We’ve all known a spoiled rich person or two in our lives. But is someone really spoiled if their overbearing parents are forcing privileges onto them?
That’s the quandary a person on Reddit found theirself in when their “helicopter parents” tried to force them into living in an apartment they bought for them.
They weren’t sure about how they were handling things, so they went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by pinkypromise573 on the site, asked:
“AITA for not appreciating that my parents bought me a house?”
“Ok, so to be clear, I am most definitely TA. What I want to know is if my parents are also TA.”
“My parents are what some might consider ‘helicopter parents’. I’ve never really had much freedom to do much. I have a strict bedtime and I have a 2 hour limit to hang out with friends. I turn 18 in 6 months so I was really looking forward to being able to leave.”
“That’s when I found out my parents bought me an apartment and would be my landlords. Sounds really great out of context right? Sounds pretty good in context too I guess.”
“However, I can’t help but feel like this is just another way to control my life. I’ve told them on multiple occasions that I don’t even know if I want to stay in our current city but they insist that since I have no solid plans, I’ll probably stay.”
“My parents also love to hold things over my head. They currently pay for my car insurance which is honestly really great of them but they always use that against me. Not that this really matters in this story, but my mum is anti-vaxx so she makes me take all these vitamins and health store plant-based supplements instead of vaccines.”
“These are taken in tablet form and I despise swallowing tablets because I always feel like I’m going to throw them back up. One day I refused to take the tablets and made a really big deal out of it. (Like really spoiled brat sorta thing) My mum then told me that if I didn’t take the tablets, she wouldn’t pay for my insurance.”
“That’s pretty reasonable to be fair. However, I can’t help but wonder if this apartment is just as conditional as the car insurance. What if my parents take that away and I’m forced to move back in with them because I didn’t have a plan on where else to go?”
“I currently work two jobs but I definitely don’t have enough money to buy a place on my own so I feel like I’m really being forced into accepting this apartment. If I refuse the apartment I’m acting like a spoiled child.”
“So basically I told my parents that I didn’t want the apartment and now she’s mad at me. We had a brief argument on how spoiled I am and as of rn, we aren’t really talking.”
“So yeah, I’m TA. I just gotta know if any of how i’m feeling is right.”
“(ps, being a part of a rich family can sometimes be embarrassing. I feel like it’s kinda sucky that I just have this ticket through life just because I got adopted by a rich family. My mum loves holding this over my head as well. Maybe this makes me TA, but I hate how my mum acts like a saint because she adopted a child who otherwise wouldn’t have had such a great life.)”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge the actions of everyone in this scenario based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And most of them disagreed with OP’s assessment. All things considered they didn’t think OP was the a**hole at all.
“NTA Dude you couldnt be more wrong. You are in no way the a**hole in this situation. You’re an adult, or at least legally will be very soon, and you are under absolutely no obligation whatsoever to accept this offer.”
“If it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it. Your parents seem super manipulative. The fact that you think rejecting this offer automatically makes you such an a**hole is kind of sad and it pretty revealing of just how manipjulative your parents have been” –AsidK
“100% NTA in any of this! How can you appreciate something that has all those strings attached? And this is another way for them to control you. You’re almost 18, you don’t need to buy a house! Just rent. You’re parents are not good people even though they ‘have done all these things for you’.” –FelizNadiaL
“Yikes. You’re NTA, they are. They force stuff on you that you have to accept, and then call you spoiled when you don’t want it. They’re the ones who spoil you, and with it, control your life.” –holy_roman_emperor
“NTA. Your parents are financially abusive, using their money to control your life excessively. If you don’t want their apartment you are fully allowed to reject it (but obviously you may have to pay for housing yourself instead), it’s entirely up to you.” –Shana-Light
“NTA, I don’t get why you think you are. Once you’re 18, you can do your own thing and make a decision then on what to do.” –Alexoid182
“You’re definitely materially privileged, but you recognise that privilege, and just because you were adopted by a rich family doesn’t make you an AH.”
“I say materially privileged but you’re not privileged in the way your parents are treating you. And also – it seems like the $$ are conditional from the vitamin situation which is uncool.”
“You’ll be 18 and you can totally turn down this offer if you think your mental health and ongoing living situation would be better for it. Also – can you rent elsewhere instead of being focussed on buying your own place?”
“You’re not the AH at all in this situation. They’re definitely going to use it as a way of controlling you, just like everything else they use. Just because they adopted you doesn’t mean they own you. Also that was their choice, sure you got lucky finding a family, but you don’t owe them (it feels like that’s what they’re saying) anything for that choice.”
“That apartment is gonna come with a lot of stipulations.” –vampibear
Hopefully OP can find a way to stand on their own two feet like they want to.