Family recipes can be a dirty business.
People expect them to be left in wills.
While others seriously take them to the grave.
Food can cause chaos.
Case in point…
Redditor absolutirony wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“WIBTA if I told my family that our ‘secret family recipe’ came from the side of a can?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Growing up every year around the holidays my mom would make fudge.”
“The story was this amazing fudge recipe came from her grandma who snagged it from a famous candy maker.”
“My mom didn’t get the recipe until she was an adult and we were always told that we couldn’t have it until we were 30.”
“In my late teens my mom asked me to help make the fudge with her a few times.”
“The recipe is very simple and this was all the exposure I needed to memorize it.”
“I’ve never once needed to write the recipe down.”
“It came out that I had the recipe early and my mom and her mom were both outraged.”
“I was given many warnings against sharing family secrets and told they were disappointed at my sneaking around them.”
“I’ve never shared the recipe with anyone besides my brother and sister.”
“I don’t have the same feelings about recipe hoarding, but I followed tradition.”
“However even now, 15ish years later, I’ll get comments about how they don’t entirely trust me since I came by the recipe dishonestly.”
“Tonight I was reading an article about a chef doing research on secret family recipes for pickled herring.”
“He managed to get copies of hundreds of recipes-200 of them were identical.”
“He traced them back to a cookbook from the 1960s.”
“This got me thinking about our family recipe.”
“After not much googling at all, I found ‘our’ exact recipe on the website for an evaporated milk company.”
‘They apparently have also printed the recipe on cans over the years.”
“This leads me to believe that either my grandma or her mother actually got the recipe from a can and lied about its origin.”
“I think this is hilarious and want to share the information.”
“We’ve been so secretive about a recipe that’s in public domain!”
“There’s really no reason to hoard it anymore.”
“Would I be the a**hole if I shared this knowledge with my mom?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“I say NTA – do it. Because this:”
“‘It came out that I had the recipe early and my mom and her mom were both outraged. I was given many warnings against sharing family secrets and told they were disappointed at my sneaking around them.'”
“What is even the point of having a cherished family tradition, if it ceases to to be something fun and just becomes a vehicle for bullying and emotional abuse?”
“F**k em! Out their BS ‘secret recipe.'”
“Tell them exactly why: because they’re being A**HOLES about it.” ~ Miss_OGinny
“Unless I’m misreading things, didn’t OP get the recipe almost by accident?”
“Her mother didn’t tell her explicitly, but she showed OP all the steps and ingredients multiple times.”
“I don’t see how it’s dishonest to remember something OP’s mom specifically showed her, and it’s certainly not cool to be a d*ck to OP for remembering.”
“If anybody spilled the beans on their ‘secret recipe,’ it was OP’s mom, which makes it even more of an asshole move to blame OP.” ~ Amber423
“My grandma was always this way with her spaghetti meat sauce.”
“She would ‘share’ the recipe with my mom but always left one or two ingredients out.”
“Well, thank god my mom is an amazing cook because hers is way better than my grandma’s after she played around with different flavors.”
“My grandma was always salty about it till she died.”
“I don’t understand why people are like that with their own family, like get over yourself.” ~ melancholy_melon_
“I find all of this absolutely hilarious because all of my moms treasured family recipes came labels.”
“Her recipe book was just a folder filled with labels and cut out parts of boxes.”
“The best part is that people LOVED her food and she was always a huge hit at parties.”
“I’ve never understood the point of hoarding recipes! It’s not like it detracts from your enjoyment of the dish.” ~ Jilltro
“Dude, your own mother is going off at you for ‘learning the recipe dishonestly’ when she f**king asked you to help her with it.”
“And basically taught you like it’s somehow your fault that you retain information, probably to avoid anger on her for sharing it with you in the first place even though she only needed help making fudge.”
“Do you really think that showing them that their secret recipe isn’t really the awesome story they were told is going to have a good impact on your life?”
