Reddito Only_Till8916 is a family man who planned a camping trip for his wife and their daughter.
Unfortunately, his wife was backed out due to physical discomfort, and the trip became a father and daughter bonding trip.
That was all well and good until circumstances led to the disappointing planning of a second trip.
After the wife and husband faced off, he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) and asked:
“AITA For Calling my wife an a**hole?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained why he disparaged his wife:
“So a couple of months ago, my daughter and I went on a daddy, daughter camping trip. My wife was supposed to come but she had her period so she didn’t come.”
“We had a great time and when we came back my wife was disappointed that she missed out. She insisted on going camping so we booked for the same place for today.”
“We timed it so that she wasn’t in hey period. Well as we’re all getting ready to leave, my wife decides that she doesn’t want to come anymore.”
“I get super upset and said that this whole trip was planned because she wanted to, I spent the last couple of days getting supplies ready and everything and she says that she doesn’t want to go because she is on a roll with cleaning and organizing the house.”
“This is a trip I’ve been looking forward on going with as a whole family.”
“So I call her an a**hole for cancelling last minute and not letting me know earlier that she had no intention of going the past few days. She says that I’m am a**hole for not being understanding of what she wants to do.”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole for calling his wife an a**hole based on what she did.
“NTA, but your wife is sure being one! Getting ready for a camping trip that she demanded you take is no small amount of preparation; to back out at the last minute for no legitimate reason is really sh**ty of her.”
“It’s also pretty suspicious; is there another reason she wants you and the kid out of the house? If I were you, I’d go with your daughter and have a fantastic time. But this sucks, I’m sorry.” – trashpanda44224422
“NTA but I’m suspicious about what is making your wife cancel her participation in trips that take you and the kids away from home all weekend.” – IridescentTardigrade
“I’d also come home early to make sure there wasn’t a mysterious car/truck in the driveway. Yeah, I’ve been reading way too many of these. NTA.” – Maleficent_Ad_3958
“Kinda sounds more like jealousy mixed with something else to me. The idea of going camping and having the time of your life sounds fun on paper but when faced with it in reality she balked.”
“As someone with depression and anxiety I can sympathise to suddenly wanting to bail last minute, but I usually end up forcing myself anyway and then having fun.” – averkf
“That she waited until the car was packed and then announced she wasn’t going suggests she’s planned it all along. I have depression and anxiety as well and understand wanting to bail, but never in my life have I suggested a trip, allowed all the preparations to happen, and then announced I wasn’t coming while the engine was running. What about the poor kid?!” – IridescentTardigrade
“I mean I agree that it’s selfish and manipulative behaviour, I just think the answer is far more mundane than cheating. She sees the bags in the car and she’s like ‘ah f’k it’s actually happening’ and makes an impulsive decision to say no.”
“It’s absolutely sh**ty behaviour to subject your spouse and daughter to, but it sounds like the simplest explanation. Especially if she tends to be quite an impulsive person in general – and making them book another trip as soon as they got back the first time sounds quite impulsive to me.”
“Edit: Thinking about it, it actually feels like an utterly amateurish way to cheat as well. You plan to go with someone and then back out last second, upsetting your spouse and child and directing all attention on yourself. Husband is gonna be pissed and asking questions about this for weeks afterwards.”
“If you wanted to cheat surely you’d want as little attention on you as possible? Sure, it’s far from outside the realms of possibility – she might be dumb and cheating badly, plenty of people do. But it’s another thing that makes it slide to ‘not suspicious, wife is just an AH’ for me.” – averkf
“NTA You have every right to be upset.”
‘She says that I’m am asshole for not being understanding of what she wants to do.’
“The extra trip literally was for her because she was bummed about missing the last trip. Something deeper may be going on here.” – theshadowppl9
“Yeah, all the comments on the top post seem to think wife is cheating on him and this is an elaborate ruse to have the house with her affair partner. Like she planned this a month ago and the best excuse she could come up with was ‘umm I want to clean.’?”
“I wonder if maybe she has a lot of the housework/childcare responsibility and she just needs a weekend off? Hubby seems to think it was a big effort to get things organised for the camping trip.”
“I go camping regularly, and it’s not any harder than doing the grocery shopping and packing some gear. I would rather plan a camping trip than get kids ready for school.”
“Or maybe she is just anxious about camping and likes the idea of it, and then anxiety gets the better of her before the trip?”
“There’s definitely more going on. Camping is way better than cleaning. But hubby needs to talk to her about it, not reddit.” – LozRock
“NTA- your wife is being selfish. The house will be there when she gets home, family time with your daughter is precious.”
“But I’m curious, is there another reason she’s backing out, that she maybe doesn’t want you to know? Seems suspicious that she’d back out twice for not great reasons.” – MuppetJonBonJovi
“NTA, you made a trip for her to enjoy with the family and she backed out last minute, that’s 100% a her problem.”
“As for you calling her an a**hole, meh, my wife has called me worse for telling her a bad dad joke. Idk why someone would get upset with that benign insult.” – Historical-Corgi3021
“NTA.”
“Yeah. Yeah, she cancelled last minute. She’s TA. I’m surprised she wasn’t able to go the first time just cause of her period, but to each their own. The issue is that you went out of your way to organize this for her and then she backed off. If she were to ask again, just don’t plan another trip, if anything let her do it.” – macithemahsee
“NTA- You were reasonably frustrated. Though, there is no way I’d go camping on my period. My flow is super heavy the first few days. It is miserable and gross.”
“Her cleaning thing reminds me a lot of ADHD. When you get into a groove of something you have been dreading or putting off, you really want to stick with it. Also, the slightly self-absorbed semming nature of her response reminds me of ADHD. That being said, she should have stopped and gone camping.” – ClockAlarming6732
“NTA because I get why you were upset. I don’t think you should have called her a name because that’s usually not healthy for a marriage. But, still I get why you were annoyed.”
“Aside from that, I’m going to offer a suggestion for why she said she didn’t want to go because she was on a roll cleaning and organizing the house. I immediately understood that reason.”
“I don’t know why, but I do this too. Once I am in the ‘zone’ for any activity, I am almost obsessed and I don’t want to stop until it’s finished. I especially do this when organizing the house.”
“It starts with one small closet to look for something and before I know it, it’s a full blown project for every room in the house. I am in my element then and nothing short of an emergency will stop me. It could be your wife is like this, too.”
“She could also be similar to me in that she likes the ‘concept’ of doing something, like a camping trip, and enjoys planning it, anticipating it, etc. But then when it comes time to actually execute the activity, she realizes she just wants to stay home in her cozy familiar home.”
“She also might just like having the house to herself every so often.”
“All three of those reasons are me to a T, so I might just be projecting and this doesn’t describe your wife at all, but the details you provided for why she declined both trips really makes me think she is like this, too.” – Bleu_Rue
After the enormous amount of responses prevented him from responding, he updated the thread to address a common suspicion.
“For those of you who say she’s cheating or something, honestly not something I can control. From reading this sub a lot, cheaters gonna cheat… Oh well.”
“I’m typing this up as my daughter and I are just waking up in the tent. We’re going to enjoy Daddy/Daughter Camping Trip 2.0 and let mom do whatever she wants.”
“Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and respond to my venting post. Time to enjoy nature!”
Hopefully, infidelity was not the reason for her to back out on her husband and daughter, and eventually, another family event in the future will make up for it.