Class can mean so many things.
We can use it to define a collection of students but also insinuate things about how someone behaves or how much money they have.
Of course, money doesn’t beget proper behavior.
What happens when someone uses their class to bully someone else and finds out that their are consequences?
This was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) Throwaway1828490 when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for some outside opinions.
“AITA for kicking out my boyfriend’s mom and sister?”
OP began with a brief background.
“My (25 Female) and my boyfriend, Ryan, (27 Male) have been dating for a little over two years and recently moved in together.”
“Something worth noting is that he comes from a very wealthy, upper-class family whereas I come from lower-middle class.”
“They have imported furniture, crazy expensive artwork, a chef, a maid, etc. But Ryan is the complete opposite of his family.”
“He doesn’t buy the most expensive items or shop at the most expensive stores like his family.”
“He’s frugal like me.”
Then got right to the issue at hand.
“So yesterday his mom and sister came to the house for the first time. We greeted them at the front door and their first comment was that the house is too small.”
“Ryan and I just brushed it off because we knew that was coming.”
“They came in and right off the bat made comments about how there isn’t enough artwork, that the couches look and feel cheap, the countertop is hideous, etc.”
“They went so far as to critique the type of glass used on the shower door.”
“Then they got to our bedroom and even though I don’t have much respect for them I thought they’d at least have the decency to not thoroughly dissect the entire room and just take a quick look.”
“Boy was I wrong.”
“The first comment she made was about the way our bed was made. I have anemia so I’m always very cold.”
“So I sleep with the main comforter, a sherpa blanket and a weighted blanket.”
“The bed was made like normal with my extra blankets folded in half on my side. I’ll admit it doesn’t look the prettiest but it’s OUR room.”
“I explained this to them and they said that I could, at the very least, put them in the closet.”
“I showed them that the closet is already full. They rolled their eyes and mumbled something I couldn’t understand.”
“This annoyed me but I kept cool.”
“But then they literally started going through our dresser drawers. I politely asked them to not do that, that those have personal items.”
“They accused me of having something to hide.”
“At that point I had enough. I asked them to leave.”
“They looked dumbfounded but I repeated myself.”
“They turned to Ryan and asked if he’s really going to let me kick them out.”
“He said that it is getting late and they should get going so they don’t get home too late.”
“After they left Ryan turned to me and said that it really wasn’t my place to ask them to leave.”
“He said he only agreed because he didn’t want to argue in front of them and give them more reason to not like me, but if I wanted them gone I should’ve said something to him and he could’ve said something that would’ve prevented the argument.”
“I said that they needed to be called out for their inappropriate behavior and he wasn’t doing that so I took it upon myself.”
She was left to wonder.
“This is the first argument we’ve had that hasn’t been resolved within a few hours so I’m wondering if maybe I am in the wrong?”
Having laid out the issue, OP turned to Reddit for some outside opinions.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some pointed out how ridiculous the guest’s behavior had been.
“NTA – Who the hell goes through the drawers in someone else’s house?”
“That’s insane behavior.”
“Even if they had been perfect guests up until that point, that act alone is worthy of giving a guest the boot out the door.” ~ Sneaky__Fox85
Others made an important distinction.
“BF’s family may have money, but they have no class.” ~ MidwestNormal
“I always say money only makes you more of what you already are. If you’re classless trash, you are just classless trash with money.” ~ Forsaken_Button_9387
Commenters agreed with OP’s course of action.
“OP can do as they please.”
“But I wouldn’t be happy with someone walking into my house and criticizing everything. Someone going through my drawers in my house?”
“Absolutely not. I would have immediately kicked them out on the spot.” ~ CSCasper
While others were concerned about the future.
“Its your place too. You have every right to kick them out.”
“Bravo on not letting them belittle you.”
“Your bf should grow some balls and defend you and your home. I hope this isn’t a sign of how your future looks.” ~ yana010
OP did return to give an update.
“So we finally sat down to talk about what happened (it took so long because we both had work and wanted plenty of time to talk it through so we waited until that could happen).”
“I explained to him that his mom and sister going through my drawers was something I am not okay with and I felt like since he wasn’t saying anything to them that I needed to.”
“I also told him that him saying ‘it isn’t my place’ to kick them out didn’t sit right with me as I am paying for the house just as much as he is and I have the right to kick out people who are disrespectful/rude.”
“He said that he didn’t mean it in the way it came out and what he meant was that it’s better for him to deal with his family.”
“He agreed that I have the right to kick out guests and he apologized for saying the wrong thing.”
“He also said that he was also taken by complete surprise when they started going through my drawers because even though growing up they had no boundaries and would often snoop through his room, he never thought they’d do it to me and he was shocked.”
“He apologized for not stepping in and assured me that if they’re to ever come over again, he won’t allow any rude comments or inappropriate behavior and if they say/do something that he doesn’t catch or notice to send him a quick text (so they won’t know) and he’ll handle it.”
“I see some of your comments saying this is a major red flag, to get rid of him, etc. But this was the first time anything like this happened and his explanation seemed completely genuine.”
“I’ve spent two years with this man and I love him so I’m not going to throw in the towel over this.”
“Thank you guys for your responses.”
“This was the first time I ever posted on reddit and was a bit nervous as to how it’d be received, but it went well. :)”
Class isn’t just about how much money you have or the status you hold in a certain level of society.
Classy is really about how you treat those around you, especially when you gain nothing from the exchange.