It’s important to not take the little things in life for granted, because nothing about life is certain.
Accidents happen. Tragedy strikes.
And some people cheat while their partners travel for work, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit, and then they think they can trick their partner into helping raise the baby.
Redditor GlitteringBarber3352 was looking forward to coming home after already being away for more than seven months for work when he received an unexpected call from a friend, claiming his girlfriend back home was newly pregnant.
When she not only confessed to cheating but expected them to raise the baby together, with his parents already supporting the idea, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for going no contact with my family after they expected me to get back with my ex and help her raise her affair baby?”
The OP was spiraling from recent changes in his life.
“I am 30 (Male). I am not sure how to word this because I’m crushed and don’t know what to do.”
“I have been with my high school sweetheart, Cassie, since we were 17. My parents love her and so did I.”
“Our parents were always asking when we would get married and give them grandchildren and me and Cassie would say when we are financially stable.”
“We are both doing good in our careers. My job however required me sometimes to leave the country. I left seven months ago.”
There was unfortunate news waiting for the OP back home.
“I am due to go back this week, except a friend of mine called me to tell me that Cassie is three months pregnant. Obviously, I am not the father.”
“I didn’t believe my friend and rang up Cassie, and after pushing her, she finally broke down crying and admitted that she was pregnant and it was a drunken mistake.”
“She said she didn’t know who the father was because it was a random guy. She said she wanted to keep the baby and we could raise the baby.”
“I was in shock and ended the call.”
“I texted her and said we were done.”
“She tried to ring back but I switched my phone off. I was on autopilot for a couple of days and just worked.”
The OP was then shocked by his parents’ support, though not of him.
“Then my boss told me he had a family emergency call from my Dad on the line, so I took the call. My parents said that Cassie confessed to cheating, but it was a mistake, and the baby needs a father.”
“I saw red and told him if he was so worried about the baby, then he can step up and be there.”
“We got into a heated argument, and I ended the call and blocked him.”
“My mother, father, and ex-girlfriend have been texting on different numbers and telling me to step up, and mistakes have happened.”
“I got so frustrated that I rang them up and said that I was going no contact with them all, and I would be looking to apply for a visa to stay in the current country permanently.”
“I heard my mother and ex start crying before I hung up.”
“It’s been a week now, and I have time to think about what happened and wonder if I am the a**hole?”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some urged the OP to stay far away from his family and ex.
“NTA and DON’T LOOK BACK EVER! Your parents are fucking AH for trying to step up as the father of an affair. This is a great opportunity to make everything you want; don’t throw it away.” – CamusVerseaux
“It wasn’t drunken, it wasn’t a mistake, and it wasn’t the first time. Even if it was, stabbing someone in the heart once isn’t better than stabbing them in the heart one hundred times. Dead is dead.”
“This relationship is also dead. It’s best if the OP washes his hands of the entire situation.”
“Good thing his parents are on her side and can help with everything! So nice of them to volunteer. The OP can make sure to wash his hands of them, too.” – Ok-Cap-204
“NTA. Your parents’ obsession with having grandkids is clouding their judgment. You have no obligation to Cassie or her child after she decided to cheat on you.”
“It’s cruel of them to expect you to play daddy to her child. Stay no contact and continue with your plans. Cassie and your parents are awful. Sorry, OP.” – Forward_Most_1933
“For all OP knows she:”
“1. Was casually dating and ended up pregnant.”
“2. Had a one-night stand and had contact with this guy afterward and he blew her off.”
“3. Felt shame of getting pregnant by a stranger and sold the drunken one-night stand lie to OP’s parents to get them on her side before telling OP.”
“Either way, if the tables were reversed, she would leave as well. They aren’t married so that should make the decision a lot easier. Don’t let anyone manipulate you into staying with your ex. There’s a whole lot more you’d have to deal with in the future from a person like this.”
“It wasn’t a mistake. If it was, OP’s ex should be a lot more remorseful and understanding about OP not wanting to be there, meaning she wants him to stay and help her but not just EXPECT him to. The fact that she expects him to just do so shows a level of selfishness and immaturity that OP will be glad to get away from. That child is already going to have a rationally f**ked up mom.”
