
“NTA. You were clear and got his agreement on the terms. The wait staff explained quite clearly that this was not a one-person meal, let alone something a 10-year-old would finish.”
“And if it was enough to blow their budget, it seems more than a little ungrateful that they would expect you to pay for it just to fulfill the whims of a kid.”
“$200 is a bit excessive for a meal as a treat.” – foodd22
“‘My sister said that he had used the budget that they had earmarked to take the family to see the new Spiderman movie…’”
“I’m in a very pessimistic mood today, but this screams sister trying to guilt you into paying for a movie trip.”
“She was at the table. She heard the deal. Both your sister and BIL are entitled here and OP, you are NTA” – Flashy-Promise-6915
“NTA.”
“You discussed it beforehand, and he agreed. They probably have enough leftovers for dinner the next night.”
“I feel a bit bad for your sister’s family, but they need to learn to budget and not take advantage of your generosity. Maybe offer to take the kids to see Spiderman next weekend if you want.”
“But you’re not obligated to do anything, and you were generous in taking them to dinner and agreeing to pay.”
“They don’t get to take advantage of your generosity by ordering the most expensive menu item that has enough food for the whole table and not listening to warnings.” – thorn969
“Nice job, OP! You only sought to teach your nephew a bit of self-awareness and ended up putting BIL back in his place! High five to you!”
“NTA”
“If you want to do something petty (please don’t), it would be really funny if you sent him a text with gamblers’ addiction contact info!” – OkSeat4312
“Anyone who justifies ordering the most expensive thing on the menu “because someone else is paying for it” doesn’t deserve to be taken out. Especially if they say it out loud.”
“NTA and I hope your BIL enjoyed the free humble pie that came with the meal.” – alk_adio_ost
Lesson well taught, OP.