Don’t drink and drive.
That is a MAJOR life lesson people still struggle with.
The aftermath has long-reaching effects.
Some of those effects are hospital stays.
And those stays can be stressful.
Redditor Decent-Delivery-3603 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not stopping my teenage son’s G[irl]F[riend] from kissing him?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (50) son (17) recently got into a car accident with a drunk driver.”
“I am very thankful that he is alive, obviously, but his car is totaled (the drunk driver was driving a pickup, and my son drives a small old convertible, most likely the reason for the amount of damage) and he is fairly injured, ie multiple breaks, lots of stitches, etc, and is currently recovering.”
“This all occurred last week on Saturday, the night of the accident.”
“My family (my wife, 45, and daughter,14) got there, I want to say, an hour before his girlfriend?”
“When she came in, she ran to him in his hospital bed and started hugging and kissing him (mainly on the lips but other places on his face too).”
“She stayed for most of the night, checking up on him and being supportive, and I was happy that my son and his GF had such a good relationship.”
“As we were driving home that night my wife said she was upset I didn’t say anything to my son’s GF.”
“I asked why I would have as she was being a good partner.”
“My wife said that it felt weird seeing that, especially in front of his family.”
“I said that he was going off to college regardless and that she was being a really nice partner, and that night showed us how much she truly cared for him.”
“She rushed off of work to get there and was still wearing her work clothes as she got there.”
“My wife started getting angrier and said that she thought it was gross and that I should just ask her to leave sometime.”
“I told her that I’m, not telling my hospitalized son that I’m taking away someone that clearly makes him happy.”
“She told me it was gross and that I needed to put a stop to it.”
“I told her she was worrying about the wrong thing and that anything that brought our son comfort was good (my brother had taken my daughter home before this, she didn’t hear us arguing). “
“She told me I needed to step up and do my job and I’ve kept thinking about it, and I have started to keep thinking about it and thinking that I am in the wrong.
The OP was left to wonder:
“So, AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Your wife needs to accept that your son is growing up.”
“A 5-year-old says kissing is gross, not a 45-year-old with multiple children.”
“What kind of argument is that?”
“Besides, kissing is not inappropriate at 17 years old, and she was relieved to see him after a scary accident.”
“It’s not like they spend their free time making out in front of you.” ~ JustheBean
“Yeah, OP’s wife is clinging to the hope that her son is still her baby boy.”
“She needs to get over it and realize he’s almost an adult. NTA.” ~ DrBlankslate
“NTA. She doesn’t want him to grow up but can’t admit this is how she feels.”
“So, she is acting like a three-year-old.”
“Moms doing this with their sons has got to stop.”
“It inevitably ruins their mother/son relationship and can ruin his relationship with his S[ignificant] O[ther].”
“I have a M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] who tried to do that to us.”
“Thankfully my husband did not stand for it, and she stepped back.”
“He is a wonderful son, but he drew the line there.” ~ SheeScan
“Agreed. NTA.”
“These women have raised sons with absolutely no regard for women or other people really, no abilities to cook or clean for themselves, and no accountability for themselves.”
“Luckily, some of them turn out great still, like your husband seems to have.”
“I have a son, almost 9, and these women are my motivation for what not to be as he gets older.”
“I grew up in a boy mom household, like literally me and my brother would agree, but if I said anything, I was called crazy or emotional or PMSing.”
“He could say the same thing, and it’d be ‘Oh baby, I’m so sorry…’ etc.”
“My brother, lucky for me, also saw this and knows it’s not okay.” ~ slipperyCactuses
“I’m sorry for saying this, but someone needs to.”
“Your wife is acting like she’s jealous.”
“She needs a reality check.”
“Your son has his own life, and he is not her little baby anymore.”
“He is about to go to college.”
“He is basically grown.”
“The only reason to have an issue with it is if the son has an issue with it.”
“It’s his body, not your wife’s. “
“If he had an issue with it, then he would have said so.”
“Is this more about her being upset that he is hurt but doesn’t need her as much anymore or because she knows he is about to leave and go to college?”
“Either way, she sounds jealous, and that’s not healthy for her or your son or for your relationship with her or for her relationship with the son.”
