Food allergies are no joke.
Some can be life-threatening.
Peanut allergies can be one of the most dangerous.
So a lot of peanut survivors feel they need to take extra precautions.
Redditor u/Royal_Celebration494 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the"Am I The A**hole"(AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
"AITA for 'lying' about my peanut allergy?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"For some context, I (22 M[ale]) have had a peanut allergy for my entire life. "
"The 'I’ll die if I eat one' kind."
"It is a well-known fact about me across both friends and family."
"I’ve never had issues being around them, though; I don’t ever say someone can’t eat something with peanut butter around me."
"It’s only if I eat it that something happens."
"Two summers ago, I got blood tested, and my peanut allergy came back low enough for me to do a challenge."
"Basically, they fed me increasingly more and more peanut butter over a 3-hour span to see if anything happened."
"It didn’t, and they said I outgrew my allergy."
"Later that evening, however, I got really sick and threw up 8 times in 4 hours, but I don’t think it was peanut butter related (as my sister had an illness earlier that week)."
"Now the smell of peanut butter makes me feel queasy and nauseous, so I just stay away from it (also because I hated the taste)."
"I still tell people I’m allergic if it comes up, though, sometimes out of habit and also because it’s easier to explain. "
"Only close friends/family know."
"Flashing forward to last week, someone I know (let’s call her Trish) was throwing a mutual friend (Sally) a 21st birthday party."
"We (me and Trish) have never really gotten along, but I was nice and cordial because I love Sally and wanted to be there."
"The theme was D&D (Drinks and Desserts), with a bunch of people coming over."
"Trish was coordinating what desserts people bring. "
"When she was asking about dietary restrictions, I didn’t say anything, but one of my friends in the group chat said: 'OP has a peanut allergy.”'
"I responded, saying, 'I do, but don’t stop anyone from bringing anything because of it,' and she liked my message."
"I didn’t think anything of it the day of the party, and there were no desserts with peanuts in them."
"I didn’t notice this until someone asked someone else about an apparently famous chocolate peanut butter pie."
"That person said, “Trish said that OP had a peanut allergy and to bring something else.'"
"I said, 'I said that she shouldn’t restrict people from bringing something because of me, to which one of my close friends said, 'Aren’t you not even allergic, technically?'”
"Thanks, dude."
"Well, Trish overhears this and loudly exclaims, 'WHAT??'”
"Not wanting this to turn into a big deal, I explain the story and that it’s easier to say I’m still allergic in a half-jokey tone."
"She then goes off on me, calling me selfish and attention-seeking for telling her about an allergy I didn’t even have."
"I responded, saying that I told her specifically NOT to restrict people’s food."
"At this point, everybody is staring at us, and I can see where this is going, so I just stop talking, say goodbye to Sally, and leave."
"I wake up this morning to texts from different people."
"Some of them are asking if I’m okay, but a lot of others are saying that I should apologize to Trish for 'lying to her.'”
"My two closest friends are telling me I’m not in the wrong, but I wanted to get other people’s opinions."
The OP was left to wonder:
"Am I the as*hole?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors were a little all over the map with their thoughts on who was the A-hole..
"I have an intolerance to several foods and preservatives used in food."
"My doctor has told me that they could become a full allergy if I continue to consume the foods in question."
"I just say I'm allergic to them cause explaining my intolerance tends to lead people to assume I can eat it; I just don't like it."
'I eat mushrooms, and I get a rash, and my throat itches."
"But it's not enough for it to be an allergy kinda thing."
"But it could be if I keep eating them." ~ dexterdarko2009
"I have Oral Allergy Syndrome (not a direct allergy; it's a cross-reaction of my actual grass and weed pollen allergy; my immune system reacts to a bunch of raw fruits and vegetables because of similar protein structures)."
"Severe abdominal cramping and then nonstop vomiting for around 6-8 hours are my typical symptoms a couple hours after eating foods that cause the reaction."
"So definitely could be the OP's stomach issues was an immune response a few hours later." ~ GlitterBombFallout
"NTA - you're not even the one who mentioned the allergy."
"However, I do think you should stop telling people you have a peanut allergy."
