We can all agree that big financial decisions, like buying a car or a house, should be made after thoroughly thinking it through.
It’s just as important to think through who we might make a big financial decision with, like a partner, friend, or family member, cautioned the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Realistic_Project704 co-owned a house with her sister that they inherited from their grandparents, and they often disagreed about what to do with the house.
But when she found out that her sister went so far as to try to take out a loan against the house without consulting with her, the Original Poster (OP) knew she could no longer trust her sister or her financial management skills.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for refusing to sign for my sister’s loan after she tried to do it behind my back?”
The OP and her sister didn’t always agree about what to do with their shared home.
“My sister (29 Female) and I (26 Female) inherited a house from our grandparents a few years ago. It’s a two-family house, and both of our names are on the deed, so we both technically own it.”
“We’ve been living together ever since, though we’ve had our fair share of arguments about the place over the years.”
But the OP especially didn’t agree with the new plans her sister had for it.
“A few days ago, I found out that my sister has been trying to take out a loan against the house. She didn’t tell me about it, so I only found out after seeing some paperwork with both our names on it.”
“Naturally, I got pretty upset and confronted her about it.”
“She tried to brush it off, saying she just needed the money for ‘some stuff,’ but when I asked her more details, she couldn’t give me a clear answer.”
“I told her if she wanted to take a loan out on the house, she needed to buy me out. I’m not comfortable with her using our shared house as collateral without me being involved in the decision.”
“But she got mad and said, ‘You’re being dramatic. I’ll take care of the payments, you don’t have to worry about anything. Just sign the papers, and you won’t have to do anything.'”
The OP was sure her sister didn’t have the financial prowess to pull this off.
“The thing is, I know her. She’s been irresponsible with money in the past, from missing credit card payments, struggling to pay rent, to even not paying bills on time. I just don’t trust her to keep up with the loan payments, and if she misses them, we could lose the house.”
“So I told her, ‘I’m not signing anything. If you miss the payments, we could both lose everything. I’m not willing to risk it.'”
“She got really defensive and told me I was being selfish and not supportive. She said I should trust her, that she’d never let the house go.”
“But honestly, I don’t think I can trust her with something like this, especially since I know how bad things could get if she misses a couple of payments.”
“Now she’s mad at me and calling me unreasonable, saying I’m trying to sabotage her and that I’m just being difficult for no reason.”
“AITAH for refusing to sign for this loan and telling her to buy me out instead?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
It was clear to some Redditors that the only solution was for one sister to buy the other out.
“NTA! Let here buy your share of the property, and then she can do whatever she wants. If she wasn’t honest from the beginning, then for sure she has something to hide! Take care.” – Candid_Process1831
“The solution is for OP to buy her out. She needs the money. Her credit is s**t. This is OP’s chance to give her what she needs and for the OP to be free of this potentially hazardous business partner.” – Virtual-Instance-898
“Clearly, the sister won’t be able to buy her out if she is trying to get a loan, so I’m wondering if OP is in a position to buy her sister out and take sole ownership. Her sister then has whatever money, and OP keeps the house without any future risks.” – TranWreckin
“You’ve done nothing wrong. Let her buy your share or she can forget it. She’s given you every reason not to trust her, especially since she tried to do this behind your back. She can buy your share or you can tell her it’s not happening.” – mileyxmorax
“NTA. Of course you are NTA! You should contact your attorney! I am glad you have. Let me ask you, if your sister needs the money so bad, are you able to buy her out? This might be an opportunity.”
“But if you do, make sure she is not allowed to live in your house. Rent the other side out. This way she won’t ever take advantage of her half again.” – Playful-Sprinkles-59
“Don’t sign. If she keeps up the pressure, the only option might just be to sell the house. You can each take your share and go your own ways.” – Life_Beautiful_8136
Others reassured the OP that she was right to feel hesitant about signing off on the loan.
“The moment she said, ‘Trust me,’ that’s when you knew something was off. Trust is earned, especially when it comes to big decisions like this.”
“You’re right to be cautious, and it’s not your job to blindly trust someone who’s shown a pattern of irresponsibility with money. Trusting her now would only set you up for potential problems later.” – elliedesirable
“NTA. Stand your ground, and what kind of ‘stuff does she need to buy anyway?!”
“If she needs a loan, she can go to the bank and get a consumer loan. If she can even qualify.” – asafeplaceofrest
“NTA. You’re being smart and protecting yourself. Your sister is already being shady and has shown she can’t be trusted. It sounds like the time has come for one of you to buy the other out.” – Anxious-Routine-5526
“She already signed your name? Under no circumstance condone that and contact the loan officials and tell them that you found some people with with your name forged and they should be particularly careful.” – Jerold62712
“If she already signed your name without your consent, that’s a huge red flag.”
“You need to contact the loan officials immediately and let them know your signature was forged. Make sure they’re aware of the situation so they can be extra careful with the paperwork moving forward. Forgery is serious, and you should protect yourself legally as soon as possible.” – xonaiomitsxo
“Be sure to let your bank know to alert you of any loan applications that your name is tagged to. Flag it so that she cannot forge anything.”
“If your sister is trying to take a loan out already, it means she needs the money, and people get tunnel vision when they’re denied what they want. So she’s likely to find other ways.”
“Make sure to also freeze your credit.”
“Save yourself the trouble by being preemptive.”
“NTA.” – pseudolin
“NTA! Good grief, NO. She’s proven to be irresponsible in the past, and she’s being shady about what she needs the money for. Red flags flying everywhere!” – Alarming_Paper_8357
“Don’t do it. Owning property at such a young age is going to give you an incredible boost in life.”
“Plus, there are red flags everywhere. She said she needs a loan for ‘some stuff.’ What the f**k does that mean? To me, that means vacations and designer bags and good, old-fashioned 1980s street stuff, and crap that doesn’t matter after you buy it.”
“You’ll get all of that not too much later in life if you’re responsible. And you won’t have to risk bankruptcy or losing your house to do it.”
“Honestly, if you’re responsible and she isn’t, would you consider buying her out? She seems money hungry.”
“You could probably do it at a good cost. I don’t know the house’s value, but if you took a loan and offered her a third of what it’s worth cash, she’ll probably do it just to get money NOW. Then you own the whole thing. You can rent out her unit and pay back the loan with that.”
“Your instincts are 100 percent correct. Don’t get a loan if you have to depend on her paying it back. NTA.” – lostarrow-333
The subReddit was alarmed by the fact that it sounded like the sister had already attempted to sign off on the loan herself, thereby making the choice for the OP and pretending that she was the OP by forging her name.
Even if that’s not exactly what happened, her demands to take out a loan against the house when her fellow homeowner did not want to was deeply problematic and would likely lead to much greater problems in the future.
If the OP could afford it, it sounded like the best option for both of them would be for her to buy her sister out, so her sister would get the instant gratification of receiving money now, while the OP could enjoy the benefits of being a homeowner and receive additional money from a renter.