Roommates can really be the worst. Depending on who you live with, you can have any number of issues between refusing to do the dishes to something much more serious.
Reddit user Green_Tourist was in one of the more serious situations. A roommate threw out something extremely important to him, and he was put in a difficult position.
In order to discern if he’d handled it correctly, Green_Tourist went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA”.
“AITA for demanding my roommate pay me back for medication he threw out that was in our shared bathroom during one of his random cleaning sessions?”
Our original poster, or OP, talked about the reason he was taking this medication in the first place:
“Last month I was diagnosed with a sh*tty ailment. I had to go to a pharmacy and pay about $300 (even with insurance) for medication that should have lasted me about 3 months.”
“I use the mirror in the bathroom of my residence to administer the medication, so I kept my prescription in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.”
OP’s roommate has a particular quirk that put him in conflict with OP:
“Now, I do live with a roommate and we share the bathroom. As you can see where I am going with this, yes my roommate.”
“My roommate loves Adderall and cleaning. About a week after purchasing my medication, my roommate took Adderall and cleaned the whole house without warning me.”
“During his clean in the bathroom, he decided to rearrange everything. The next thing I know, a couple of my razors are missing with some other toiletries were gone.”
“…And, my $300 medication.”
OP’s roommate denied any knowledge until being called out:
“I asked my roommate a few times if he had seen my medicine, and he mentioned he’ll take a look around if perhaps he put it somewhere.”
“Well, it’s been 3 weeks now and I asked him again and he said sorry nope I have not seen them. I explain the cost of the medication, and he immediately says he’s not paying me nor responsible because medication should be kept in our separate rooms (as he claims with suddenly made up rules).”
So OP is now threatening more legal steps:
“I live here. I pay rent every month just like he does.”
“I am allowed to use my bathroom and reasonably keep belongings in there without worry. I demanded he pays or else I will go to the landlord about possible theft.”
“I understand his side of the story, except he has the medicine cabinet stocked with Tylenol and cough drops and all other types of medications, so I find it weird he singles mine out.”
“AITA???”
Redditors helped OP discern where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
People were immediately on OP’s side.
“NTA, the rule is simple when sharing space, if it’s not yours don’t touch it (unless you are lifting it up to clean under it or a dirty dish to be moved to the kitchen). Definitely no one has the right to throw away something that doesn’t belong to them specially when it’s crystal clear like medications.”~Simplyme84
“NTA. My first thought was your medication had abuse potential. If he abuses adderall there’s no reason he couldn’t find something irresistible about your medication. However, it’s never acceptable to tamper with someone else’s medications. I would go to the landlord or small claims court. $300 is a lot of money!”~gLoriousBunny
“Pharmacist here hopping on the top comment in the hopes that this will be seen. Your roommate is a dick. If he needs proof feel free to head back to your pharmacy and explain the situation to them. They can do a few things for you.”
“A) print out a duplicate receipt of the label with the cost on the outside that sticks to the rx bag. It’ll have the cost but not the intended use of the rx. B) see if you can have the tech (or yourself) find you a coupon for the meds from good rx and see if you can pay out of pocket C) ask the tech, politely, if they could please call your insurance and request an emergency/lost rx status override to the insurance. You occasionally can get a once a year ‘oops’ replacement for a lost or damaged rx. D) file a police report about your stolen medication.”
“Submit it to the insurance company. Once submitted let the pharmacy know about the claim and they will work with them to get you the zero cost replacement.”~throwawaypreggo1989
“NTA. Tell him that you are going to file a police report if he doesn’t pay for the medicine. Tell him you’ll be telling them about his Adderall cleaning binges. If that doesn’t get him to do anything about it, plan on moving out. Maybe there are a few things of his that are worth $300…”~crystallz2000
In fact, some Redditors are encouraging OP to take his roommate to court:
“Please know – you have more than enough to ‘prove’ he stole your medication, to a civil (small claims) court. Like, easily.”
“Civil court doesn’t have a ‘reasonable doubt’ standard. It has a ‘preponderance of evidence’ standard. And fundamentally, if you fill out the police report and inform your insurance and do all of that admin, you’d be able to win a civil case. In Civil court the question isn’t ‘is there any doubt at all that this person did what they are accused of?’ so much as it’s ‘is this accusation the most likely of all the possibilities?'”
“And then which is more likely? That he threw them out in an Adderall fueled mania – or that you lost your own medication and then engaged in several layers of fraud to frame your roommate?”
“Spoiler alert – it’s the former.”~Mantisfactory
“IMO the next part of your conversation should be you talking out loud.”
