Family members don’t always have to be on the same page when it comes to expressing opinions, but there are certain issues that can be contentious and cause division.
Redditor NyxiesPuppet is a 24-year-old mother whose father made a comment reflecting his negative view on something she was not on board with.
When she challenged him on it, he became upset and her sister accused her of being disrespectful.
She visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for telling my dad his masculinity is too fragile?”
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“So my whole life I’ve known that my dad was a homophobe. No one else in my immediate family is, and no one really talks about any kind of lbgtq+ topic around him so it doesn’t really come up a lot with him.”
“But whenever anything ‘gay’ happens around him he starts on a small rant.”
“So anyway. After living with this my whole life, I am now 24 and I have a one year old little girl who LOVES the Wiggles (a kids show). Sometimes when I’m visiting my parents we’ll (me and my mom) turn on Wiggles for her on Netflix and it keeps her entertained while we visit.
“My dad is always commenting on how he doesnt like the wiggles and its creepy. I usually ignore him but yesterday I decided to ask why. And he said ‘Because, to sing and dance and smile like that as a full grown man, you have to be gay. That’s not the kind of people you want around kids.'”
“I was kind of in shock at what he said and I was like ‘its just something funny and colorful for the kids.’ I dont even remember what he said afterwards but it was another gay comment and I said ‘well maybe their masculinity isn’t as fragile as yours.'”
“My mom laughed at my comment but my dad was less than amused and was in a really bad mood and snapping at everyone so I decided to leave early.”
“My mom told me he’s still mad this morning and that I really shouldn’t have said anything because ‘I know how he is.'”
“She also told my sister about it who texted me to tell me I should be more respectful to our dad (shes always been a daddys girl) and basically that I was being an AH. So AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors sided with the OP as not being the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA Honestly. If he’s going to talk like that all the time maybe he should expect to hear about it occasionally. You didn’t cuss him out or anything.” – ItsTime1234
“I think he’d be less upset if she cussed him out. He’s mad because she was right.” – apathyontheeast
“There are two types of homophobes. The supressed/secretly gay, and the straight a**holes.”
“I’ll forever think all homophobes are secretly gay, because that’s either true eta first group or hillarious eta second group.”
“Edit: people apparently struggle realizing I’m laughing of the straight a**holes, not of the people who are secretly gay.”
“I have a lot of pity for people with internalised self hate. I also have zero tolerance for their emotionally immature a**holery. No matter the size of the trauma, nothing excuses abusive behaviours that hurts other people.” – Darktwistedlady
“I used to hear this all the time about members of my family: ‘That’s just how he/she is.’ ‘You know how he/she is.’ and other variations on the theme.”