It’s a great feeling when your significant other decides to dress a little seductively for you, and the feeling is reciprocated when you express your appreciation. However, that may be.
But let’s be honest; manufacturers of said sexy wear, for some ungodly reason, often choose to use the scratchiest of materials and make it a point to ensure that fabric rides to the most uncomfortable destinations.
Needless to say, it’s not enjoyable for many to wear daily despite the desirable effects of doing so.
A woman on Reddit “annoyed” her boyfriend by buying him thongs to prove to him how uncomfortable they are after he expressed disappointment when she didn’t wear them, so she turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor BluejayPlane9468 asked:
“AITAH for buying my boyfriend a thong?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“(F[emale]/26). My boyfriend’s (M[ale]/26) biggest turn-on is when I wear a thong.”
“He gets very excited when I wear them, says how good I look, cups my butt when we lie next to each other while playing with the material.”
“I generally don’t have a problem with it, and I like the compliments he dishes out.”
But she could definitely do without them.
“However, I admittedly do find thongs uncomfortable and would prefer to wear full-cut briefs.”
“When we had sex the other day, he seemed disappointed that I wasn’t wearing a thong, and I said I wouldn’t wear one every time.”
“He seemed to accept this but when we were lying next to each other that night, he said how good I looked in one (again).”
OP had an idea.
“I went online and decided to buy a male thong for him so he could try one on and feel the discomfort.”
“When he came home from work, I texted that I had a surprise for him.”
“He was obviously excited, and when he got home, I gave him the thong, which I’d wrapped up in gift paper.”
It was certainly not what he had in mind.
“When he opened it, his face dropped.”
“He asked why I’d bought him this, and I just explained that maybe he should experience wearing a thong everyday so he knows what it’s like.”
“He immediately got cold and said he hadn’t pushed me to wear one, just expressed a preference, and I was trying to make him feel humiliated about the turn-ons he has.”
And things haven’t quite blown over.
“I tried to talk to him, but he’s clearly still annoyed.”
“I spoke to two friends; one found it hilarious, while the other thought it was unnecessary, especially because it’s not exactly a ‘weird fetish.'”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in, some by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Reactions were all over the board.
Several felt the situation could be resolved with a simple heart-to-heart.
“This is a communication problem.”
“He is feeling shamed by her. She is feeling unheard by him.”
“Time for lots of I statements.”
“Him: ‘I feel like you’re mocking a thing that turns me on. I thought I was complimenting you and initiating play.'”
“You: ‘I like turning you on. But I find wearing a thong uncomfortable, and I’ve felt unheard when I’ve mentioned it. I thought that if you tried wearing one, you could empathize with my discomfort.'”
“Notice the lack of ‘you aren’t listening.'”
“You can also state what your partner says before going to your I statements. ‘I’m hearing you say that you feel shamed. That’s not my intention.'”
“Then validate his feelings (if you feel that way). ‘I enjoy wearing a thong for you. I like the attention it brings out in you.'”
“(Again, don’t placate by saying things you don’t feel). ‘But I find them too uncomfortable to wear often.'” – ThunkAsDrinklePeep
“I had a husband who loved seeing me in stocking and a garter belt.”
“I told him if he took me someplace nice where I had to dress up, I would wear that.”
“Worked out well for both of us” – 54radioactive
“NTA, but neither is he.”
“While funny, I think you could have found a better way to have a serious conversation about this seemingly not huge issue.”
“I also think he could have taken the gift for what you probably intended it to be, a conversation starter about it being uncomfortable for you when he mentions you wearing a thong all the time.” – justadude04765
Many believed OP’s handled her frustration immaturely.
“I guess I just don’t understand the point of doing this.”
“It doesn’t seem like from what you wrote that he’s relentlessly nagging you about wearing a thong.”
“It’s just something he likes.”
“And again, from what you wrote, it doesn’t seem like you even told him how uncomfortable you find them, just that you wouldn’t wear them all the time, which he accepted! I know this probably seems like a small thing, but people are weird about preferences like this.”
“Now he’s going to be embarrassed about a mild and common thing.”
“The whole thing just seems really unnecessary.” – the_road_infinite
“YTA because of the underhanded way you tried to make your point: pretending to get him a gift as a “gotcha” moment.” – noonesine
“So you gave him a “gift” that was meant to teach him a lesson? YTA.”
“In the future, you should never give anyone a gift in bad faith.”
“It’s mean.” – AJokeHoleForFartz
“YTA.”
“I accept you didn’t like it, but nowhere did it show that he pushed you to wear one.”
“This tit-for-tat act is recommended a lot on Reddit, but it never works.”
“First, it rubs the wrong way and never solves the problem.”
“Second, what if it backfires? What if he agrees to wear it.”
“Would you then compromise and wear is always!!”
“If you do, you will be in misery.”
“If you don’t, you will come across as an unreliable partner who doesn’t keep her end.”
“It was an adiotic move, it would have never helped you anyhow.”
“YTA.” – fccs_drills
“If you didn’t buy it because you thought he would look sexy while wearing it, YTA.”
“Humiliation is not a healthy way to communicate.”
“I tried to talk to him, but he’s still clearly annoyed.”
“You emasculated him, and now you’re wearing a surprised Pikachu face when he shuts down and goes cold?”
“Reasonably fit women wearing thongs is seen as being universally sexy.”
“Men wearing thongs is only seen as sexy by gay dudes.”
“That little stunt crossed a few lines and no, he’s not going to get over it soon, especially without an elaborate apology.” – LousyOpinions
A few thought OP’s boyfriend overreacted a bit.
“Lol if my GF bought me a thong I would laugh my a** off and put it on.”
“What a childish thing to be offended with” – Quietser
“I would have put it on immediately!” – HeadCashier
“NTA. My husband had a similar thing for thongs.”
“I expressed how they made me uncomfortable, and he said he understood and wouldn’t ask for it unless I showed that I was in the mood to fulfill requests…”
“When ordering some Fenty lingerie, I checked out their men’s stuff and ordered him some too — including some thongs.”
“While my sole intention was not to get him to see how it feels’ it definitely was some of the thought process behind it.”
“My husband ended up loving his thongs!”
“I ordered more of them, and he wears them just as regularly as his boxers.”
“And I have to say, his butt looks FANTASTIC in those thongs!”
“As a bi woman, I always knew they looked good but hot damn, on MY husband?”
“He looks like a Calvin Klein model 😍”
“Your bf could’ve taken this as an opportunity to be a good sport, have some fun with it, give you a little model show, and if said model show ‘worked’ and turned into some sexy times, well maybe you both come out with a greater understanding for both the discomfort and appeal, of the thong. 🤣” – LittleBug088
Some, however, expressed that OP’s reaction was justified.
“If he’s constantly on your @ss about how you’re soooooooo much hotter while wearing a thong: good call, let him wear one for a while and see how he likes it.”
“If this was a one time thing: you could’ve handled it a little gentler and spoken to him about it.” – StepbroItHurts
“NTA. My husband loves when I wear thongs, but for similar reasons to you I hate them.”
“Even when we were younger (we are now in our mid-40s) he never pressured me and never complain about my old lady ‘granny panties.'”
“Though we have each made some jokes about the other’s underwear choice, it goes both ways (he has some underwear full of holes🤦♀️).”
“I told him once when we were younger that I’d wear one when he did and he told me to go buy him one.”
“He stuck with his end of the bargain and has worn it a few times, and I did reciprocate.”
“But how people wear them daily is beyond me.” – Ok_Control_1404
It sounds like this couple needs a nice long talk to iron out the wrinkles and express their frustrations with the other’s behavior.