”’Well, if you didn’t move them and I didn’t move them then our apartment has been broken in to. I guess I’ll have to call the police and have them go through our apartment to gather what information they can.’”
“Not that the cops will do anything unless they are bored out of their minds but I’m thinking an Adderrall abuser probably isn’t thinking too logically and it may motivate them to either come clean or reimburse you.”~Biskit939
“Honestly if OP is going to go to the police to file a report, I’d also be going to the landlord because the roommate situation is going to get worse.”
“If this is a situation where the landlord rents different rooms (not sure, couldn’t tell by the post) then the landlord should absolutely be made aware if there’s a possibility of escalation.”
“Had a friend with a volatile roommate. Landlord was able to get the roommate evicted based on the police reports and them actually talking to him.”
“Also, if if it’s not a rent a room scenario, sometimes landlords can be very understanding and willing to allow you to bounce without repercussions if the situation deteriorates quickly.”~VibrantSunsets
“Don’t forget to check out GoodRx and call the manufacturer of your med to see if they have an aid/discount program. And ask your doc if they have samples or coupons or can suggest other help.”
“Tell them explicitly that your roommate stole or threw out your medication and you cannot afford more.”
“It is definitely roommates responsibility to replace the meds. But he will not do it and you can’t prove that he took them.”
“Have you told his family/social circle? And do they know he abuses his Adderall? That’s not safe.”
“Plan now on where you’ll live and with whom at the end of your current lease.”
“And keep your meds locked somewhere safe. Even if you live alone, if you ever have guests things can happen, especially if you have something people are tempted to try or to sell.”~Meghanshadow
The situation seems like it only has the potential to get worse, additionally:
“NTA but maybe first double check if he just put it somewhere else in the house. Kind of weird to throw out a prescription medicine since they put the dates and everything on the bottles? It’s not like the medicine would look old/expired if you recently got it.”~Beanie_bby
“NTA. I’m very delayed in responding here, but I used to work in a pharmacy and know prescription insurance fairly well. I would recommend contacting your insurance company and asking them if they cover stolen medication.”
“There were a few times where someone had their medication stolen and were able to get their meds filled and covered again by insurance. I don’t know if your plan has a policy for this or not, but it certainly couldn’t hurt to inquire about it.”
“And I would highly recommend filing a police report. I don’t exactly know what will come of it; as your roommate so nicely pointed out, you can’t prove anything.”
“But if they took your meds, it’s in a prescription bottle with your name on it. If it’s in their room or car or something, easy to prove it’s yours and they stole it. But a police report is the first step towards making a claim for medical insurance and renters insurance if you wanted to try that route.”
“A police report against your roommate may also be helpful in convincing a landlord to let you break a lease agreement and get out of there, cause your roommate is sh*t lol”~KroosyWoosy
“NTA. Be prepared to have to make a police report, as well. Your landlord might require one. Also make sure to emphasize that your roommate was on a drug binge when the theft happened to both your landlord and the cops (if it’s necessary to make a report to them).”
“It will definitely help. Hopefully he will pony up the money before it gets that far tho.”~MousseDisastrous
“You know you’re not the AH. The real question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“Do you sublet to him, or does he sublet to you? Can you threaten to kick him out? Would he ‘break’ if you said, ‘Fine, if you won’t return my meds, I’m calling the police to report this as theft,’ and then called them (non-emergency line) in front of him?”
“Would he break if the police came and told him to give it up? (Police do help with domestic matters sometimes, if you get a decent officer to respond.”
“If you don’t get a good officer, the only advice I can offer is to be persistent/demanding enough that it’s more bother to deny you than to chastise him. Channel your inner Karen or whatever.)”
“At a minimum, calling the cops and insisting they write up a report will give you the first piece of a document trail to take him to small claims court (where it’s pretty easy to represent yourself, and most people do). You should also be making time-stamped notes (sending yourself emails or whatever) re: inconsistencies and changes in his story over time.”
“If you’re lucky, he gives in to pressure at an earlier step along the way and you get your meds back or your money. If you’re not that lucky, do you have friends or family you can borrow from in the meantime (while you work with the courts)?”
“You can try searching for things like ‘grants and loans for prescription drugs’ to find patient assistance programs & some charitable organizations that might be able to help you out. (Patient assistance programs are usually run by pharmaceutical companies; most of the charitable orgs are specific to particular illnesses.
“Some of those are for rare disorders & diseases, if yours is rare, though.) Good luck.”~ChimericalTrainer
OP has a very difficult moment ahead of him, regardless of the path he takes.
We wish him luck In getting the money for his medication.