“Tell her to go to therapy.” ~ Kitty-CatThulhu
“NTA. Your wife is one of those women who want to chase off women from their sons.”
“Keep her away from his relationships.” ~ Toyletduck
“THIS! God, those moms are the worst!!”
“I’ve been SO close with every other ex’s mom, but I’m currently dating a guy with a boy mom who is jealous and literally calls me the devil woman.”
“She is so jealous of the time he spends with me.”
“This has been very sad for me, I don’t have a mom so I have always dreamt of having a mother-in-law.”
“I was so excited and pushing him to have her around more than he wanted until she called me lazy for sleeping during the day when I was sick instead of cleaning up after him.”
“(He’s 45 and I’m 36).”
“Since then it’s only gotten worse.”
“She just wants him all to herself. “
“The result is she gets less of her son, his choice.” ~ PotentialLow6772
“NTA, your wife feeling uncomfortable CAN be valid.”
“I’m sure there’s a level of feelings seeing one’s kid grow up, but demanding you do anything about it is crossing the line.”
“If she has an issue with public affection, that’s her issue, not anyone else’s.” ~ devsfan1830
“100% this.”
“I’m sure any weird feelings your wife has about your kid almost being an adult are extremely amplified by the circumstances.”
“But these are feelings for her to work through in private or with a therapist, not take out on… her severely injured son and his caring girlfriend.”
“Absolutely NTA.” ~ icouldliveinhope
“Definitely NTA.”
“Your wife, on the other hand, is acting weird.”
“Don’t let her ruin your son’s relationship with his girlfriend.”
“You’re probably a pretty good dad!”
“Hope your son will be better soon!” ~ gipsysandokan
“NTA. Your wife will cause your son to seriously resent both of you as he is recovering from a serious injury right before he’s about to be an adult.”
“Pretty soon, he doesn’t have to visit either of you if he doesn’t want to, and trying to stop him from having a relationship won’t work.”
“He’ll just hide it from you and build resentment.” ~ RealWanderingWizard
“NTA. Your wife seems overbearing.”
“It’s normal at that age to kiss, and if she felt uncomfortable, she could have politely asked your son’s girlfriend not to do it in front of her.”
“Instead, she ran to you so you can bring it up to your son.”
“This will do two things for her: 1) she gets an ally for her overbearing ways, and 2) you become the scapegoat if your son pushes back.”
“I am willing to bet my last dollar that she’s going to be a monster-in-law.” ~ paint-me-mie
“DEFINITELY NTA.”
“If your son had objected, that’d be one thing because consent matters.”
“Good for you for not making your wife’s hangups your son’s problem.”
“She clearly has some issue going on.”
“The real question I’d be asking in your place is, ‘My job is to teach my son to be an adult and how to have a good, loving, consensual relationship. Everything I saw shows that. What job, exactly, did I not do here?'”
“You sound genuinely concerned for your son’s well-being.”
“Your wife sounds like she’s concerned with not seeing her son as the subject of non-familial affection.” ~ esmerelofchaos
“When I read the title, I expected a story about how the GF made your son visibly uncomfortable, and you didn’t step in… because that would be the only reason for you to say anything to her.”
“Your wife is being completely not-normal about this. NTA.” ~ Mother_of_Cats_041
“NTA. If your wife is uncomfortable seeing your almost adult son being kissed, she should just go ahead and uninvite herself from his eventual wedding right now; because there’s gonna be a whole lot more family there than what was in his hospital room.” ~ hayy-there-eliza23
“No, NTA, you’re levelheaded here.”
“I get that maybe your wife is uncomfortable, but she’s not explaining what her real issue is, and that’s what needs to be discussed.”
“Just saying it’s ‘gross’ and you need to do some kind of job here is not enough.”
“She may be having a hard time with your son’s accident, him getting older, leaving the house soon, and becoming independent, but you need to find out what’s really behind this to resolve the issue.” ~ ActuaryMean6433
Reddit is on your side, OP.
Your wife is having a strange reaction to affection.
The GF sounds lovely.
Everyone is so happy he is ok.
Hopefully, your wife will come around.