It’s still far too common, not to mention too easy, to look down on people for working certain jobs.
But it’s important to reserve judgment, for more often than not people might find themselves working jobs which are less than glamorous simply to help them get by.
And regardless, hard work always should be commended, no matter the position.
In order to help pay for her rent and tuition, Redditor Professional_Kiwi914 took a job with some pre-existing stigmas attached to it, something her roommate reminded her of on a regular basis.
Before too long, the original poster (OP) couldn’t take any more of her roommates constant criticisms of her job, and didn’t mince words in telling her so.
Worried that she might have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA snapping at my roommate for judging me for working at Hooters?”
The OP explained how her roommate’s judgment towards her job finally reached its boiling point.
“I (21 F[emale]) recently got a job at hooters and my roommate, Ivy, has started making extremely passive-aggressive comments about it.”
“I just started the job two months ago and ever since I started my roommate will not let up.”
“We are both college students and both work in order to pay rent so I decided that I would try a hand at hooters because I have heard about how much money you can make, and so far it’s all been true.”
“I know some people have had really bad experiences but I adore all of my coworkers and have a very healthy work environment.”
“Onto the issue, Ivy will make the rudest comments when I am about to leave or come home.”
“She’ll make ‘slut jokes’, say I am making women’s lives harder by enforcing standards and make comments around the idea that I am losing ‘worth’.”
“Every time I bite back she always gets defensive and says that I don’t know how to take a joke.”
“This all blew up over the weekend.”
“We invited all of our friends and boyfriends over to our apartment.”
“They all got there at 8 and my shift ended at 10 so I was going to be late no matter what.”
“When I walked in the door Ivy pointed at me and said ‘This is what I was talking about!'”
“‘The uniform is so demeaning!'”
“And I don’t know if it was the stress of everything but I just snapped.”
“I told her to shut the f*ck up and that if she was going to make her sh*tty comments at least do it in private.”
“She got really sulky and said I was proving her point that I can’t take a joke.”
“Most of our friends took my side but I want an unbiased opinion.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for snapping at her roommate.
Everyone agreed that Ivy was being passive aggressive and judgmental, and the OP had every right to put her in her place.
“NTA.”
“When someone says ‘can’t you take a joke?'”
“‘I hear ‘can’t you take bullying?'”- Traveling-Techie
“NTA.”
“Is Hooters my favorite phenomenon?”
“Nope.”
“But do I absolutely support women doing whatever they want and making as much money as they can?”
“Absolutely.”
“You do you.”
“The roommate needs to pipe down and remember that if we’re going to get anywhere with getting rid of misogyny then women need to support other women.”- clutteredshovel
“NTA.”
“Her trying to control what you do isn’t very empowering for women now is it.”
“She sounds misogynistic AF.”- dumbbinch99
“NTA.”
“I hate Hooters but that doesn’t give your roommate the right to mock and demean you, especially in front of others.”
“She needs to learn to mind her business.”- lascivious_chicken
“NTA.”
“She keeps trying to defend herself by saying she is joking, but you’ve made it clear that you don’t appreciate her ‘jokes’ on this subject.”
“That means it’s no longer a joke.”
“It’s bullying and demeaning you.”
“If she is so worried about empowerment, she shouldn’t be so focused on tearing you down for making a choice that highlights your physical attributes rather than being ashamed of them.”- 1568314
“NTA.”
“If someone is going to make it rain, go on and pick it up.”
“If you want to work at hooters, work at hooters.”
“If you want to be a stripper be a stripper.”
“If you want to be a librarian, go to fucking library school.”
“You do you.”
“Your roommate can go f*ck herself.”- Guilty666
“NTA I’m a woman and Hooters is my fav chain restaurant.”- drowzychaperone
“NTA.”
“You know what really makes a woman lose her worth?”
“Putting down another woman.”- aNoNonny23
“I don’t think anyone should feel shamed for what they do for work.”
“You’re NTA. It’s not a joke to degrade someone.”
“She needs to learn how to tell a joke that’s actually funny.”
“Now I need some fried pickles.”- nuts_n_bolts
“NTA.”
“At first glance, Ivy seems to be your iconic: ‘I’m happy to give it, but can’t take it’ type… who’s always quick with a joke putting someone else down, but when ‘joked back at’, is fast to get defensive.”
“Really hate those kind of people to begin with.”
“Then as your story goes on, Ivy kinda proves herself to be a real a**hole.”
“Really hope you can get her out of your life – she sounds awful.”- UMCorian
“NTA.”
“Hooters is not even that serious.”
“Why is she acting like you are using sex as a weapon?”- melodyharper
“NTA.”
“And I’m a boomer dyed in the wool feminist.”
“She’s probably jealous.”
“Find a different living situation.”- Stock_Vanilla8655
“‘You can’t take a joke'” is code for “I”m an a**hole and don’t have a sense of humor myself, so I just insult people and call it a joke’.”
“NTA.”- Zestyclose-Page-1507
“NTA.”
“She’s probably just jealous you, uh, ‘qualify’ and she doesn’t.”
“I kid, I kid.”- TaliesinWI
“NTA.”
“You clearly expressed to her that you didn’t appreciate that line of jokes multiple times and for her to do it in front of everyone is a a**hole thing to do.”
“Maybe she has the luxury of having wealthy parents that pay for everything or is going eyeball high in debt.”
“I’d 100% work at hooters if I was a female.”
“It’s a great income for the period of life you’ll make the most there.”- icollectt
“I mean.”
“I definitely judge Hooters because the sexed up environment can go sideways really quick, and I’ve heard some stories.”
“But if you’re confident enough to wear their uniform and careful enough to do the job safely, go for it!”
“I’m all for any legal job that allows you to take care of yourself and better yet, lets you further your education.”
“NTA.”- psyche1986
“NTA.”
“You chose to work there knowing the uniform, there for its not really demeaning, no one is forcing you to wear it.”
“Ivy sounds like she may not understand feminism and slut shaming is really really over played at this point.”- Platypus_Dream
“NTA.”
“Your roommate is jealous and taking her insecurities out on you.”
“Hooters is literally just like any other chain.”
“I feel like most people that assume it’s practically a strip club haven’t actually been to hooters.”-ASBF2015
“NTA.”
“Please ask her to explain, in detail, exactly what the joke is.”
“She isn’t joking and she knows it.”
“She just doesn’t like being called out.”- frustratedfren
“Hooters is sexist, misogynistic and ought to have been left in the 1970’s where it belongs, but your roommate is still being a huge a**hole for the way she is going about this.”
“Ask her to explain the ‘joke’.”
“NTA.”- Sorry_Opportunity_81
“NTA.”
“She’s pouting because she thought everyone would join in and give you shit too, and that you’d just stand there and take it, and instead you stood up for yourself and no one agreed with her because they actually seem to respect and like you, making her look like the a**hole that she is.”-Worth_Raspberry_11
“I’m not a fan of hooters, but I am a fan of women earn a living.”
“Your friend is not being a friend because passive aggression is insidious and toxic behavior.”
“Your faux pas isn’t where you work, but who you choose to associate with.”
“Nothing about her behavior screams ‘friend’ to me.”
“Does she always disrespect you like this when you do anything that she doesn’t approve of?”
“Don’t you find that weird?”- IrreverantBard
Considering that Ivy doesn’t ever need to go to Hooters herself, one can’t help but wonder what she was trying to accomplish by constantly making life more difficult for the OP.
Who, she should remember, was only working there to help cover her share of the rent.
Then too, even if Ivy was “only joking”, the fact that she was well aware that the OP “couldn’t take a joke” and continued telling them regardless is very telling indeed.