Money is an issue for everyone nowadays.
Everybody needs money.
And there is no shame in asking for help.
But is there a limit for how much help and how may times you can ask?
Case in point…
Redditor relaxedsouthernlivin wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“WIBTA if I went to a superior about a coworker constantly asking for money?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My one coworker constantly sets up a GoFundMe or has asked other coworkers to buy her house warming gifts.”
“The first time she bought a house I gave $15 towards the pot and pan set the office was taking a collection for.”
“Last Christmas she made a GoFundMe me for her son to get his car fixed (some mechanic originally scammed them) I gave $50.”
“She ended up having to move and buy a different house (out of her control) which was more money than her first home due to the market and needs work.”
“She posted a GoFundMe for it.”
“She posted this GoFundMe on our inter office chat platform and she private emailed my personal email soliciting a donation.”
“I felt pressured and gave 50 dollars.”
“This was about 4 months ago.”
“Two people donated from work and in total one being me and the other our coworker who is also her cousin.”
“Today she asked if I would post the GoFundMe page to our inter office chat platform soliciting for people to help her.”
I”‘m not comfortable doing this and not comfortable saying no.”
“I’m also annoyed because she knows I just got a second job due to financial issues.”
“And she knows a lot of our coworkers, me included have been promoting our children’s fundraiser and this seems like a ridiculous request to take away from kids.”
“WIBTA if I told my employer this is getting absurd how much she is soliciting help?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – Most employers I’ve worked with have specifically said this isn’t allowed for reasons like this.” ~ Marie0492
“Exactly. Even the school fundraisers are inappropriate in my opinion, due to the social pressure of feeling that you hav e to say yes.”
“I think any and all external fundraisers should be kept out of the office, since charitable giving is a personal choice.”
“Thankfully, the company stopped this practice.” ~ Electrical-Date-3951
“I get some people from my office that buy stuff from my kids fundraisers, but they always come to me about it.”
“I’ve got one coworker who just bought almost $300 worth of stuff from me for a MacMillans fundraiser.”
“She asked me in September to let her know when it came out.”
“Another has asked me to let her know when the Poinsetta fundraiser comes around.”
“Sometimes people will ask if I have any chocolate bars/chocolate almonds or Mint Smoothies because they need some chocolate.”
“I would never go around asking my coworkers though.”
“That has just always seemed incredibly gauche to me.”
“I barely even buy stuff from the fundraisers, most of it is overpriced crap.”
“I just send a cheque.”
“Except when it’s Mint Smoothies, then I buy all thr things lol.” ~ Fairykinn
“The girl thinks that everyone else is supposed to support her lifestyle.”
“She’s one of those that think that everyone should pitch in on every little expense she has.”
“If she had to move, she DID NOT have to buy a more expensive place.”
“She could have rented and saved her money until housing prices came down.”
“She just doesn’t want to pay for her own stuff.”
“This is getting quite common with the younger generations who think, why shouldn’t I ask for money if I WANT it?”
“Either learn to live within your means or move, but don’t expect your coworkers and friends to support you and the lifestyle you choose to live. NTA.” ~ babcock27
“NTA… but I would start saying no to her first. If she makes a bigger issue, then go to superiors.”
“You gotta say no to people.”
“The more you do it, the easier it gets.”
“As far as posting something in the chat, you could respond like “I don’t think it’s appropriate to post this non-work related post on a work related platform.”
“I also don’t feel comfortable asking for money on your behalf.”
“Best of luck to you but I don’t want to be in the middle of it.”
“Say it over text if you need, don’t say sorry though. If she responds trying to pressure you, don’t reply.”
“If it escalates, go to your superior.” ~ kkhjack
“A few years ago at my old job there was a couple trying to win a vacation through a radio station contest and they somehow were allowed to promote this at work.”
“I think people had to call the station for them or vote or some damn thing.”
“I remember the male half of the couple was normally pretty rude and standoffish with me and many others except during the contest, when he suddenly became super charming.”
“Up yours Ryan; you didn’t fool anyone.” ~ ThroatSecretary
“NTA. In the future, there are lots of ways to decline without saying ‘no.'”
“You can always say,'”I’ll need to check the company policy on X. I rely on this job to make ends meet and as much as I would like to help you, it’s best for you to have Human Resources take care of this personal matter for you.'”
“Alternatively, you can say, ‘I’d be happy to accompany you to HR to discuss this matter as I’m sure they are more experienced in handling things like this and know all the ins and outs of this'” ~ zyris1
“NTA. I know it is already sorted but this is actually something you should see your manager about.”
“Your coworker is out of line.”
“I am surprised to see all the hate on children/local fundraisers though.”
“I love the chocolates and raffle tickets.”
“My work is very reasonable though: there is usually an email sent out notifying staff about said chocolates/raffles and they are left in the break room or you go see the staff member. “
“There is no pressure and if you don’t want to participate, you just don’t.”
“I can see it would be annoying if staff were allowed to hound people but that is actually the fault of management for allowing it.” ~ Cherry_clafoutis
“NTA. I know how easily things like that can get out of control.”
“I used to work at my State Legislature as an assistant.”
“We got lots of vacation time, and we were able to donate vacation hours to others if there was a need.”
“Unfortunately they hired a ‘vacation vampire’ who was always late, taking unannounced time off, and constantly begging for donations of vacation hours.”
“Eventually she got fired for it.” ~ thetarantulaqueen
“Way too many people use GoFundMe for basically a cash grab, or things that really aren’t that urgent.”
“If she set it up using a work computer I’m honestly surprised it got past IT.”
“A lot of companies’ firewalls etc are so strict you can’t even email yourself from your home computer cuz it won’t go through.”
“Nevermind that outside of extreme circumstances, sending a GoFundMe around work is very inappropriate. NTA.” ~ Weird-Roll6265
“Keep working on learning how to say no.”
“This person is abusing her relationships at work, but I was starting to feel a little unsympathetic toward you for not being able to say ‘no.'”
“I promise I’m writing this to support you.”
“There are lots of potential reasons why ‘no’ is hard for you, so I’m sympathetic to that struggle.”
“But it is SO important to be able to manage your boundaries for yourself and not simply accept being completely helpless about it.”
“The fact that it’s hard for you just means you have to work at building up your strength in that area.”
“I’m so glad this has given you a starting point to work on that!” ~ swillshop
OP came back with some deets…
“ETA…”
“DODGED A BULLET BUT DEFINITELY A LEARNING EXPERIENCE!!”
“So I just had a different coworker come in my office.”
“So where me and the girl asking me to post this was left was maybe after the holidays it’s tight for everyone.”
“So I guess she went and asked this other coworker to post it since I said not until later and she thought more people would donate if she asked than I.”
“That woman went to our office manager and got it shut down.”
“Now an office memo went out saying only school/non-profit fundraising allowed and only in extreme cases of serious illness or disaster the office may decide to do a collection.”
“But it is up to the company; an individual can not promote raising funds for self.”
“MY EMPLOYER CALLED ME INTO THE OFFICE AND ALSO WORKED WITH ME ON PRACTICING TO SAY NO POLITELY I THE FUTURE!!”
Well OP, you have it all solved.
But Reddit was with you no matter what.
Hopefully the office environment is still cordial.