As much as we would like to imagine couples as picture-perfect, they don’t necessarily agree about everything.
Unfortunately, that can lead to some serious obstacles, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor moonriver_1008 was furious when her husband not only hated her Jeep but tried to corner her into selling it.
When he made a purchase completely without her consent, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure what to do next.
She asked the sub:
“AITA if I don’t want to pay back my husband for buying ‘me’ a car that I didn’t even want?”
The OP had a Jeep from a previous relationship.
“My ex-boyfriend bought me a 2019 Jeep Cherokee (35000 miles) and my husband hates the car.”
“My ex-boyfriend got it for me while my then-baby-daddy (now husband) and I were separated. We reconciled and got married two weeks ago.”
“My ex-boyfriend refused to take the car back after I offered.”
The OP’s husband was adamant about replacing the car.
“My husband wants me to trade this Jeep for a 2012 BMW X5 (127000 miles), because he test drove it, and it’s faster than my jeep, and apparently it’s safer for me and our baby.”
“I said NO. NO. NO. 30k miles for 127k miles?!? Not to mention the costs of repairs.”
The OP fought to make her choice.
“He went ahead and bought the BMW and is waiting for me to sell my car so I can pay him back.”
“The BMW already has issues. Bluetooth doesn’t work, and none of the electronic ports work.”
“Also, he drives the BMW to work. I’ve never even sat in the driver’s seat.”
“I still have my Jeep. I refuse to cash out my Jeep for a car I didn’t want to buy in the first place.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said it sounded like the husband was more worried about having a new car himself.
“That’s having his cake and driving it too.” – Warm_Kaleidoscope973
“I mean, he sounds like a BMW driver already, so it’s actually pretty appropriate.” – nachtkaese
“The two cars aren’t even vaguely similar.”
“It seems to me he wanted a BMW, and he wanted you to give up your car to pay for it.”
“This is not a decision for him to make unilaterally, trading in your (very good) car for one he wants for himself.”
“An ex-boyfriend bought you the 2019 car, and you’re already married to this new fellow? This sounds like a bit of a ‘married in haste’ situation. Think carefully about what the future will be like tied to someone who makes such a ridiculously foolish financial decision and expects you to pay for the mess.” – Jazzlike_Humor3340
“NTA, This was a non-consensual and controlling act, do not be forced to pay him or trade!”
“I run one of the biggest international Jeep Cherokee forums. Your vehicle is incredibly safe and is using the newest crash and safety technology and materials. The Cherokee is very luxurious inside and has more modern technology than this 7-year-old SUV.”
“Don’t trade down into a worn-out SUV just so he can have that BMW badge. Family cars do not need to be ‘faster.'” – Escape_Overlander
“His next move is going to sell the car himself, ‘because you were taking so long, what with the baby and everything.'”
“Make it perfectly clear that if that car goes, so do you, right along to the police station with a report of theft.” – Wolfy5079
Others agreed and said the OP’s wishes had been clear.
“I don’t see how ‘NO. NO. NO.’ is a ‘gray area’? You said you wouldn’t sell your car. Don’t. He now owns an old BMW with problems and can deal with it. NTA.” – TangerineBouquet
“NTA, I’m assuming he just hates your current car because your ex bought it for you.”
“Either way, you specifically said no to something and he did it anyway, so you’re not in any way financially responsible for the stupid decision that he made explicitly against your wishes.” – halseydota
“Jeeps are notoriously bad in rollover situations so he’s right that there are safer options, but he’s out of line thinking that he can unilaterally make this decision for her.” – TexTheBrit
“No means no. I would not trade in a car to drive one that is 7 years older, has 90K more miles, is more expensive to repair, and doesn’t have AWD.”
“This was a dumb purchase and is definitely NOT a better choice or safer by any means. Tell him to resell it. NTA.” – winesis
Some were more concerned about the choice of husband than the choice of car.
“Your issue isn’t the car. He’s disrespectful and very controlling. Wow. How is this even close to being ok. NTA.” – jlc_1027
“1. Jealous of the ex so buys replacements!
“2. Disrespectful and Controlling”
“3. Concerned with appearing well-off to the point of making poor financial decisions”
“1, 2, or 3 all are crap.” – MissPricklyUnicorn
“These vehicles are a metaphor for your relationship. Your current husband is a 2012 BMW with 127,000 miles on him.” – joshul
“Sorry about your man-trade being a dud. Don’t do the same with your car.” – slendermanismydad
“NTA. Your husband’s jealousy over your ex is clouding his judgment. Tell him to sell the BMW, and work on his jealousy issues.” – HalloweenLvr
“If he wants to be all ‘My woman is driving a car I bought for her,’ at least he should put his money where his mouth is and buy her a car – even if it’s his own choosing – with his own money, instead of insisting she pay for her own ‘gift’. As if. He is tacky as h**l.” – crazyhellga
Though some openly questioned the relationship the OP now found herself in, the subReddit could fully agree that what the husband had done was wrong.
Not only should couples openly discuss any big or major purchase, but if one member of that couple explicitly says they don’t want something, ignoring that is not a good look.