“Move on and stay away for a while if you have to. Nothing good will come if you don’t. There are plenty of women out there who won’t cheat just because you’re gone for seven or more months. NTA.” – SilverPenny88
“NTA. You don’t know if it was a drunken one-night stand or if she’s been hooking up on the regular since you have been gone for seven months. What was her plan? Pick you up from the airport visibly pregnant and say SURPRISE?!”
“Here’s the facts. She cheated on you. She never felt guilt for her betrayal. She thought she could keep it a secret from you for life. She then finds out she’s pregnant.”
“Again, she chose not to let you know. She also chose to keep the baby versus seeking termination of her pregnancy. All of these choices she made on her own. She can now suffer the consequences of her own actions.”
“I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t support and raise an affair child. It’s not the innocent child’s fault how they were conceived. I would resent the child, and that’s not a healthy environment to grow up in. The child should grow up in a loving environment.”
“If your parents want to support her and her kid, I’d step back from them as well. I know they care for her, but you are their son.” – Jokester_316
“I would be livid, too, if my family told me to stay with someone who cheated on me and then kept harassing me over it.”
“Your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend did not think about you or your feelings when she was f**king some random dude, but now you are supposed to consider her feelings and ‘step up’? What planet are they living on?”
“NTA.” – Abject_Jump9617
Others agreed and could not believe everyone supported the ex instead of the OP.
“‘It was a mistake.’ A mistake is turning left instead of right.”
“What she did was planned and of her volition. She made the decision to go somewhere and she met someone. She then decided to talk to him. Then she decided to talk to him about f**king him or vice versa.”
“But an agreement was planned and made. Then they had to plan to go somewhere to f**k. When they arrived at whomever’s place, they decide to remove their clothes…”
“That is planned and not a mistake.”
“If OP stayed with her, he wouldn’t have any dignity or respect for himself.” – NatureCarolynGate
“NTA and why the f**k do so many people think a man should bite the bullet and raise some rando’s kid because their wife/girlfriend/acquaintance decided to have unprotected sex with some other guy?” – Solid-Feature-7678
“They want you to step up and raise a child that’s the result of her cheating? That’s insane, dude. Her family can step up and take care of her child. She will cheat again.” – Next-East6189
“She cheated and withheld information, knew she’d have to come clean, but expected her ex to pay the price?! That’s delusional at best.”
“As for his parents, even if she’s been in your family for most of her life, she BETRAYED your son! And they want him to suck it up? Nah, he needs time away from all of them and she needs to finish coming clean.”
“If Mom and Dad want this baby more than their own kid, he should be better off knowing it now instead of her cheating and passing another baby off as his when he was home and oblivious.” – amafalet
“D**n, you are so NTA. This sounds like it just happened (you finding out, I mean), and your parents are already trying to guilt you into raising a baby your high school sweetheart got knocked up with by some rando in a drunken one-night stand.”
“If this is real, everyone else but you are the AHs. Cassie OBVIOUSLY. But your parents?! YOU don’t need to ‘step up’ for anyone here because you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“All of them saying ‘mistakes happen’…just wow. Take all the time you need to deal with all this information, betrayal, and bulls**t, and then do whatever you need to do for yourself. Don’t be manipulated into doing anything you don’t want to do.” – glimmerseeker
“NTA. It’s kinda wild to expect you to suddenly take on the role of father, just because they want grandchildren. You two have been together for a long time already.”
“Turn the page, and enjoy the new chapter in your life. She’s already made her bed to lie in.” – Life_Photograph_9672
The subReddit could not stop shaking their heads over how the OP was being treated during a situation that was not his fault. While the OP was simply doing his duty and traveling for work, his girlfriend was turning their life upside-down and expecting him to act as if nothing had changed.
It was clear the OP’s ex-girlfriend, his parents, and the future baby would be very happy together, while the OP could start a new life where he’d been sent for work.