"It would be better to refer to it as 'peanut sensitivity' and let people know it is no longer a life-or-death issue for you." ~ LABruin78
"Yes, 'peanut sensitivity' seems like a reasonable and honest term to use."
"Personally, if it were me, I'd probably want to avoid peanuts after having an allergy like that, even if it was theoretically safe at this point, just because it seems like my immune system could always decide to start being allergic again." ~ 100indecisions
"You are entirely NTA because you didn't even bring up the allergy, but transitioning your vocabulary away from 'deadly allergy' to a 'severe aversion/sensitivity' will save you from future social landmines." ~ Quandoraene
"Bro—people take allergies seriously."
"Of course she decided to avoid peanuts at all cost because you freaking told her you were allergic."
"How hard is it to tell people; 'I outgrew my peanut allergy, but I’m not a fan.'"
"It’s one sentence. YTA." ~ Independent-Cat6915
"How is everyone missing the fact that OP isn't even sure they've grown out of the allergy?"
"They vomited eight times in four hours afterward, and, yeah, it might be an unrelated illness, but there's obviously uncertainty there."
"Clearly, OP did their due diligence and mentioned that there was no need for anyone to heed the allergy, but understandably doesn't wanna say, 'Yeah, I don't have an allergy' because they don't even know if that's true." ~ AmicableQuince
"Most allergies are not so severe you need to keep all allergen-containing foods out of the room."
"If he said it wasn’t a problem, there’s no reason to tell people as if it’s a safety issue."
"Just be sure to clearly mark the safe food and avoid cross-contamination."
"As a host, for a small group I might still ask that people bring peanut-free dishes because I don’t want a guest singled out."
"But that’s my choice".
"OP seems totally reasonable to me."
"They used to have a severe peanut allergy."
"They may still have an allergy, just with milder symptoms… they’re not lying about having an allergy!"
"This isn’t a situation of just not liking peanuts."
"And since allergies can change severity with age/exposure, I’d totally respect their decision to not take risks with it."
"I say OP is NTA." ~ Moldy_slug
"If you told them ahead of time not to worry about your 'allergies' and to not let it affect anything, definitely NTA." ~ OriginalDanBlah
"I'm gonna say NTA because i have a ton of weird medical issues that are triggered by a bunch of different foods, and I was pretty much explicitly instructed by nurses and doctors to 'just say it's an allergy unless a professional is taking your medical history; it's easier for most people to understand and therefore less risky.'"
"There's still a chance it was the peanut butter in the test that made you sick. "
"Just saying you're allergic until it's absolutely, beyond reasonable doubt, proven otherwise, can save your life."
"People who don't care to try and understand this aren't worth it." ~ johnnybird95
"Same. I was told to say many of my weird food sensitivities are allergies because that is understood by most normal people."
"If I say sensitivity they roll their eyes and serve me something with hot peppers and think I just don't like them (I do) or maybe I get a little tummy ache."
"They don't realize I will first get constipated for a few days and then sh*t all those days of my guts out over the course of an entire day."
"It won't actually kill me, but damn does it really take a toll on my body."
"Also makes my joints ache for a few days."
"My other sensitivities give me nasty headaches; those seem to be pollen-based foods."
"It's weird but it hurts so i have to avoid certain fresh foods and say inhave allergies." ~ Memory_Of_A_Slygar
"I agree, some of these comments are weird to me."
"People are saying OP is an as*hole for not explaining, but he’s not even sure the allergy is actually gone."
"It’s a complicated health issue."
"It feels like the whole thing was blown out of proportion."
"I have a gluten sensitivity, but I don’t bother telling most people because I still eat things with gluten a lot and I don’t want people taking it the wrong way and accusing me of lying."
"I am legitimately sensitive to gluten, but I just deal with the stomach issues because I’m a dumbass 😭."
"If I get something gluten-free, I just tell them it’s a preference and not an allergy so they don’t have to go through all these extra steps and it’s just easier for everyone."
"I can sympathize with him wanting to simplify it." ~ margittwen
This is a very sensitive issue, OP.
This is your life and health.
It's always best to be careful.
