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Single Dad Called Out For ‘Encouraging’ Daughter Who Wants To Be A ‘Housewife’ When She Grows Up

Photo by Matt Seymour/Unsplash

Everyone has ideas on how to be the perfect parent.

And for the most part everyone is wrong.

There is no perfect “how-to.”

It’s all about flying blind.

But that doesn’t stop people from getting involved when they weren’t asked.

Case in point…

Redditor throwawayaita97 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for encouraging my daughter to be a housewife?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My daughter is at that stage where kids pretend they are grown ups with jobs.”

“The jobs differ depending on who she meets or sees in the TV.”

“In the last few months, she wanted to be a teacher, babysitter, truck driver, president, garbage collector, photographer, ‘knee doctor’ (after I injured it), scientist, witch, football steward.”

“Last month I was watching a football match with her and she asked me why are the people in yellow not watching the game.”

“When I explained they are there to ensure that no one go to the pitch she told me that’s what she wants to do when she grows up because they get paid to do nothing lol.”

“I try to play along with every job she wants to do and buy her the required tools for it if I could afford it.”

“For the steward job I got her a little vest and made her an official badge.”

“She would stand in silence watching me and after a few minutes demand I pay her.”

“Last Saturday an old friend of mine paid us a visit, my daughter asked her about her job.”

“My friend replied that she is a housewife so for the whole afternoon my daughter kept interrogating her.”

“After my friend left all my daughter wants to do since then is to be a housewife.”

“She already has 3 kids that she helps with homework and teach them manners, and each one of them has a food allergy.”

“Yesterday we were coming back from the grocery store when we met some neighbors.”

“They started talking with her when she told them she just came back from the grocery store to make dinner for her husband and children.”

“They gave me some weird looks and said goodbye.”

“A few hours later they knocked on my door, they wanted to have a private discussion with me.”

“After I explained what’s happening, they gave me a one hour lecture about how stupid and ignorant I was.”

“And I should stop encouraging this because I was damaging my daughter.”

“They told me we aren’t in the 60s anymore and young girls shouldn’t dream about being housewifes anymore.”

“And demanded I stop brainwashing my daughter because her subconscious will start settling for being a housewife instead of dreaming about bigger things.”

“I haven’t been able to sleep since then, I had my daughter when I was 19 and now I am 24, her mom wants nothing to do with her.”

“Everyday has been a struggle and most of the time I don’t even know if what I am doing is right.”

“So the thought of unintentionally hurting my daughter is filling me with guilt.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“I don’t really get the sense of you [encouraging her to be a housewife], so much as you [encouraging her].”

“This week it’s a housewife, next week could be an astronaut. It doesn’t matter.”

“You’re not dictating to her, you’re just letting her express interest and encouraging it.”

“And hey. She’s five.”

“She’ll change her mind on what she wants to be when she grows up a million times before she’s 18.”

“And then quite possibly end up doing something she’d never thought of anyway, because life’s like that.”

“For this alone:”

“I try to play along with every job she wants to do and buy her the required tools for it if I could afford it.”

“You’re a fab dad.”

“NTA. Anyone trying to tell you otherwise is.”  ~ ieya404

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent.”

“But I think it makes sense to be concerned about it being a child’s sole goal in life.”

“Because it essentially requires being dependent on another person to a larger extent.”

“And most parents want their children to learn to be independent so they can be successful on their own.”

“But these neighbors are TA for sure.”  ~ GalliumYttrium1

“The nosey neighbours would be right to be concerned if OP was teaching his daughter that housework and motherhood were her only possible future as a girl, but that isn’t so.”  ~ aquila-audax

“Exactly this.”

“He’s actually doing the complete opposite and teaching her she can be whatever she wants to be.”

“If that’s a housewife great, is it’s president great!”


“You’re setting a fantastic example for your daughter and these neighbours are total AH!”

“Even if they had a valid point they have no right to come into your home and lecture you on your parenting.”

“Who the hell do they think they are?”

“You keep doing you OP.”

“Your daughter is a lucky girl.”  ~ MEwarrior88

“It is not feminists that are the issue, it is people that misunderstand feminism.”

“The whole point is to have the choice to do what you want to do, and be what you want to be.”

“I read somewhere that ‘in the bad old days men stopped women from choosing to work but now women stop women from choosing to stay home.”

“They couch it as feminism but it is still trying to limit a woman’s choice so is it actually any different?”

“OP is NTA as it sounds like he is a better example of actual feminism than the interfering neighbors.”  ~ LibbyBSP

“Also if she learns ‘how to be a housewife’ then at least for a week she’ll tidy up after herself and be enthusiastic enough to help with laundry or any of the other ‘housewife’ jobs that are just chores you have to do as an adult.”

“She’ll probably learn and remember things like that and when she is an adult and settles on being a marine biologist maybe she’ll remember how to mop the floor and pay bills.”

“OP to add the best move my parents pulled on me in this phase was teaching me how to wash the car.”

“I had a great time, they got there car cleaned for free (except for the higher water bill because 6 year old me really enjoyed the ‘rinsing’ part of car washing).”  ~ Peace-Technician


“Throughout my childhood, I was convinced I was going to be a veterinarian.”

“Do you know what I am now?”

“I’m a librarian, and I LOVE my job!”

“In fact, one of my best friends, who is a vet, told me that my job fits me because I always enjoyed reading and talking about books!”

“Yes, there are some individuals, like my friend, who sticks with the path to the job of their dreams.”

“But many of us end up doing something else and finding satisfaction in it.”

“Keep encouraging your daughter’s interests and when she’s older, she’ll thank you for it!”

“NTA!”  ~ aquavenatus

“NTA. She’ll change her mind so many times before she grows up.”

“My kid wanted to be a unicorn at 5.”

“Thankfully, that didn’t happen for her.”

“Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job as her dad.”

“Absolutely no one has the right to judge or comment on how you’re doing your job.”

“But let me know if you need a unicorn horn for your kid.”

“I might have a line on some.”  ~ Knitiotsavant

“I am a childfree gothy tattoo artist.”

“I’ve always hated anything ‘feminine,’ and strive to be as unladylike as physically possible.”

“However. My very best friend is a blonde bombshell fashionista stay at home.”

“The exact caricature of the 60’s lady that your neighbors warned against.”

“And do you know what we both have in common?”

“We’re really freaking happy with our life choices.”

“She loves being a mum.”

“She has funny, smart, gorgeous kids, and she takes pride in keeping her house in order.”

“Her husband is wonderful, and really nails that home/work life balance.”

“And I love owning a fuck tonne of snakes and having enough money to upgrade my gaming PC whenever I like.”

“What I’m trying to say, is that there’s no set definition of womanhood.”

“And there shouldn’t be.”

“Happiness is the key to true empowerment, and we should be elevating all of our sisters.”

“No matter the differences in lifestyles.”

“So NTA, OP.”

“Just keep loving and supporting your daughter through all of her ‘phases.'”

“And make sure to hype up her decision when/if she finally settles on one.”  ~ CrazySnekGirl

“I’m struggling with the idea that you stood there and let some neighbors lecture you for an hour and how you raise your own child.”

“I can’t imagine such a conversation going more than two or three minutes, tops.”  ~ dsdssdssz

Well OP is in your corner.

Some people are always going to have an opinion.

You keep raising you daughter your way.

It sounds like she’s pretty happy.