We always want to help our family if we are able to do so. Most of the time, our help does not go unnoticed.
Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to show appreciation appropriately when people give up their time and change their plans to come to the aid of others.
Some even assume that someone offering help on one occasion means they are always free and open to offer help.
Redditor dreamgirl_sweet was always willing to help their brother when it came to his two children.
Even going so far as to change their plans to come to their rescue on a big night.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) would go on to regret their decision.
Even going so far as to tell their brother that they would no longer watch his children.
Wondering if they were overreacting, the OP took the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my brother i’m not Babysitting his kids anymore after they ruined my new year’s plans?”
The OP explained why they vowed to never watch their brother’s children ever again:
“Whenever my brother (27 M[ale]) needs help, I take care of his two kids (4 F[emale] and 6M).”
“Even though I love my niece and nephew, New Year’s Eve was the last blow for me.”
“My brother and his wife asked me to watch their kids while they went to a fancy New Year’s party.”
“Friends begged me to go with them even though I already had plans with other people.”
“They said they couldn’t find anyone else.”
“It was even an offer to pay me twice what I normally get, so I reluctantly agreed.”
“They were supposed to come back at 1 a.m., so I could still hang out with my friends late at night.”
“However, they did not show up at midnight.”
“I texted, called, and even tried calling the party location, but no one answered.”
“They finally got in around 4 a.m., and it was clear they were drunk.”
“They pretended it wasn’t a big deal.”
“My brother laughed when I told him how upset I was that they had left me all night and said, ‘You didn’t have anything important going on anyway’.”
“That hurt a lot. I told him they could no longer have me watch if they couldn’t respect my plans or time.”
“It’s making my brother mad, and he says I’m being too tough.”
“AITA because she wouldn’t watch after this?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community stood firmly behind the OP, agreeing they were in no way the a**hole for refusing to watch their brother’s children anymore.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s brother had taken advantage of them one too many times, and the fact that he laughed in their face after arriving home late and drunk made it abundantly clear that they needed to put a temporary end to being their go-to babysitter:
“NTA at all.”
“You made plans with friends before you had to change them to help your brother out.”
“It sounds like they take advantage of you always being there for them.”
“This is a wake-up call people need.”
“Your time is valuable, and if they can’t respect that, then they need to find other accommodations.”- Quiet-Patient5458
“NTA, they lied to you about when they would get back, knowing that you would miss your plans and wouldn’t help if you knew.”
“They clearly don’t respect you or your plans.”- PlaneWoodpecker843
“NTA.”
“Not only are they disrespectful of boundaries, they’re dismissive of you, take you for granted, and feel entitled to dump their kids on you.”
“Stick to your guns and say ‘no more’.”- Sue_Dohnim
“NTA.”
“You could have phoned the police that the children were abandoned with you and I’d still say NTA.”-naraic
“NTA.”
“You’re right, they don’t respect you or your plans.”- SL8Rgirl
“NTA.”
“You are being taken advantage of so you have every right to stop.”- grckalck
“NTA.”
“Absolutely not.”
“They have been taking advantage of you, and bullying you to meeting their needs.”
“They clearly have very little respect for your time.”
“They are being self-centered right now.”
“They are going to come at you with how hard it is to be a parent and how you just don’t understand.”
“How can YOU be so selfish.”
“Don’t fall for any of it.”
“It is all tactics used to manipulate you to get what they want.”
“Stand firm.”
“If you never want to watch them again, don’t.”
“They will figure it out.”
“They will be mad for awhile, but they will get past it.”
“If you do want to, but actually want boundaries, you can try something like.”
“’I had plans that I was excited about’.”
“‘I gave them up so that you two could have a night with the agreement that I would be able to catch the tail end of the party that I missed for you’.”
“‘You not only did not bother to come home on time, but you completely disregarded me or what we had agreed on’.”
“‘You went no contact, came home and blew me off’.”
“‘You have forgotten that what I do for you is a favor, not my responsibility’.”
“‘You are treating me like I am not important and what I need has no real value because you and your needs are more important than mine’.”
“‘Until you can apologize for treating me with such little respect on New Years, I will not be watching the kids’.”
“‘If you want to apologize and recognize that I am helping you because I chose to, not out of obligation, we can try again, so long as I am respected and shown gratitude’.”
“‘Entirely up to you’.”
“‘Then I would leave it. It is up to them’.”
“‘If anyone brings it up, you have the same response on repeat, every time.”
“’They were super late on New Year and ruined my plans’.”
“‘I have simply asked for an apology and a thanks for babysitting’.”
“‘I don’t not believe that is asking too much, so I’m going to wait for that’.”
“‘That is really the only thing stopping this from being over’.”
“‘If it is either of them, you just change the first word you ‘You’ and you are good to go.”
“But don’t back down.”
“Don’t get caught up in the emotion of it.”
“Stay steady.”
“Be super repetitive in your response.”
“You deserve to be respected.”
“You have done absolutely nothing wrong.”
“Any guilt you start to feel is them manipulating you.”
“It’s not real.”
“Guilt only comes when you do something that does not align with your values.”
“Like if you had screamed at the kids.”
“You would, rightfully, feel guilty for doing so.”
“What they do to try and get their way is trying to generate guilt.”
“Don’t let them.”- OhmsWay-71
“NTA.”
“You watch his kids for free and they took advantage of you.”
“Them being dismissive is even worse.”
“If they hired sitter and were 4 hours late, that would have been costly.”
“They are not considerate of your time or you as an individual and that behavior cannot be tolerated.”
“I don’t think they realize how valuable it is to have a reliable sitter.”
“Tell them NOW that you will NOT be watching the kids for two months.”
“If you tell them now, they cannot use the excuse of ‘I don’t know!’ and they can plan accordingly.”
“If they ask, those messages will be ignored.”
“They will likely guilt you to watch them under the guise of ‘you are punishing the kids!'”
“‘They are innocent, and they miss you!’.”
“If that is the case, say you are open to hanging out with your niece and nephew but BOTH parents MUST be present.”
“If not, then you know it’s not really because the kids miss you.”
“After the two-month hiatus, IF you decide to watch them again, they must agree to the following:”
“They must give you a cash ‘deposit’.”
“If they are late, that money is yours.”
“NO EXCEPTIONS.”
“They MUST turn on a ‘find my’ type tracker on their phones when they are out.”
“If they are extremely late, you have the option of bringing the kids to them.”
“If this happens, you will not watch the kids for another two months.”
“If your parents are brought into the argument and side with your brother, tell them that THEY can pay you an hourly rate to watch the kids.”
“That amount will double if the parents are late.”
“Also, they will need to provide a certain amount upfront.”
“Anything left-over will be returned.”
“The rules MAY relax in the future if they behave.”- Mochisaurus_rex
After changing their own plans to accommodate their brothers, being laughed at in their face was the very last reaction the OP deserved.
One imagines that the OP’s brother will soon realize how lucky he was to have a sibling who was so readily available to help him out. As it’s unlikely anyone else will be so willingly at his beck and call.