“Like really when you really really think about it, is this a good idea for your sanity or will you just be adding more fuel to the fire of crazy?” ~ AnorhiDemarche
“NTA. I’ve always thought ‘secret family recipes’ were some old style gatekeeping bulls**t.”
“Share the recipe and let everyone enjoy some tasty fudge.”
“Who cares if it came from a can or the world’s leading fudge expert?”
“Food is an art.”
“Just because everyone has the recipe doesn’t mean they’ll make it the same.” ~ Therickster2
“This is the episode of friends when phoebe found out her dead grandmas secret cookie recipe was the one on the back of the nestle tollhouse chocolate chip bag.”
“’This is why you’re burning in hell!’”
“NTA. Burst some bubbles.” ~ s3x_p3ac3
“NTA. Saw the heading and just knew it was going to be the carnation fudge recipe.”
“It is a good recipe!”
“I don’t understand how they asked for your help making the fudge, then be mad that you know the recipe.”
“I think you should make some for this Christmas, wait for someone to make a comment and reply ‘Oh no, I can’t be trusted with the family recipe, so I used this one’ and whip out a can of carnation.” ~ Goldskilt
“I don’t think you are an a**hole and I don’t think you would be an a**hole.”
“But the fact is that recipe is really special to them regardless of it’s origins.”
“So a**hole or not I think it will likely hurt their feelings at least a little bit, but they’ll probably get over it.”
“It’s also important to remember that you can never unsay anything.”
“So I guess the question is, do you want to ruin something really special for them for no real reason?”
“You gain nothing by telling them.”
“So NTA either way.” ~ Argent_Jinx
“They literally still have trust issues because OP came about the recipe ‘dishonestly.'”
“I agree OP likely has nothing to gain by telling their family, but only because they seem at least a bit legitimately crazy.”
“Family would likely overreact and take it out on OP, or just not react at all.”
“I don’t think OP should worry about hurting feelings, just the potential bulls**t that may result from this.” ~ IamProbablyARobot
“Well now, you know how mums can be.”
“I think you have to ask yourself whether it’s really worth it.”
“Your family sound really invested in the mythology of the recipe.”
“And chances are they may already suspect or know the truth anyway and this is the ‘secret part’ of the recipe which is revealed on your 30th letting you in on the family joke.”
“I don’t think working out the recipe was a dishonest way to come about the information.”
“But generally people don’t tend to react positively when you destroy long held life views, especially about family traditions.”
“I know my mum’s special oatmeal and raisin cookies are basically the recipe on the Quaker oats box.”
“I will never let on though because she gets so much joy from the thought of being the only one who can make me these treats.”
“It’s up to you OP but NAH.” ~ Witthefit
“NTA – they freaked out at you for ‘having the secret family recipe early’ which meant you ‘couldn’t be trusted’ but it turns out the entire ~secret~ recipe was a lie made up by grandma for clout?”
“And half the country has had it this whole time!”
“Lmfao why do they deserve their fake high horse to look down on other family members from?”
“Exposing someone else’s rude hypocrisy doesn’t make you an a**hole.” ~ calamitylamb
“NTA.”
“My mom didn’t get the recipe until she was an adult and we were always told that we couldn’t have it until we were 30.”
“So fudge can be really good, or really shi**y.”
“The shi**y fudge has a horrible texture and tastes like a lot of sugar and nothing else.”
“And your family is using the quick to make, shi**y recipe, and not letting anyone see that fudge can actually be good, and then telling you you can’t see the recipe till you’re 30 and indoctrinated into the shi**y fudge society.”
“End this now!!”
“This is like if someone’s mom tells them that they have a secret recipe for tomato soup, and one day you finally find the cans of Campbells.”
“Really, WTF???” ~ Twzl
Well OP, Reddit understands your wanting to expose the secret.
Secrets always have a way of coming out.
Hopefully whatever you chose only brings comedy and not chaos.