We all have our pet peeves. For many of us, other people eating off of our plates is chief among them.
One 21-year-old Redditor had enough of his stepmom eating his food, but his simple solution—ponying up to buy her a dish of her own—sparked drama instead of thanks.
So he turned to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for some perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the name throwaway871food on the platform, asked his fellow Redditors:
“AITA for buying my stepmom (50) a burger of her own because she keeps picking food off of me and my sibling’s plates?”
“My stepmom is a nutritionist. She’s always about eating the right foods, meal prep, fresh groceries, etc…
“Occasionally, my dad (52), my siblings (21 Female, 20 Male, and 23 Male), and I like to get some junk food (we call these ‘junk-ups’) on the weekend.”
“Now the problem: since forever, my stepmom has 1) told us that we’re going to die because we’re eating fatty foods (I promise, we only eat junk food on the weekends, or on special occasions, the last time I had anything unhealthy was my sister’s birthday a few weeks ago) and 2) come in while we’re eating with a plate for herself and picks the foods she wants from each of our plates.”
“Whenever me or one of my siblings questioned this she would tell us ‘you’re being disrespectful,’ ‘shut up, I can eat what I want,’ or ‘it would be a waste of time to buy me one because I don’t want one’.”
“I want to make it clear that she does not buy any of the food for our junk-ups. Either I buy for everyone or one of my siblings do.”
“Just yesterday, we decided to get burgers. This time, I bought food and one of my siblings said ‘You know what? Get mom one too because you know she’ll just pick off of our plates anyways’.”
“And my dad grumbled something about her not liking that but I didn’t care. I figured she would come around to us buying her a burger too, perhaps she felt excluded which was definitely not our intention.”
“When we got home and set our plates to eat, in came my step mom with her own plate and before she could start picking, I put the wrapped burger on her plate and said ‘Here you go. That one’s all yours. No need to pick at our plates now’.”
“She was infuriated with me and screamed at my dad to do something about me and went on and on about how I was being disrespectful towards her and that I needed to learn to share and that I’m too old to be selfish.”
“I just sat there, unwrapped my burger, and ate. My siblings later told me that maybe we shouldn’t have done that because now my stepmom has been stewing about it for some time now.”
OP came back to add some additional information.
“I went to do my laundry and nap and when I came back, I saw that my post blew up! Thank you for your advice!”
“To clarify some points made in the comments: With burgers or something that you can’t easily take a piece of, my stepmom would come in with a knife and fork and cut into it to get herself a slice.”
“Also I don’t know if she has any mental illnesses. I’ve never asked.”
“I think once she calms down we can talk. When we talk, I will update everyone! Thanks again!”
OP’s fellow Redditors were then asked to judge who’s in the wrong using the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And for them, the question couldn’t have been easier to answer.
“She’s only pissed because she can pretend she’s healthier than she is if she doesn’t actually have her own burger.” —teresajs
“…to me it seems like as a nutritionist ‘being healthy’ is likely a large part of how she defines her self-image and determines her self-worth.”
“She ‘can eat whatever she wants’ because she’s above wanting to eat anything unhealthy. By eating off of everyone else’s plates (which is it’s own terrible rude behavior), she’s proven that this isn’t true but she doesn’t want to let go of the sense of superiority she gets from being The Healthy One.” —profhjpotter
“Someone needs to tell her that the joke about other people’s calories not counting if you eat them is just that, a joke.” —ChestertheCarer
“She is also a delusional nutritionist. The RD who taught my intro to nutrition class in college made it very clear that poptarts, ice cream, french fries, burgers, etc… have their place in a healthy diet.”
“It’s ok to have an occasional treat or to use discretionary calories for something with high caloric & low nutritional value.” —urajerknotajoker
“I would guess that she has some kind of eating disorder. She is obsessed with eating a certain way, and as long as the ‘junk’ isn’t on her plate, it magically doesn’t count, even though she is probably eating more of the junk by picking than she would if she just ate her own burger.”
“She seriously needs to see a doctor because her reaction to them buying her a burger was not in any way normal.” —SparkyLaRue
“…How on earth is it ‘selfish’ and not knowing how to share to buy her her own entire item? That’s extra generous? NTA.” —TheCatOnTheHat
“Obviously calories don’t count when they come from someone else’s plate. I thought everyone knew that.” —msord
“…It is disrespectful to pick food off of someone’s plate.”
“How is it disrespectful to buy someone their own food? This woman has serious issues.” —Green-eyes816
“I’d actually have money in it being a power play, and she’s pissed that OP just exposed how little power she actually has.”
“There’s a reason she went straight for ‘disrespectful’ as soon as challenged or having her power otherwise stripped (by giving her her own burger)…” —BearMountainKen
“As I’m reading this she reminds me of a spoiled child. She needs to grow up and it would help if your dad stops being afraid of her and enabling her. NTA” —Tapioca44
Hopefully this guy’s stepmom can learn to just chill out and enjoy her own burger.
Life’s too short!